Be careful where you post...

[willskitten]

I would not recommend venturing forth onto the "Moms Without Custody" forum unless you are prepared to be attacked.  I am a CP mother and a NCP stepmother and some new developments have come about with my ex and my custody agreement.  I was interested in someones story ( I won't give her name) and was accused of harassing her.  It would be nice to know that I have somewhere to go for help and advice if/when my ex persues more custody in the very near future.  We have followed the mediation agreement perfectly over the last six months and have been able to give our daughters some stability and routine.  He has about 35% and I have about 65% because this is what worked best with our work schedules.  I am more than willing to agree for him to have more time, it will be good for our girls.  My concern is that he is only asking now because he has a new girlfriend.  He is 36 and she is 23 w/a 4 month old baby by a man she says she can not find.  I think she is looking for a new "baby daddy".  When I was 23, I would not have been interested in a 36 yr old man w/children.  My girls really like her and I am glad for that , but I am concerned that her goal is to move in with him and get taken care of.  He is head over heels, I met him when he was 23 and his mentality has not changed so I can see why this is working for him. Anyway...I just have the feeling that things are about to change drastically and my girls will be caught in the middle.

[BelleMere]

Seems like a common theme for an NCP parent to start asking for more time when they have a relationship - I think there are a lot of factors involved in that, including possibly a new sense of self confidence and of having something to offer the kids? Romantic relationships seem to cause a generally improved sense of self across the board. She might be encouraging him - but that could also be because she wants her baby to have siblings and/or she just feels it's the right way to parent. Still, her motives are not something you can really consider. At 23 with a baby she may have the sense to know that she needs someone older and a bit more stable than her fellow 23 yr old males - one of whom just burned her pretty badly. So all you can consider, really, is what your ex has a right to - as the girls' father he has a right to contact, visitation as ordered and more as you allow or the court agrees with. If he lives close enough by, closer to 50.50 is possible, but not for a while I would think. Sometimes that's a hard thing to accept, esp when we have questions about the situation in the other house. But at any rate, I think that any change would happen gradually. You can discourage "extras" at this stage if you have a real concern about him moving her into the kids' lives too fast - maybe tell him that "extras" that are him and the girls are fine, but that you have concerns about the GF b/c if the relationship doesnt last, your girls will have to deal with losing her also, as well as a baby they may come to love. Just things to consider. Ultimately he has the right to decide who the girls are around when they are with him, but you can certainly voice your thoughts. Nicely. Once. Good luck.

[rainbow1]

How old are the children? My husband's ex requested more placement time. We found out shortly that she wasn't using the time to spend with the child, but had lost her babysitter for her 3 other children( under 3 yrs. old) and was using the 11 year old as a free sitter.

[Peanutsdad]

I dont care a tinkers damn where I post. If anyone has a problem with me posting,, they can go find a niiice big pile of sand and pound it straight up their.....




Give me a holler kitten,, I think I know some folks can help you gain perspective.