Father Wanting Joint Custody - Out-of-Wedlock Births...! Mississippi

[ICANGELS]

I'm trying to play attorney here because the cheapest one I could find starts with a $2500 retainer!  Our situation is unusual for South Mississippi, and my son needs to do something fast.

My son has two children with his x-girlfriend - ages 7mos. and 2 1/2.  (She is one of the most mean-spirited individuals I've ever encountered...)  She was extremely jealous of my son's baby from his marriage (that she broke up), that she was physically abusive to him, a now 3 year old boy. (Long story...  but because there were no bruises when the baby finally could tallk and told us what happened, DHS said they couldn't help.)

My son and his X separated a couple months ago.  He kept the children on his days off, Thursday - Sunday, as the Mother worked long hours on these days.  Once I confronted his X about the abuse, about a month after they separated, she decided that she no longer wanted her two children around me, and began making it difficult for my son to see them at all.  During this time, my son gave her cash and/or paid various bills as financial support, which she denies ever receiving.  I told him to give her checks from now on, but she refuses to cash them... (She's getting food stamps and welfare, and doesn't want a paper trail).

He wants and deserves joint legal and joint physical custody.  The children are not in school and it shouldn't be a problem.    The baby is so little that she may soon forget him if he isn't allowed quality time with her.  He, of course, doesn't have $2500 to pay an attorney.

HOW do we go about getting him legal rights?  One attorney says he has to first have a court order acknowledging him as the natural father, even though his name is already on both birth certificates...

I've sifted through the parenting plans at deltabravo...  I was once a legal secretary and have some knowledge of the system here.  The problem is that I haven't been able to find another case at the courthouse to follow, where an unwed father is requesting joint legal and physical custody...

Can anyone help?  I can use a similiar case to go by, if I could only find one!

Thanks

[kiddosmom]

First off your son cannot afford not to get an attorney, period. If he walks in the court room witout one he WILL be screwed.

Second, your son needs to call welfare and tell them what is going on, they will come back after him for payment.

Third, he needs to have a paternity test, there are thousands of men out there paying for children that are not even theres.

On the checks your son writes he HAS to put ' For Child Support' on them or to the court they are considered a 'gift' and will NOT be put towards the cs obligations they feel he has to pay.

Is there any kind of court orders at this point?

[TGB]

In most states the process for establishing a parenting plan is identical to establishing paternity, except you include a parenting plan in with the paperwork.

Call support enforcement in your state and pretend that you are a mother wanting to establish paternity. Ask for all the forms and court information. They will be more than helpful.

Actually, I just checked and they do have a program for fathers to establish paternity. I suspect, however, that they won't mention a parenting plan unless you do that yourself. In some states support enforcement can establish paternity and a support order administratively without going through the courts. Just make sure that you don't accept that, because you need the weight of a court order behind your parenting plan. There is a $25 fee to get started. That is a heck of a lot cheaper than an attorney if it provides what you need.

See also "Tips for Getting Started" at [a href=http://www.deltabravo.net/news/10-19-2000.htm" target="new]http://www.deltabravo.net/news/10-19-2000.htm[/a]

[ICANGELS]

We did call welfare.  Seems they can't do anything about her not accepting payment by checks, but recommended that he sign their 'agreement' for child support and run the payments through them... (this gives him no visitation whatsoever...)

No need for a paternity test... the baby looks JUST like him, and we already had a test done on the 2 1/2 year old, when they separated a year or so ago and she received food stamps.  Since they were back together, the "Judgment Determining Paternity and Other Relief" didn't order child support.

She won't cash the checks, but we do put 'child support' on them.

[ICANGELS]

Thank You.  I'll make the call and see what happens.  The welfare department did suggest the paternity/support order without going through the courts.  We'll avoid that for now, in hopes of taking the matter into the court ourselves, rather than having DHS start the paperwork.

I'll go check out the link.

[nikilax]

Hi,

make sure that your son puts that money aside even if his ex won't cash the checks.  That way, when there is a support order put in place he won't be too far behind or scrambling to come up with the money.

Welfare will come after him for any monies she's received from them.  My SO just finished paying off a welfare debt from when his ex went on welfare for a short time after they broke up way back in 95-96.

He just got lucky that it was in a state that doesn't charge interest on the money.

Good luck!!!!