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[kidsneeddads]

I hope you can help me. All parties live in Deschutes County in Oregon.  My ex and I split 2 years ago.  We did 50/50 for over a year before filing any paperwork.  She got mad about something and filed for full custody after several threats.  We went to court without lawyers on either side, she won.

We now have a judgement filed giving her custody with visitation for me on a modified every other week basis.  I have the kids from Thurs. night until Monday morning every other week, and in the summer time we split 2 weeks on/off for the summer.  

Child support was, of course included in the judgement.  The calculation worked out to $431 after credit for parenting time.  My ex has for the previous three jobs earned between 35-45K/year, and just recently quit the industry she worked in to work as office manager for the company her boyfriend owns.

Her boss/boyfriend is a millionare, and owns the company she claims now she only makes 1500/month.  I earn about 2700/month in sales, of course that changes from month to month, the point is we have actually equal earning potential.

In court, when questioned about this, she said it was because her "partner" and her were trying to build the business back up, so she had taken a lower paying job that could be more flexible for daycare and stuff.  So the judge ordered child support, and I am stuck with 69% obligation for costs of kids.

She has increased the amount of time she takes my 3 year old to daycare- up to about 50 hours per week, yet still claims she makes only 1500 per month.  She drives a new BMW and lives in a very nice house.  Also, she owns another car, a Subaru Outback Wagon.  

Three weeks after the judgement, she filed papers called ORDER TO SHOW CAUSE REGARDING MODIFICATION OF JUDGEMENT to have the child support more than doubled because of the extra daycare costs, and perscription medication which I currently pay 1/2 of anyway (but this way, I will have to pay 69%.  

I responded with an affidavit in response asking for her order to be dropped because it was not the appropriate format or timeframe.  In Oregon you are allowed to modify every two years.  The judge did not drop it and a hearing has been scheduled.  

I take my daughter to daycare for approximately 15-20 hours per week when she is with me- to a different babysitter.  She said she would hold me in contempt for that and I had to switch her to the daycare she chose because she was the "sole decision maker" for schooling issues.

I now take her to the school my ex chose, but for much less time.  My ex still pays (the school would change it if she asked) for the FULL time tuition, which I will get charged 69% for if she wins this thing.

1.  The hearing is scheduled for September- what will it entail? Will there be questioning and a decision then, or will it go further?

2.  How can I subpeona her income, bank records, car payment, rent, bills, etc?  I am afraid the boyfriends company will just cover everything.

3.  How can I prove her previous earnings/earning potential?

4.  What can I do (if anything) about this daycare mess?  Can I ask to have the kid with me while I am home instead of in daycare?

I really don't think I can afford an attorney, and we are so close to it being over- any suggestions?

[socrateaser]

>1.  The hearing is scheduled for September- what will it
>entail? Will there be questioning and a decision then, or will
>it go further?

You're not really getting this court thing. This isn't judge judy or some other tv court appearance. Litigants have the right to advance their position and defend against the other party, but if a litigant fails to do so, then he/she loses -- and the judge doesn't really care -- due process has been served.

>
>2.  How can I subpeona her income, bank records, car payment,
>rent, bills, etc?  I am afraid the boyfriends company will
>just cover everything.

You serve her with a request for production of documents -- generally you must give the other party 30 days to respond, so your time is running out -- or, perhaps it has already run out. You can get the time shortend by filing a motion to shorten time, but as your not an attorney, you're gonna have trouble getting the judge to agree, because you've probably had 30 days to act, but you haven't acted.

>
>3.  How can I prove her previous earnings/earning potential?

Earning capacity is (1) talent and ability to work; (2) availability of work; and (3) willingness to work. Prove 1 and 2 true and 3 false and the court must impute income to the other parent, unless that parent shows why it is in the best interests of the child that the parent available work time with the child.

You can have her evaluated by a vocational counselor, expert witness, who will report on her earning capacity (expensive), or you can try to prove it yourself (something that you're apparently not too good at, based on your past experiences).

You need to advance the theory of earning capacity in a written brief/motion to impute income on grounds that the other parent is willfully underemploying herself. Then you need to ask questions about what she does for a living and how much she earns, and try to get her to admit that she could work more hours if she wanted to and that it would have no impact on the child, or simply show through your questioning, that the child uses a huge amount of daycare time, and that the child isn't in need of specialized healthcare or other attention, and that the mother could work 40 hours if she wished to, and that there are jobs available in her category, and the amount that those jobs pay (via classified ads, or internet job ads, or salary.com, etc.).

It's up to you to make your case so persuasive that the judge is forced to recognize that the other parent is just letting you pick up the slack so she can hang out, and that it's not equitable (the magic legal word for "fair") that you be ordered to pay support that effectively subsidizes her and her partner's attempt to start a new business.

That's the key on your set of facts.

>
>4.  What can I do (if anything) about this daycare mess?  Can
>I ask to have the kid with me while I am home instead of in
>daycare?

If it doesn't impact your ability to work 40 hours per week, then yes, otherwise, no (same reason, earning capacity, you can't assert it against the other parent, and not expect it to be used against you).

>
>I really don't think I can afford an attorney, and we are so
>close to it being over- any suggestions?

Yes, I really don't think that you cannot afford an attorney, but, if you want to keep trying to prove that you can dance with your ex, that's up to you. Just realize that this system is set up to give the parent who has the children a HUGE edge. So, no matter how smart or well educated you may be, ultimately you will lose unless you have more custody than the other parent. The best you can do is to mitigate your losess.

Also, your words give away your naivety, because, when it comes to child support, it's NEVER over, until the kid is an adult (and in Oregon, that means an adult over the age of 21, because you're responsible for college support, too).

Don't take it as a defeat to your self esteem. It's like having a 50 lb. bag of concrete strapped to your back while running the 100 meter dash.