Reasonable position? and potential liability?

[DecentDad]

Hi Soc,

Ok, we still don't have signed judgment.  Opposing counsel filed proposed judgment with the court, alleging that both parties agree to it but I hadn't signed it.  My attorney filed my proposed judgment with the court, along with objections to opposing counsel's version.

Opposing counsel is on vacation for two weeks but there is an OSC on calendar for Aug 30 (his first day back) by the court's own motion to determine sanctions against opposing counsel for failing to provide judgment from the May 28 settlement at trial.

So, we'll be headed back to court at some point, I guess to argue which judgment version is appropriate and follows the signed settlement.

Another petty issue has come up... biomom has advised that her sister is getting married on Nov 20 (Saturday), and our 4-year-old daughter is to be flower girl.  She wants to travel with daughter from Thurs to Monday for the wedding.

Daughter will then be traveling with me on Wednesday (Nov 24) to Sunday for Thanksgiving with my family.

Nov 20 is my custodial weekend, and that's been known since May 2004.

I expressed concerns to biomom (email) about a four year old traveling so much in such a short time period.  Daughter seems to always get sick when returning from a trip with biomom, and to expect her to be excited to jump on planes again 48 hours later to spend time with my family seems unreasonable.  

I concluded that it seemed like the worst possible weekend to pick for a wedding, but if it were any other weekend, of course I'd be flexible so daughter could attend the wedding.

On top of best interest, my own sister won't be able to join family during Thanksgiving, and she was planning on coming to my home the Nov 20 weekend.

On top of everything else, biomom's sister is 46 years old, and this is her second wedding in four years.

Additionally, every year biomom has created trouble around the holidays, so no problem showing that pattern.  Two years ago, she filed application to go Ex Parte to try to force me to give up one of my weekends before X-mas (didn't work out for her).  She tried did the same thing the year prior, but through her attorney.  Last year, she refused to agree to interstate travel for my Thanksgiving time with daughter, and I had to get Ex Parte orders to allow it.  Last year, she "missed her flight" returning from X-mas vacation, and stayed an extra day, which she had initially requested but I had turned down.

BTW, we have court orders stating that neither parent will make plans for child during the other parent's custodial time without first conferring with that parent.

1.  Should I bear any responsibility to change around the parenting schedule if I think it's not good for daughter, if it interferes with my sister's visit, and if I think it would likely have negative impact on daughter's enjoyment of Thanksgiving?

2.  If biomom moves to change the parenting schedule to accommodate that weekend, does she have a leg to stand on (i.e., especially because we have orders for conferring with each other before arranging things during other parent's time?)?

3.  The bigger picture question... if I hold my position of not allowing daughter to do that travel for her aunt's wedding, could it have any impact if raised before the court while judge is using his discretion to determine the judgment language (i.e., the judgment language in dispute is wholly irrelevant to that one weekend)?

Thanks for your thoughts,
DD

[socrateaser]

I think you're going overboard. Get a signed agreement from the other parent to swap weekends so that the kid can be a flower girl, and be done with it. Otherwise, you're gonna look like a manipulative, controlling ___________ (fill in blank).