OFP problem

[Sunshine1]

Hi Soc, need some help here:

Little background...BF married a woman off the internet and all was well until about 6 months ago.  She would have altercations with me over the dumbest things and then BF would not be allowed at home, or allowed to pick up the kids etc.. Fast forward

We have had 3 major fights involving parenting time, which could have been easily resolved if she would just stop calling or talking to me and let the BF  have his visitation like usual.  Anyway last Thursday was it.  I had found out that he had been living in his car for a week because they had a fight about me and the kids..mainly me( I know what you are thinking..I must be a PBFH..absolutely not the case here).  I had no knowledge of the fighting or had I any contact to make it happen..

Thursday SM decided to call repeatedly and leave me every kind of message she could everything to calling me names to she was going to kill herself..at that point BF had retreated to a friends house and then put an OFP on himself and our kids because we are her target.

Now all is well only 7 whole days later.  Turns out she is bipolar and went off her meds for about 11 months or so and that would explain all of the problems we were having and the very strange fights we would get in to and of course the messages.  BF has now lifted the OFP and SM is coming back home tomorrow.  Just because he feels safe, I certainly feel the opposite. He has only known her for about a little under a year and in that time they have gotten married AND had a baby..
My questions:

1. Do I file an OFP on me and the children?  She targets me everytime she hits her manic state and wants me dead and this last time she was very serious.

2. Knowing what I know now, by doing this, this is obviously going to effect his visitation and his family, do you have any suggestions as to what I can do to facilitate vistitation WITHOUT her around?


Anything you can help with is greatly appreciated, I feel like crap doing this to the kids and their dad but I don't know how else to protect them.

[socrateaser]

>1. Do I file an OFP on me and the children?  She targets me
>everytime she hits her manic state and wants me dead and this
>last time she was very serious.

I would file for sole custody and for an OFP, or, in my neck of the woods, a TRO (temporary restraining order).

>
>2. Knowing what I know now, by doing this, this is obviously
>going to effect his visitation and his family, do you have any
>suggestions as to what I can do to facilitate vistitation
>WITHOUT her around?

Ask the court to limit his access to the children to visitation at least 300' from the step parent.

[Sunshine1]

"I would file for sole custody and for an OFP, or, in my neck of the woods, a TRO (temporary restraining order). "

Ok, I filed the TRO today ( she will be served probably tomorrow), but I already have physical custody of the children and share legal custody with their dad.

1. Are you saying I should file for full legal custody as well?

2. With a TRO in place how can he have them around her, it says no contact with the children?

Thank you Soc you are very helpful and have calmed me down a notch.

[socrateaser]

>1. Are you saying I should file for full legal custody as
>well?

If this woman's mental condition was unknown at the time that custody was originally ordered, then you have sufficient grounds for sole physical custody, if the woman is a danger to the children. It may be that your current orders are sufficient, when combined withe the TRO, assuming that your ex doesn't challenge it.

>
>2. With a TRO in place how can he have them around her, it
>says no contact with the children?

She can't, but he has the right to the children, and she has a right to be in her home, so he will need to take the kids elsewhere. I'm fairly certain that your ex will seek to modify the effect of the TRO.