Questions re contempt

[DecentDad]

Hi Soc,

Orders read that on Fridays, child is with me "from after school" or at 5pm "if no school."

Orders read that "Exchanges shall be at school where appropriate."

Today, my daughter's preschool let out a few hours early after a holiday program the kids did.  To avoid confrontation at school, I emailed biomom previously to advise her I'll be taking daughter home from preschool today upon its end.  She wrote back, disputing it, saying that I had to wait until the normal time that school ends, that she wouldn't let me take child from school.  I wrote back, advising that I hope she doesn't force a scene at the school, and if she violates orders, I'll need to get police report of it.

I videotaped my daughter's performance, happened to have the camera, and turned it on when biomom approached the post-program party in the kids' clasroom.  I asked her where daughter's stuff was.  She again said that I'm not taking daughter home.  I told her what orders say, that she's in contempt.  She said she's not.

When daughter entered classroom, biomom rushed over, grabbed her, said something.  Daughter said, "But I want to stay for the party."

I greeted daughter.  When daughter went to get cookies, I again asked biomom if she intends to stop me from taking daughter.  She affirmed.

All of the preceding was on videotape.  I made nice with the teachers, took off, and filed a police report.  Police didn't do anything but file report.  Police called her, claim that biomom told them I had to wait until 1:15pm per another agreement (no such thing exists).

I went to biomom's house and picked her up at 1:15pm.

1.  Because I didn't physically try to grab daughter at preschool and leave with her (not wanting a literal tug of war), did I waive the preschool pick-up?  Or is it enough that biomom's words made it clear she would not release custody?

2.  In itself, it's petty to go to court over losing 3 hours.  The bigger picture is the constant crap biomom pulls, and this is the cleanest contempt opportunity I've had.  Worth filing contempt (i.e., to add to overall pattern)?

Thanks, Soc.  Got another pregunta I'll post separately.

DD

[socrateaser]

>1.  Because I didn't physically try to grab daughter at
>preschool and leave with her (not wanting a literal tug of
>war), did I waive the preschool pick-up?  Or is it enough that
>biomom's words made it clear she would not release custody?

Not necessarily. You informed the other parent of your intent and the other parent undertook to create circumstances that would cause you to to have to use force in order to exercise custody. I'd say that she's in contempt, based on the orders, however mom could argue that it wasn't a real school day, because (1) preschool isn't really school, and (2) it was all about a party, not about education, therefore, you weren't entitled to the child until 5pm.

Hey, don't shoot the messenger. Remember you need to show, clearly and convincingly, that she is in willful disregard of the court orders. Be objective when you review the videotape.


>2.  In itself, it's petty to go to court over losing 3 hours.
>The bigger picture is the constant crap biomom pulls, and this
>is the cleanest contempt opportunity I've had.  Worth filing
>contempt (i.e., to add to overall pattern)?

I don't know. Need to review the tape. If it looks like the mom's actions are unreasonable, and that it causes distress for the child, then maybe, but, it's really all about the judge and his/her disposition, about such things.

[DecentDad]

> I'd say that she's in contempt, based on the orders,
>however mom could argue that it wasn't a real school day,
>because (1) preschool isn't really school, and (2) it was all
>about a party, not about education, therefore, you weren't
>entitled to the child until 5pm.

In terms of schedule, we've both been treating these orders as though preschool is school.  She also emphasized that I had to pick up today at 1:15pm (normal school let-out time), hence acknowledging that it WAS a school day.  Else, she would have insisted 5pm per court order (i.e., 5pm on a NO school day).

>Hey, don't shoot the messenger. Remember you need to show,
>clearly and convincingly, that she is in willful disregard of
>the court orders. Be objective when you review the videotape.
>>I don't know. Need to review the tape. If it looks like the
>mom's actions are unreasonable, and that it causes distress
>for the child, then maybe, but, it's really all about the
>judge and his/her disposition, about such things.

Thanks.

DD