Sexual abuse allegations from child about (minor) sibling

[4honor]

State is WA. Two counties over 100 miles apart involved.
Friend's sons ages 6 & 7 allege older brother has inappropriately touched both of them. Older boy is 14.  friend is NCP of older boy.

 6 yo says 14 yo grabs him and rubs his penis against him while both boys are clothed and that 14 yo is always grabbing his butt. Indicates this has happened "alot".... "like ten times".

 7 yo says 14 yo makes him take off his clothes, 14 yo drops pants and then proceeds to place his penis "in" 7 yo's butt, but that it does not hurt.  7 yo also says 14 yo makes him do the same to 14 yo in return.

7 yo known for telling lies. 7 yo also has recent fire preoccupation and is afraid of the dark. 6 yo has screaming nightmares. 6 yo known for being brutally honest. 14 yo has depression with suicidal ideation and no plan.

Friend has arranged visitation to be moved to a family member's home with no other children. Friend trying to find counselor for all three boys, as she does not know how much is true and how much is exaggeration for the wide eyed reaction it got. IF true must be addressed but if not, what kind of damage will it do to older son -- or so she thinks.

Questions:
1)  Is she legally required to bring either the police or CPS or both into this matter?
2) Friend's ex is not easy to gain cooperation from. Besides counseling, what elso should she bring to ex's attention besides not allowing 14 yo to babysit (at least until cleared or confirmed and re-assessed.)?
3) will not bringing authorities into this place friend at any liability exposure?
4) If allegations are founded, can tort suit be filed against ex for not taking 14 yo to counselor (as required in court order 15 months ago) and this subsequent increase in "messed up" which is now harming the younger boys and costing counseling fees etc?

[socrateaser]

>1)  Is she legally required to bring either the police or CPS
>or both into this matter?

Catch-22. The parent is not legally obliged to report the crime, but a therapist will likely be required to report it, and this is probably a felony. Furthermore, although the parent has no legal obligation to report, if the parent doesn't do something credible to stop it, then the child could later sue the parent for negligence. So doing nothing is probably not an option. Not a good set of choices at all.

Frankly, I think you need to go talk to a WA criminal attorney and discuss the best way out of the predicament. One thing's for sure, you need the older boy completely out of the house and living with the other parent, assuming that you are able to avoid the authorities and the boy isn't sent to juvenile detention.

>2) Friend's ex is not easy to gain cooperation from. Besides
>counseling, what elso should she bring to ex's attention
>besides not allowing 14 yo to babysit (at least until cleared
>or confirmed and re-assessed.)?

You need to seriously consider split custody, immediately.

>3) will not bringing authorities into this place friend at any
>liability exposure?

Funny, you thought of this too. You should go to law school.

>4) If allegations are founded, can tort suit be filed against
>ex for not taking 14 yo to counselor (as required in court
>order 15 months ago) and this subsequent increase in "messed
>up" which is now harming the younger boys and costing
>counseling fees etc?

LOL! Excellent analysis.

[4honor]

1) older boy only child with ex. Ex is CP.

2) see #1. Older boy 1/2 bro to younger ones.

3) liability thought of cause I work in liability claims... most homowners' insurance specifically excludes coverage for sexual abuse  although there is coverage for other liabilities... but am considering law school.

4) You taught me this one.



Decided that we couldn't keep kids safe  (those unknown ones in older boy's town too) if no report was filed. Decided the police would be a better bet than CPS.

I think we turned that poor police officer's stomach. he looked pretty green when he left. Yes, the friend is me and the boys are YDS and ODS. The perpetrator is SS. Feeling overwhelmed right about now... I think I want my Daddy.

[socrateaser]

.

[dipper]

I too have had  a brush with this.  You are doing the right thing.  I had only been married six weeks when my ss fondled my daughter.  They were the same age - and it was after a game of truth or dare in which my daughter had been dared to hit him in his privates.  She was held down and rubbed - with clothes on.  So, the circumstances were different - but, from what I understand sexual abuse in blended situations is not uncommon.  

We were devastated and we found our options were CPS, police, courts, or demand counseling outright as ss does not live with us.  We chose to ask mother for counseling.  A month  later, we made the arrangements as she had did nothing.  She did not kick against it at that point.  But, being a mother, I was absolutely ready to proceed however I needed to make sure counseling took place.

In our case, it seems that the fondling was more of a response to the game - but, that kind of response can become a habit - and.......the child has other behavior problems - that was just the last straw....

I feel for you - many times I wish I had called authorities so that it wouldnt be US doing the battle - they would have taken care of it and made sure things were done correctly.

[wendl]

OH 4 sorry you are going thru this, did you report it to the poilce in your area instead of  ss's town??

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[4honor]

But we reported to the town Police department. It allegedly happened in our town and it allegedly happened at  the kids' uncle's home in the same county.

We still have not found a good way to bring this to BM's attention.

Got any ideas?.. for before the doo doo hits the fan and the police show up on BM's doorstep?

[flewwellin]

We have had a couple different things that happened with my skids.  And after researching child abuse (sexual) i found out that you have to report it to the county that it occured in.  For us I had to call PA and talk to CPS.