need your wisdom

[skye]

The fact that you offered Saturday might show that you were not entirely unreasonable -- on the other hand, if your reason for refusing visitation, for the 3 days was simply a knee jerk reaction, rather than based on some articulable reason, then you were not reasonable.

I stated
1. Im am concerned about ralph smoking pot in front of our daughter, I have sent him letters on that certified return recipt I have it with me if you would like to see it..

2. I stated he did not have a room for her and that sharing a room with his 15 year old stepson was inappropriate with her being 13.

3. I stated Ralph has not seen her or spoken with her on the phone in over a year I think jumping in head first to a weekend is unfair to child .. I think if he got her every Saturday for a month then a weekend would be reasonable


BUt the only way to insure that she was not sleeping in the room with him and that Ralph was not usingh in front of Theresa would be for me to purchase her a cell phone and should either of these things come up that she call me and I pick her up and that would end that weekend period...


that is when he said he would put me in jail .. DH's attorney has accepted taking this on for me but the pretrial is set and with it being this wed. and me getting notice on Friday .. he has said I have to go to this without him as he will be in circit on a big trial and cannot be there ...


so what do I need to expect?

[socrateaser]

>so what do I need to expect?

I don't know civil/criminal procedure in your State. You will need to ask your attorney about the exact process in your jursidiction (I could look it up, but it would take a lot of work).

My advice is that you enter a plea of not guilty to every charge, and to any other question, no matter how innocent, state: "I refuse to answer on the grounds that my testimony may tend to incriminate me."

Then get with your lawyer and explain your case. You shouldn't need to testify, because your letters to the attorney will testify for you. Your attorney can state that in order to defend you, he must examine your opponent's attorney, about the contents of the letters and that attorney's responses to those letters. The judge will probably be forced to stop the trial at that point and Ralph will have to get a different attorney. That should slow things down quite a bit. Anyway, that's how I'd begin.

If the judge allowed opposing counsel to testify immediately, then I'd produce the letters and the responses and ask if your requests were "reasonable?" If he said yes, then I'd ask him how he told you that he would address your concerns on the date that he claims you acted in contempt. If he said that you rejected all of the statements in your letters, then I might want you to testify that this was not what occured. But, if the attorney is honest, and he states that you repeated your requests, and that he had nothing with which to address them, then that would be reasonable doubt, and you're off the hook.

[skye]

Ok one more quick question if you are here before I go to court :

here is the exact wording from my order... Both parties feel and respectfully suggest to the court that it would be in the best interest of the minor child of the parties, namely, theresa*****, for her permanant care and custody be awarded to her mother , with her Father having the right to visit said child at all reasonable times and places.


that is reasonable visitation right?

[socrateaser]

>Ok one more quick question if you are here before I go to
>court :
>
>here is the exact wording from my order... Both parties feel
>and respectfully suggest to the court that it would be in the
>best interest of the minor child of the parties, namely,
>theresa*****, for her permanant care and custody be awarded to
>her mother , with her Father having the right to visit said
>child at all reasonable times and places.


Actually, no. That isn't a custody order. It's a wish. If there is no order stating that you have custody and the other parent has visitation, then you can't be found in contempt, because the court never actually ordered it.

If somewhere else in the document, the court actually orders the parties' requests, then your language would be an order, and that would be reasonable visitation, which is up for grabs as to what that means, exactly.

My opinion remains the same.

[skye]

that is the agreement that was adopted into the order.


The order states:

That the petitioners have, by written agreement filed herin, made complete settlement of thier respective rights and interests concerning custody, care, and maintanance of the minor child of the parties and the court finds affirmatively that the agreement makes adequate provision for the settlement of any and all custody, care and maintanance and all property rights between the parties, and the said agreement is incorporated into the final decree herein.

[socrateaser]

>that is the agreement that was adopted into the order.
>
>
>The order states:
>
>That the petitioners have, by written agreement filed herin,
>made complete settlement of thier respective rights and
>interests concerning custody, care, and maintanance of the
>minor child of the parties and the court finds affirmatively
>that the agreement makes adequate provision for the settlement
>of any and all custody, care and maintanance and all property
>rights between the parties, and the said agreement is
>incorporated into the final decree herein.

OK, so it's reasonable visitation. Now, the question is what's reasonable? That's for the judge to decide. I don't think you can be found in contempt, but I can't guarantee it. You need a lawyer.

[skye]

done I asked DH's attny if he would help me.. and he said not a problem so I do feel better about that

[smtotwo]

ask ex's attorney to have ex get a standing order for drug testing at a clinic near his home or work.

Either right before or right after visits request testing be done.  If it comes back positive then he must pay the cost of the test, go to NA and
have only supervised visits.

If they come back negative then you pay for the test.  Do it on a regular basis. Not just once or twice.

If he wants to see your daughter he'll take the test.  If he doesn't take the test then you can guess he's using.