How to deal with this?

[crayiii]

I had a wonderful visit with my son!!!  There were a few things that happened that I'm not sure how to deal with and could use your advice.

1. At dinner my son announced to us that he had secrets and that "Joey" (wife's bf) told him he would get into trouble if he told.  That's something that no parent wants to hear their child say but I don't know what to do about it.  How can I address this?  Do I send a letter to my wife's attorney?  I don't want it to be something small and my son to get in trouble from his mom for saying anything because then he may never trust me.  There was no indication of any kind of abuse and I really don't want to start some big thing.

2. My son said "Joey" smokes around him.  I doubt the smoking is in the house with my son and I don't want to cause "trouble".

3. When I checked my son in for his return flight the counter agent told me I had to pay $30 as the fee for him traveling alone.  Since the order states: "The mother will purchase an airline ticket for the child to travel accompanied by airline personnel to and from XXXX, Oregon.  The father shall meet the child in XXXX, Oregon and transport the child to and from his place of residence."  I called my wife and let her know that she needed to give the ticket agent a credit card for the fee.

Wife's BF called me and gave me a ton of crap then gave his credit card information.  The airline said they don't allow payment of the fee ($30 each way) for roundtrip.  I would like to ask that on future parenting time, my wife sends the $30 in an envelope for our son's return trip.  Is that okay?

[socrateaser]

>I had a wonderful visit with my son!!!  There were a few
>things that happened that I'm not sure how to deal with and
>could use your advice.

Cool. Happy 4 u.
>
>1. At dinner my son announced to us that he had secrets and
>that "Joey" (wife's bf) told him he would get into trouble if
>he told.  That's something that no parent wants to hear their
>child say but I don't know what to do about it.  How can I
>address this?  Do I send a letter to my wife's attorney?  

Ignore it until the kid is 12 and still has "secrets."

>
>2. My son said "Joey" smokes around him.  I doubt the smoking
>is in the house with my son and I don't want to cause
>"trouble".

More interesting question is "what" exactly is he smoking? Either way, this is something that you shouldn't have to tolerate if it's going on in the home. Don't make a big deal about it, because it will just get back to mommy dearest. Just the next time you have visitation, ask him if Joey ever smokes inside the house, or in the car when you're all driving together.

This is a double-edged sword, however, because if Joey suddenly decides to split, you're ex will be looking to you to pay for everything that she can't anymore (e.g., airfare, etc.).

>
>3. The airline said they don't allow payment of the fee ($30 each way) for roundtrip.  I would like to ask that on future parenting time, my wife sends the $30 in an envelope for our son's return trip.  Is that okay?

Yes, but I seriously doubt that the airline won't take the $60 in advance. That sounds like a bit of the blarney, so check it out, because you may have an easier solution.

[crayiii]

Well, I think I know what one of the secrets is...

I just received a bunch of EOB's from my insurance company.  Since Jan. my wife has been seeing Dr.'s about a pregnancy.

She and I were "together" on July 10...

How do I find out if she' pregnant with my child?

[Kitty C.]

If you were 'together' on July 10, then she would have already had the baby (assuming she got pregnant at that time) in April.  So if you got EOB's for her appts. later than that, it certainly can't be yours.

[crayiii]

The EOB's are from between Dec. and Feb.

[Kitty C.]

Then you might want to be doing some 'investigating'. IMO!

[dipper]

She still wouldnt be pregnant with your child....the child would have been born by now.  and Jan would have been too late for an abortion - she would have been in her sixth month.....

If she is pregnant now, it had to have happened at least a couple of months after you had been with her....

[socrateaser]

>Well, I think I know what one of the secrets is...
>
>I just received a bunch of EOB's from my insurance company.
>Since Jan. my wife has been seeing Dr.'s about a pregnancy.
>
>She and I were "together" on July 10...
>
>How do I find out if she' pregnant with my child?

How bout' asking her. The existence of the child should have been revealed on the divorce petition, unless she believed that the child was not issue of your relationship. I think you would have noticed a second child mentioned in the pleadings, so, it's pretty certain not your child, at least, not in your (ex)wife's mind.

[crayiii]

She just called me to tell me not to worry that she had an emergency appendectomy and they did pregnancy checks before surgery.