Trying to get custody

[g_staiger]

I'm the Step-mom of a 14 year old girl.  My husband (BF) is the NCP.  BM has full custody of my SD.  We all live in Missouri.  

We get 4 separate weeks in the summer (along with standard visitation) with SD and we started our 1st one on the first week of June.  

Toward the end of the week my SD told me her step-father sexually abused her when she was 9.  She said she told her BM about it and her BM didn't believe her and then she told her grandmother (who is now dead) and her grandmother asked BM about it and BM told my SD not to be telling anyone that.  SD said BM asked SF about this and of course he deneyed it.  

5 years later her mom asked her to make a list of the things she didn't like about her (going through teen years i guess) and one of things my SD said she listed was that BM didn't do anything about what SD told her happened when she was 9.  Her moms response was, "Little girls tell lies".  

Also, when my SD was 9 and was at our house she thought she started menstrating (she didn't actually know what was happening, but I told her) and we called to let her mom know and mom later said she found out it is perfectly normal for girls to start their period at age 9.  Months later my SD told me she hadn't ever had another period.  At age 12 she started it for real.

After she told me and I thought on it for a day and a night I called the child abuse hotline.  I do believe my SD that this happened.  She begged me not to tell anyone.  She cried and said she didn't want her mom to go to jail since she knew about it and didn't do anything and she thought her younger brother and sister would go to foster care and that everyone would hate her.

Anyway, CPS asked us to come to there office and sign some paper work and they told us not to return my SD back with her mom until the investigation is final and not to let her talk to her mom on the phone or in person unless she is supervised by her dad or myself.  

They called BM that day and informed her of what was going on and when they told her there we allegations of sexual abuse from my SD, BM didn't even ask what they were!!  CPS worker said that is a huge red flag.  

A couple days later I took my SD in for her interview.  She was interviewed in front of a camera and 3 or 4 people.  It has now been 2 weeks since I called and BM and SF were interviewed 2 days ago and me and BF go in on Tuesday next week for our interviews and they want to talk to my SD again.  

After my SD's interview, the worker told us we should get an attorney and ask for full custody of my SD.  She said that with her being 14 and the circumstances, a judge would probably listen to my SD and award my husband with full custody.

My SD said that if she has to return to her moms and the SF is there she doesn't want to go.  

CPS told me that without a date give or take a week of when this happened, law enforcement probably won't be able to arrest the SF.  My SD thought about it for a while and figured it was June or July of 2000.  There are certain things she remembers like the 4th grade teacher that discussed with the class "menstrating", I think she said they even watched a video.

We don't have the money for an attorney and I was wondering

1.  How difficult this would be to do by ourselves?
2.  How do we get started?

Thanks :)

[socrateaser]

>1.  How difficult this would be to do by ourselves?

Depends on the judge.

>2.  How do we get started?

If I understand your facts, it has only been a few days since your 14 y o SD was intervued by Child Protective Services and she has claimed that her SF abused her 5 years ago. Because of the time that has passed, it is not likely that the DA will prosecute, so obtaining a criminal judgment that you could use as evidence for custody is also unlikely.

However, if the child is willing to appear in family court and testify that she was sexually abused 5 years ago, then you can file an ex-parte emergency motion for protection, and go to the court and probably obtain a temporary order and a restraining order against the mother at the same time.

This is a hyperlink to the form [a href=http://www.courts.mo.gov/osca/index.nsf/a8d3378e877dc92a86256c0f004e0737/8f16265b2b28f28886256c860074e7a0?OpenDocument](CP-40 Petition for Order of Protection)[/a]. Fill it out, take it to the courthouse for the county where the child and custodial parent resides, and ask someone at the civil/family law clerk's desk how you go about getting an emergency hearing for sexual abuse of a child. They will direct you.

[g_staiger]

Actually it was almost 2 weeks ago when she was interviewed by CPS.

I don't think my SD is worried about being sexually abused again by him, but she is worried about how she will be treated if she returns to his home after making these accusations.  

Thank you for the help and I will let you know what happens.

[g_staiger]

We saw the social worker today and we were interviewed.  She said they don't have enough evidence to press charges against my SD's SF.  

As soon as the social worker receives some medical records that the BM says she took my SD to the doctor at age 9 concerning her starting her period she is going to close the case and make us send my SD home to her mom.  

My SD called her mom tonite and asked her if she could live here and her mom said they would talk about it later and kept saying they had all summer to talk about it.  I can't imagine her saying yes.

We are going to do what we can to get an attorney and ask for custody.  If the social worker calls before our attorney can get the ball rolling I guess we will file for the protective order.  My SD is saying she will runaway before going back there.  I don't know what we will do if she has to go back.

1.  Is there a form we could fill out asking for custody while we are waiting to get the money for an attorney?

2.  Or is the protective order our best bet?

[socrateaser]

>1.  Is there a form we could fill out asking for custody while
>we are waiting to get the money for an attorney?

Unfortunately, the child custody forms for MO have not been created by their court system, yet, which means that you'll have to submit your own motion/petition to modify. I'd have to research the civil procedure and I just don't have the time.

>2.  Or is the protective order our best bet?

I think this is worth a try, although you may have no success. However, the only way that you will even have a chance at success is if the child is willing to go with you to court and testify that the abuse occured. Otherwise, you'll be wasting your time.