Vacation

[johnw]

Dear Soc
             My ex and I live in NJ. Divorced 4 years. Share joint custody of our 2 children. We each get 2 weeks vacation. No where in our agreement does it stipulate how far in advance either of us has to give before notifying the other they are taking their vacation with the kids. My ex has told me she will take the next 5 Fri's that the kids are with me, as her remaining time. This coming weekend is my sch weekend to have the kids. She gave me only 5 days notice that she wouldn't be bringing them to me. This is also the weekend my daughter is having her birthday party here with me. My ex knows this. I agreed to 4 of the 5 Fri's my ex asked for, but told her I had plans for this weekend and that she needs to give more advanced notice of vacation time. I believe she is trying to interfere with my daughters birthday party.
What can I do if, and when, she does not show up here on Fri at 6pm as sch?
What should I do to ensure this doesn't happen again in the future?

On a more serious note. My daughter arrived here yesterday with a very serious sunburn. This is not the 1st time this has happened. She tells me mom does not put sunscreen on her. She is very fair skinned, and I am afraid of the damage that can be caused. For her well being I can't let this go on.
What can I do about this? Telling my ex doesn't seem to have an effect.

Sorry so long. Very fustrated with a difficult ex.

[socrateaser]

>What can I do if, and when, she does not show up here on Fri
>at 6pm as sch?

I can't answer without reading the exact text of your custody orders and parenting plan. If you have joint custody and a very flexible plan as you're implying then there's nothing that you can do, because the Sheriff will be unable to act on an ambiguous court order. So, all you could do would be to try to get an emergency order to obtain custody this weekend on grounds that the other parent has stated her intention to not return the child as agreed and thereby spoil the birthday presentation that you have planned. You just don't have a lot of time, and your case isn't exactly one of life or death, so the judge may not be real concerned.

>What should I do to ensure this doesn't happen again in the
>future?

File a motion to clarify the orders so that there's no more flexibility in your orders (or very little). Then you'll both know when you have the child.
>
>On a more serious note. My daughter arrived here yesterday
>with a very serious sunburn. This is not the 1st time this has
>happened. She tells me mom does not put sunscreen on her. She
>is very fair skinned, and I am afraid of the damage that can
>be caused. For her well being I can't let this go on.
>What can I do about this?

Well, first if it was a REALLY serious sunburn you would have taken your child either to the doctor or the emergency room, which is what you should do if you believe that this is a REALLY serious sunburn. You need evidene from an objective medical professional that the child was seriously injured while in the mother's care, if you want to make a case. Right now, it's just your word against moms, and that's not good enough.