Asking for Custody of my Daughter

[g_staiger]

My wife posted on here a month or so ago about my daughter saying she was molested by her step-father.  We hotlined it and DFS had her stay with me until the case was closed.  They didn't have enough evidence to charge him so she went back to her moms.

She lives with her mom and i have visitation.  She is 14 and wants to live with me. We live in Missouri.  I hired an attorney about 3 weeks ago.  

My daughter has been seeing a counselor since a week before she had to return to her moms.  The counselor finally got her mom into counseling today and the my daughter told me the counselor told BM that she should let her live with her dad.

BM was very upset and crying and saying she has raised her for 14 years and it would be like losing apart of herself and the counselor told her that if she didn't allow her to that their relationship would keep deteriorating and then she wouldn't have any kind of relationship with her at all.  

BM also told the counselor that we don't set rules and that my wife (SM) always calls to talk to SD and that I (BF) don't.  My daugher and my wife are very close.  She confided in my wife about the molestation, that is how close they are.  

My daughter wants to talk to my wife, she feels like my wife is the only person that understands her and she is someone she can talk to when she is down. Me and my daughter have never been very close, me and her mom never lived together and her mom has always said bad stuff about me to my daughter. Now that my daughter is older she sees what her mom has done and it's backfiring.

When my daughter was returned back to her moms everything changed.  The step father has started going to church and they have all new rules to follow and they are fixing the house up (painting and stuff).

Anyway, our attorney is taking her sweet time with the paper work, but as of now I go friday to sign to get custody of my daughter.

My daughter has been writing in a journal and it has dissapeared somewhere at her moms.  She thinks her mom got ahold of it.

1.  Do you know if anything my daughter and the counselor has discussed can be brought up in court?

2.  Do you think BM is changing the way they are doing things to try and prove something, like maybe their home is more stable? (we do have rules by the way)

3.  We are asking for child support as well as custody.  I wonder if we should leave out the child support in hope that BM will allow me to have custody and avoid a drawn out trial.

4.  Do you think the journal is important? Should my daughter start a new one?

5.  Should my wife not call there to talk to my daughter? I don't see anything wrong with it.

Thanks.

[socrateaser]

>1.  Do you know if anything my daughter and the counselor has
>discussed can be brought up in court?

Depends on whether your court orders give you access to healthcare records. If so, then yes, if not, then maybe, because you'll have to subpoena the records, and the counselor will object and then you'll have to show that the material is relevant, which it probably is, but if the court refuses to permit you to compel production, then you may have to ask the court to appoint an independent therapist to evaluate the child, so as to get that evaulation into evdidence.

>
>2.  Do you think BM is changing the way they are doing things
>to try and prove something, like maybe their home is more
>stable? (we do have rules by the way)

Don't try to analyze the other person's motives. You have to act in the child's best interests, so if your actions promote an improved environment in the other home, and the result is that you lose your custody bid, then that's the way the cookie crumbles.

>3.  We are asking for child support as well as custody.  I
>wonder if we should leave out the child support in hope that
>BM will allow me to have custody and avoid a drawn out trial.

No. If the other parent wishes to negotiate on the support isssue she can, but the court must determine support based on custody, so there's really no avoiding it.

>
>4.  Do you think the journal is important? Should my daughter
>start a new one?

Duh! But, don't try to manufacture evidence. If the daughter's journal has been stolen, then the daughter knows who stole it and that will just increase her annoyance. Meanwhile, just play the cards you're dealt.

>5.  Should my wife not call there to talk to my daughter? I
>don't see anything wrong with it.

It's a free country, so unless there's a court order preventing your wife from calling, then she can call, unless the other parent refuses to permit it, in which case, you call, and when the child gets on the phone, you hand it to your wife.

[g_staiger]

NM