Is attorney "stone walling"?

[crayiii]

I met with my wife and her attorney on July 14 and we came up with an agreement so we could get things settled.

On 8/9 I sent a fax to the attorney asking for an update and for a small addition to the agreement.  He responded right away saying that the addition sounded fine and that he appreciated my patience since he had some family issues he had been dealing with.  He wrote that he should have everything wrapped up "very soon".

Yesterday my wife told me that her attorney mailed everything out 3 weeks ago to both my old and my new address.  I have not received anything.

I have tried calling the attorney but only get an answering machine that says the mailbox is full.

Is there anything I can/should do?

A second issue that has come up is with my son's last name.  Our last weekend together he told me that he didn't want to change his name but his mom said he had to.  I asked my wife about it and she said that although he would be enrolled in school under my last name, he was going to have her boyfriends last name as his "preferred" name.  Is there anything I can do about this?  Should I just leave it be?

In our current stipulated order it says that we both agree to the future appointment of a GAL.  Now that I am wondering if I will ever hear from the attorney regarding our settlement, I am thinking about requesting the GAL.

Our son is VERY vocal about wanting to see me more and last night on the telephone he told me that his mom took his pictures of me and wouldn't let him call me.  I could hear mom in the background telling him to stop saying that and he replied right back with "I will tell my dad anything I want"

I'm wondering if a GAL would be appropriate in this case.  The settlement (if it ever comes) is very agreeable on my part.

[socrateaser]

>Is there anything I can/should do?
>
Send certified mail to attorney asking what's up and if there's anything that you can do to expedite matters.
>
>A second issue that has come up is with my son's last name.
>Our last weekend together he told me that he didn't want to
>change his name but his mom said he had to.  I asked my wife
>about it and she said that although he would be enrolled in
>school under my last name, he was going to have her boyfriends
>last name as his "preferred" name.  Is there anything I can do
>about this?  Should I just leave it be?

It's unlawful for the child to be enrolled with anything other than his legal name. I don't know what this "preferred" name crap is all about, but if it bothers you, then ask the court for a restraining order enjoining your ex from using an alias on grounds that it causes you emotional distress and is confusing to the child. Your rights should be preferred to a legal stranger such as a boyfriend.

>I'm wondering if a GAL would be appropriate in this case.  The
>settlement (if it ever comes) is very agreeable on my part.

The purpose of a GAL is to assert the child's interests during a custody dispute. If there is no dispute, i.e., your settlement is agreeable, then the court will not appoint a GAL.

[crayiii]

>It's unlawful for the child to be enrolled with anything other
>than his legal name. I don't know what this "preferred" name
>crap is all about, but if it bothers you, then ask the court
>for a restraining order enjoining your ex from using an alias
>on grounds that it causes you emotional distress and is
>confusing to the child. Your rights should be preferred to a
>legal stranger such as a boyfriend.
>

On the enrollment form it asks for First, Last, middle then there is a spot that says "Preferred Name".  My wife entered the boyfriends last name on that line.

[Miller]

I'm not Socrateaser, but our school form also has a line that says "preferred name".  But, it's not for the child's last name.  It's for what they prefer to be called.  For instance, if the child's name is Timothy but he is called Timmy by everyone, then you write "Timmy" in the preferred name spot.  Your ex is going to have the school all confused and thinking that your son is called by a last name.

[DecentDad]

Yes, my school form also has "Preferred name", meaning to specify any nickname for the kid.

It's such a manipulative stretch that it's comical that your ex, Crayii, wants your son's nickname at school to be "Jablonski" or some other random surname.

I almost spit out my water laughing when I read the preceding post.  :)

[socrateaser]

I sort of figured it was for a nickname, but it's good to get immediate comfirmation, from people who have kids actually enrolled in school.

[wysiwyg]

As an employee of 2 diff school districts, this info of a preferred nickname as to the preferable way a child wants to be called, ie James, Jim, etc.  

On another school note, DH's ex was found in contempt and fined for naming her girlfriend (not partner) as the childs parent / guardian on the schools emergency contact information sheets, and when questioned by our attorney on the witness stand asking BM "Does the child not have a father?" BM response - "of course" - attorney "Well then why is the father's name not listed on the forms?"  BM response  "Because it does not say "father"". Attorney "Well then Is Mrs. So&SO the childs parent or guardian"  BM rsponse "no"  Attorney "well who is listed as the first point of contact?" BMresponse - "me" Attorney "well the forms do the forms specify "Mother?"  BM - "no"

[crayiii]

I actually don't mind my wife putting her boyfriend down as a contact.  I live a long ways away and if there is an emergency he could get there much faster than I.

[wysiwyg]

UNderstand and that makes total sense, but even with Dad and I living within 7 miles of the home/school - her contacts are her so called Fiend (remember the parent/guardian thing) and an old woman who has to hire a driver because of her blindness due to age, (80 plus) and losing her facilties, that does not make sense.  Now if my step child is injured and mom can not be contacted (she has been known to drop the child off at school and go out of state without telling anyone) and dad is on the road for work, it would make sense that I would be called since i work within 3 miles of the school, but the GAL already testified that her anger and rage toward me was childish considering the amount of love the child feels for me that the child could sustain harm because of her lack of understanding and rage toward me could perhaps impair the childs needs to be met if an emergency arises.

[wendl]

Crayii your case in is WA right.

I know my son uses his legal name and hyphens my husbands name and goes my by husbands last naem and the school allows it (he dad doesn't object as he doesn't have his dads last name)

A lot of schools in WA let you do this, but the legal name has to be on the records.

However if the other parents voices up about this, they then discontinue the use of it (in my case my son is older and voiced his opinion to me, BUT I discussed it with his father prior to using the two names and this is a stepparent not a boyfriend)

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**