Received the paperwork from wife's att.

[crayiii]

I received the parenting plan, child support order, and dissolution papers from my wife's attorney yesterday.  In mid July he, my wife, and I sat down and came up with a settlement.  The papers came with instructions that I had "15-days to sign and return or the "offer" was off the table."

He also told me on the phone that he was not willing to change anything; it was "take it or leave it"

Almost everything is what we agreed to with the following exceptions:

1.   He left out the "right to first refusal" that we agreed to.
2.   Transportation was supposed to be "receiving parent picks up" and he made it where I have to send my wife money for half a plane ticket. (I was hoping to have the option of the train)  The current order has my wife paying for 100% travel.
3.   For some reason he put the transportation section in the child support order instead of the parenting plan.
4.   He included a "hold harmless" section for debt since he knows I filed for BK.
5.   I was to be allowed to request 1 "extra" weekend per month if I paid all costs.  He included it but stated "as long as there isn't a conflict with the mothers schedule"  We have the same thing in our temp order and she has refused every weekend that I have asked for since the order has been in place.

Are any of these items worth a hassle?  We have a trial date in December that my wife says is not acceptable because she wants to get married before the end of the year.  

I would like to have the "extra" weekends added to the plan as normal parenting time and have the transportation for all times be receiving parent picks up.

How can I address these things without being made to look like I'm being difficult?

[socrateaser]

>Almost everything is what we agreed to with the following
>exceptions:
>
>1.   He left out the "right to first refusal" that we agreed
>to.
>2.   Transportation was supposed to be "receiving parent picks
>up" and he made it where I have to send my wife money for half
>a plane ticket. (I was hoping to have the option of the train)
> The current order has my wife paying for 100% travel.
>3.   For some reason he put the transportation section in the
>child support order instead of the parenting plan.
>4.   He included a "hold harmless" section for debt since he
>knows I filed for BK.
>5.   I was to be allowed to request 1 "extra" weekend per month
>if I paid all costs.  He included it but stated "as long as
>there isn't a conflict with the mothers schedule"  We have the
>same thing in our temp order and she has refused every weekend
>that I have asked for since the order has been in place.
>
>Are any of these items worth a hassle?  

Only you can decide whether or not to accept or reject a particular settlement condition. Everyone is different.

>We have a trial date in December that my wife says is not acceptable >because she wants to get married before the end of the year.  

Many women get extremely anxious about their personal security when they are not married to someone. This would appear to give you some leverage in the negotiations.

>How can I address these things without being made to look like
>I'm being difficult?

You have to decide when to hold and when to fold. I don't know what kind of cards you have. If you think you can do better with a judge, and you have the money to pay for the risk of a trial, then you should stand up for your rights. Otherwise, you may have to give up. My response would read like this (your mileage may vary):

Dear Mr. Attorney:

I am in receipt of your settlement offer of ??/??/????. I have a number of difficulties with the terms and conditions that I will detail below, however, I think it only fair to mention that by your making your offer "non-negotiable," you are effectively rendering it unconscionable and therefore substantially lacking in good faith, and perhaps even unenforceable ("unconscionability" being the combination of (1) terms and conditions unreasonably favorable to one party, and (2) lack of any meaningful opportunity for negotiation).

If you and your client are interested in a good faith settlement on fair and reasonable grounds, then you will seriously consider my suggestions that follow. If you are not, then I wonder why you would expend your client's funds in advancing a settlement that you should have known in advance would be given no serious consideration.

Here are my suggestions for settlement:

1.
2.
3.

I hope we can come to a mutually acceptable agreement on all of this. If you have any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to contact me immediately.

Sincerely,

Smartass

Note: the attorney must keep his/her client reasonably informed as to progress of the case, and that includes providing copies of correspondence, so you can count on your wife reading the part about the attorney wasting her money.

But, don't send this unless you are determined to go to trial, if they call your hand. You are basically telling your opponent to stop playing games, and the attorney may just decide to take the challenge and test your resolve in the courtroom.