My Kids Need ME

[mykidsdad]

How much more do I need to gain custody of my kids, before they are totally screwed up?
Background, we all live in Texas; Have joint managerial custody with BM having domicile.
The BM has stated she wants to give me custody several times," have tapings of her saying so. I have had the papers drawn up, but after doing so she has changed her mind.
Fast Fore ward>>
Over the last three weeks my daughter has gotten in trouble at daycare, first time she bit a kid because the other kid had something she wanted that was on 11-21-05, last Friday she chocked a child and left marks on her neck...
BM picks daughter up at daycare and finds out what had happened, so BM proceeds to grab my daughter by the throat and choke her and asks her how it feels to have it done to her??
I have spoken to the daycare director, which whom it was done it front of, and she said she would write up a statement of what happened in front of her for me.

1.)   Could the actions of BM be considered child abuse??
2.)   Does that constitute grounds enough for change in custody??


P.S. I have other documented facts of things of this nature that she has done...
If need be I can post a lot more things, and facts for you to give a more thorough analysis.

[socrateaser]

>1.)   Could the actions of BM be considered child abuse??

Yes, but if it was so serious, I would have expected the daycare provider to report the incident to child and family services. I also would have expected you to do the same. The longer you wait, the less serious the issue will appear to the authorities.

>2.)   Does that constitute grounds enough for change in
>custody??

It could have gotten you an emergency order, if you had done something immediately. But, the judge will wonder why you didn't act sooner and that will substantially weaken your case. Under the circumstances, your having waited for a week already without doing anything, suggests that you may be contributing to the abuse yourself by doing nothing to stop it.

I'm not saying that you may not have other reasons for waiting, such as not fully understanding how important response time is in influencing a court or law enforcement action. But, I am wondering why you have waited, and so will the judge -- that's not a good way to start.

PS. A statement from the daycare provider is useless without that person's presence in court as a witness.

 

[mykidsdad]

I did not find out about this happening until Sat 10-29-05 about the choking incident, it happened on Fri. 10-28-05. As far as the daycare not thinking it is a big deal, does not surprise me, as they tend to scream at kids also. Also the way that I found out about it is the BM called me and told me what happened, and what she did.

So you are saying that a notorized statement of what happened by the daycare director that witnessed it will do me no good??

As far as why I have not contacted CPS is that I do not want to lose my kids alltogether.. Plus I am not trying to remove thier mother from thier lives, just do not think that they are being taken care of as good as they could be in her care..
I just want my kids to be SAFE and HEALTHY..

[socrateaser]

>I did not find out about this happening until Sat 10-29-05
>about the choking incident, it happened on Fri. 10-28-05. As
>far as the daycare not thinking it is a big deal, does not
>surprise me, as they tend to scream at kids also. Also the way
>that I found out about it is the BM called me and told me what
>happened, and what she did.
>
>So you are saying that a notorized statement of what happened
>by the daycare director that witnessed it will do me no
>good??

The statement is good to submit with the motion, but if I were representing you, I would be going in ex parte for an emergency order, and I would be doing it TODAY, based on your above-stated timing of events. The judge will want to know WHY you do not consider this a sufficient emergency to call the authorities, and the key to all of this is the TESTIMONY of a disinterested witness, such as the daycare provider. The statement is hearsay and the court can refuse to consider it, but if the daycare provider is present at the hearing, then the court can judge the witness' credibility and thereby come to a decision.

If my child were being choked in public, I would be more concerned with the child's safety than with whom the juvenile court might temporarily place the child.

It's more likely that placement would be with you. So, I'm still wondering why you haven't called the authorities -- and so will the judge. This weakens your case substantially.

>
>As far as why I have not contacted CPS is that I do not want
>to lose my kids alltogether.. Plus I am not trying to remove
>thier mother from thier lives, just do not think that they are
>being taken care of as good as they could be in her care..
>I just want my kids to be SAFE and HEALTHY..

Your fears here are unreasonable. If you were reading this post made by someone else, you would be thinking that the poster was hiding something or inflating the facts to make his case seem better, because the poster didn't dial 911 when the event took place.

Try and see it from a completely objective view. The judge doesn't know you and he/she will not just "believe" your story without credible objective evidence. The daycare provider's testimony "is" that evidence.

[Bradley]

I am a Texas father as well and it is tough here in Texas. I agree that things have to be pretty right away when you are talking about injury to a child, the daycare is required to report any suspect of abuse, it is the law, but most, not all don't like to in my opinion, but it is worth a shot to ask them if they have or will call CPS. You can do it online it is very easy. My daughter needs me as well and I have lots of information, emails, documentation etc on my daughters BM and have several lawyers tell me that if there isnt absolute proof of physical abuse or absolute proof of drug or alcohol addiction, we are both kinda out of luck with out a million dollars. I am sorry to sound depressing and all, but this is what I have heard from my lawyer and several others.

[mykidsdad]

Yeah that is exactly what my lawyer told me yesterday also Bradley..