Visits in jail . . . (long sorry)

[hagatha]

Soc,

State is PA, Phila county

Mother involved in relationship with man that physically abused her and is currently in state custody for the assult. His sentence ends in late may and after will be on state probation for 10 yrs. There is a stay away order for the entire 10 yrs.

A RO was issued and that expires early December. Mother will be asking for an extention of the RO for an additional 18 months. Until bio-father was sentenced on the assult charge he violated the RO weekly. Mother filed for contempt but since bio-father was already in jail the court decided not to add more time, but issued another stay away order.

Mother was pregnant at the time of the assult and during the assult bio-father stated his intention of killing the baby.  bio-Father is extreamly possessive and stated, further, mother would not be permitted to allow someone else to raise his child. He didn't succeed in hurting the baby and she is now 11 mths old

Mother became engaged during pregnancy and STBH accepted responsibility for the child and signed acknowledgement of paternity and the BC. Child has his last name.

Yesterday mother rec'd petition for custody/visitation from bio-father. Coincidently, the hearing is scheduled for 1 wk after the RO will expire

Questions

1. How hard would it be to add the baby to the RO? and does a RO trump visitation hearing?

2. Does signing acknowledgement of paternity make STBH the legal father?

3. Can mother and STBH enter into a custody agreement allowing them to have joint physical and legal custody before the december court date?
or
4. Can mother sign custody over to grandmother before court date?

5. Can mother request bio-father is not in same room during hearings?

6. Do I wait to respond to the petition until after the petition to extend the RO?

7. If STBH is removed from BC can I petition to terminate with step-parent adoption before the wedding or must we wait till we are actually married?

8. Would the court order mother to bring child to state pen for visits if bio-father were to actually get visitation? (BTW bio-father has other charges in 2other counties, we are waiting to hear what will happen with these charges. bio-father may be released from state pen into custody of a county jail)

9. Any other suggestions???

The Witch
Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing!!!!!

[socrateaser]

>Questions
>
>1. How hard would it be to add the baby to the RO? and does a
>RO trump visitation hearing?

Waste of time. No RO can stop a determined assailant with a deadly weapon.

>
>2. Does signing acknowledgement of paternity make STBH the
>legal father?

Nope. The natural father has a right to petition for paternity and parental rights. You can attempt to have the court terminate his parental rights (and his corresponding duty of support). If successful, then the father will be a legal stranger to the child, with no rights whatsoever.

Also, in many jurisdictions, for a parental rights termination hearing, a person will be appointed counsel if they cannot afford one, so this can makes things even more difficult.

You have a heavy burden of proving "clearly and convincingly" that the child's best interests will be better served by by terminating the natural father's rights. This is made easier by virtue of an assault conviction against the mother as well as a new stepparent who is willing to step into the shoes of the natural father.

I suggest that you attempt to reason with the father (via legal representation) and show why it is in his and the child's interest to terminate his obligations and rights. After all, if his rights are terminated, he can move on and have a new family with no obligation of child support to the biological child. And, when the child is grown, then he/she will be free to reestablish contact, if desired.

Anyway, that's how I'd approach it.

>
>3. Can mother and STBH enter into a custody agreement allowing
>them to have joint physical and legal custody before the
>december court date?

Nope. Only a court can award legal custody over the objections of a natural parent.

>or
>4. Can mother sign custody over to grandmother before court
>date?

It won't matter.

>
>5. Can mother request bio-father is not in same room during
>hearings?

You can request, but unless the natural father appears to be a present danger, the court won't order it.

>
>6. Do I wait to respond to the petition until after the
>petition to extend the RO?

They are separate issues. The clock is running on your response to this petition -- which I assume is a petition to establish paternity, support, and custody.

>
>7. If STBH is removed from BC can I petition to terminate with
>step-parent adoption before the wedding or must we wait till
>we are actually married?

You can petition for a termination of rights as an affirmative response to the father's petition to establish paternity. You don't have to wait, but being married is definitely a plus in favor of a new legal parent.

>
>8. Would the court order mother to bring child to state pen
>for visits if bio-father were to actually get visitation? (BTW
>bio-father has other charges in 2other counties, we are
>waiting to hear what will happen with these charges.
>bio-father may be released from state pen into custody of a
>county jail)

Doubtful.

>9. Any other suggestions???

Domestic violence is the leading cause of murder in the U.S. Do not permit yourself to be lulled into a sense of security about this, because there is a better than 50% chance that this situation will turn very ugly and dangerous.

I would go to court and ask for new orders preventing the natural father from obtaining any contact info for the mother and child, if you haven't done so already. I would also move to a new residence, get new phone numbers, new job, etc., so as to make it more difficult to be located.

Based on your posted facts, you are dealing with a violent sociopath. The old saying, "The pen is mightier than the sword," reads great in the philosophic musings of a classic novel. In the real world, however, physical force is the ultimate power, and sometimes retreat from a battle is necessary to win an entire war.

I'd be doing whatever was necessary to put mileage between myself and the father, and I'd be doing whatever was necessary to legally terminate his rights and obligations so as to prevent him from ever locating you again.

If your STBH is not prepared to do all of this for you, then I suggest that you and he buy a 12-gauge police riot gun, go to a firing range and learn how to use it, BECAUSE there is a very high probability that one of you will be FORCED to defend yourself with it sometime in the not-to-distant future.

Have I rattled your cage sufficiently. I hope so. This is not a joke. You need to take serious action to protect yourself.