Can CS be ordered if the BM moves and you do not know where??

[Anthony_ill]

Hi Soc (and merry Christmas and happy new year),

You have helped me several ways this past year and I am greatly indebt to your assistance.

This new (or old) problem is just a continuance of the same issue, however with some twists. While I am troubled (emotionally) by what continues I am looking from you what legally I need to either be prepared for or should do in potential someone using the legal system to their advantage.

Divorced (IL) in 2002, 50/50 visitation, no CS, only maintenance (now expired) with two children, now one is 18, the other 16. Have been in court almost monthly for the past three years until Sept, where BM stopped appearing (BM also moved to an unknown location).

Have enlisted the efforts of GAL/Mediation/Counselor(s),lawyers (last year pro se) and even thou BM is mentally unstable, best interests of the children have not been compromised in a way that have threatened the children, according to the courts.

Alienation is a definite (in my mind) but with a BM who has a criminal mindset (details I am with-holding since they do not involve custody/children but would gladly email you if you felt the need to dig a deeper) there isn't anything I can do given the age of the children.

I write them weekly at the prior address (these are forwarded to a post office box in IL) to either reach out, or have a diary of my life when we ever get a chance to be back together. Not sure if they get them, or how long this will be forwarded or even how long the Post office box will be available (say to do lack of payment from BM, or just not picked up).

I have never felt that I have moved on, but continued my life regardless of someone who uses the children to hurt me. I will continue to do things that hopefully will allow the children back into my life once the control is somewhat lifted and they begin to realize the things they were put though (probably more consoling and allot of love and whatever God can provide).

Legally our case for visitation interference/abuse was never closed. Just left after the last two times she stopped coming. Interference was becasue BM just stopped allowing the children to leave when I arrived to pick them up (while in counseling it became clear why). This was the 2nd multiple occurance event, police were alerted, court ect.

While I understand that certain current motions (VI) will expire due to lack of prosecution ect, my question is:
(Question 1) Legally is there any time-table that the BM can wait and then attempt at looking to request new CS or ?? (Again I am not sure legally what else she can do thru the court system). What harm am I doing to my legal stance if I do not push at this time and waiting if she reapears out of no-where.

(Question 2) Should I file for any contempt motions even though she will not respond? (This would be used to support my case if we ever got back in court for some reason) or just let it go (legally).

By realizing the BM won't change (again three years of court is my baseline) and given the fact that no money in the world can affect the way the judge will view this case (quote from Judge "Now I guess you'll have a hard time submitting any additional motions to her won't you") I have sat on my hands for the past 3 months.

While I would love to have a magic wand that would resolve this, given the age of the children, the mentally of court systems, the lack of financial abilities, as well as a BM to have no fear to any of her actions I am left to travel this path.

In addition, by forcing myself into my kids life, I felt that the BM continued to hurt the kids even more; the more I tried to build a relationship with them. the harder I pushed, the more the BM held on tighter and did more to destroy any future relationship. They know where I am, where I live and how I feel about them, and I can't force them to do anything at this time.

So emotionally I have decided what I can do, but legally I need to understand what this does to take this route.

Thanks for always being there for all of us, and providing some light in a otherwise dark situation.

Thru my faith, my network of fathers that continue to struggle with these issues, that they will be back in my life, so I am trying hard not to be vendictive or respond with trying to hurt someone else at the expense of my kids. Not sure what else to do.

Thanks again (and sorry for the lenght of the text).

[Anthony_ill]

Additional information, while I have 50/50 parenting time (never changed) GAL/Consolers have offered up temporary changes to see if this would improve the relationship between BF and children.

At the present time I have not seen/spoken to the children since May/June when they stopped going to court ordered counseling. About 30 days later they moved without any information to where ect.

[socrateaser]

Number your questions and ask them at the bottom of your statement of facts.

[Anthony_ill]

While I understand that certain current motions (VI) will expire due to lack of prosecution ect, my question is:

(Question 1) Legally is there any time-table that the BM can wait and then attempt at looking to request new CS or ?? (Again I am not sure legally what else she can do thru the court system). What harm am I doing to my legal stance if I do not push at this time and waiting if she reapears out of no-where.

(Question 2) Should I file for any contempt motions even though she will not respond? (This would be used to support my case if we ever got back in court for some reason) or just let it go (legally).

(Question 3) Given there is one remaining child (age 16) would the court allow the BM to request back CS (say if this get requested in another year), even though the original order did not indicant any CS at that time due to 50/50 parenting time which is not being allowed since the BM has moved and has withheld the children from seeing there BF.

(Question numbered 1 and 2 were included within the text but not at the bottom,,,, sorry).

[socrateaser]

>(Question 1) Legally is there any time-table that the BM can
>wait and then attempt at looking to request new CS or ??
>(Again I am not sure legally what else she can do thru the
>court system). What harm am I doing to my legal stance if I do
>not push at this time and waiting if she reapears out of
>no-where.

Child support mod is always an option under public policy favoring the child's interest over the parents'. You can argue that the other parent has unclean hands, but the court will overrule your equitable defense and modify support, even though the other parent has interfered with your parenting rights. That's just the way it is, so you need to deal with the reality.

>(Question 2) Should I file for any contempt motions even
>though she will not respond? (This would be used to support my
>case if we ever got back in court for some reason) or just let
>it go (legally).

You can file for contempt, but you must have her personally served. And, since the judge is apparently not real pleased with you, you may have difficulty proving your case. But, it's definitely an option.

>(Question 3) Given there is one remaining child (age 16) would
>the court allow the BM to request back CS (say if this get
>requested in another year), even though the original order did
>not indicant any CS at that time due to 50/50 parenting time
>which is not being allowed since the BM has moved and has
>withheld the children from seeing there BF.

Federal law prohibits retroactive child support prior to the date of filing of the motion or Order to Show cause to modify support. So, if none of your existing motions raise the support issue then you're in good shape. If any of them do raise the issue, then you need to move for an order dismissing those actions, and thereby destroy the court's authority to order retroactive support. Then, if the other parent files to modify, the clock will start again from the new filing date.