Biomom refused exchange today - how to respond?

[DecentDad]

Hi Soc,

In new temporary orders, I'm to pick up child "...from school on every Monday and Wednesday" plus daytime on "alternate weekends."  

This is what judge clearly stated, and it's what OC sent in proposed Orders After Hearing sent to me last week that I signed and returned.

Biomom was present in court when orders were made.

Biomom has evidently been following the new schedule since May 3 with six exchanges, as the new exchange times are different from old schedule.

So, I arrived to pick up child today as biomom was walking out of the classroom with child.

Taken aback, I asked something like, "What's going on?"

Biomom said, "It's not your day.  Why are you here?"

I said, "We have new orders."

She grabbed child's arm, walked away as she said, "You're wrong.  You can only have her on alternate Mondays."

Child looked confused as she left.

Child was with me yesterday, and we had come up with the plans and activities we wanted to do today after school.

I already have a meeting scheduled with the school tomorrow morning (scheduled last week).  I had emailed teacher with new schedule.  Teacher was apologetic today and took me to the principal, who was apologetic.

They said that they don't know what's going on, since I'm the only parent who's asking to meet with them (i.e., biomom hasn't informed the school that child "made a suicide threat" a week ago!).

So, school will have copy of new orders (proposed) tomorrow, which they said they'll enforce.

1.  What's best strategy on using today's action?  Write to GAL to advise that biomom put child through this psychological tug-of-war today and ask for any assistance?  CC biomom's attorney?  Write biomom's attorney?

2.  Given that we've got a long litigation history, I'm not thinking that filing for contempt would be well-received by the court, given that the court has been led to believe the child is in crisis.  Thoughts on that?

[socrateaser]

>1.  What's best strategy on using today's action?  Write to
>GAL to advise that biomom put child through this psychological
>tug-of-war today and ask for any assistance?  CC biomom's
>attorney?  Write biomom's attorney?

Write open letter to both GAL and OC, describing what happend and stating your understanding of the orders and that if either attorney believes you are in error please advise as to their interpretation immediately, as if an episode such as today occurs again during the next 30 days, you will have no choice but to file for contempt.

>2.  Given that we've got a long litigation history, I'm not
>thinking that filing for contempt would be well-received by
>the court, given that the court has been led to believe the
>child is in crisis.  Thoughts on that?

I don't agree. The judge made new orders, and if the mom is violating them, then you need to make it clear that you won't stand for her descretionary deviations.

This all assumes that you can prove what happend beyond reasonable doubt. Personally, I'd be carrying that recorder and telling mom that you're recording her whenever you talk to her. Then you can just send a copy of the next transaction to OC and tell her to get control over her client or you're gonna bring her down.