Getting son in drug treatment when ex says no - joint legal, CA

[United]

Hi Soc,

We have joint legal and joint physical in Ca.  Fifteen year old son has drug and alcohol addiction.  Has been in counseling 6 mo. after overdose in Oct. and ER visit.  I asked his mom (my ex) at that time to allow him to enter a treatment program after his overdose (I would pay), but she refused to "send him away" and would only agree to counseling.  In addition, she told son that "your father wants to send you away" which has alienated him from me and given him cause to act out even more

Yesterday his counselor urged us to enter him into a wilderness program as his addiction is worsening (failed freshman year, continuing drugs and drinking while at moms unsupervised).  Ex refuses.  

In addition she signed him up for drivers training without informing me or his counselor.  Counselor  and I had an agreement with son that he would need to be sober for at least 4 mo. prior.  He is not.  (In my opinion her own alcoholism is causing this denial or refusal to act to protect our son, but that is an opinion.  I can't figure out why she would want him behind the wheel of a car or not getting better if not that).

I was unsuccessful in obtaining more than 50/50 in a custody bid last year.  

1. Do I need to get legal custody so I can get my son in treatment?  Or perhaps just legal custody over this issue?  The counselor has said he will do whatever it takes to help including appearing, if necessary.

2. What would be your advise on how to get some control here so I can protect my son?  (We have a younger son as well, 13, who is starting down this road as well.)

Any help would be very much appreciated Soc.  I am so frustrated.

Thanks.

[socrateaser]

>1. Do I need to get legal custody so I can get my son in
>treatment?  Or perhaps just legal custody over this issue?
>The counselor has said he will do whatever it takes to help
>including appearing, if necessary.

That's what it will take. File a motion for a temporary protection order, have the counselor submit a sworn declaration of facts, and ask the court to order the program in the child's best interests.

Or, call the police and file a cmisdemeanor complaint for drinking under 21 and drug use, against your child, using the conselor's sworn statement, and the criminal justice system will handle the entire thing for you (at considerable expense).

You might want to mention to your ex that her acquiesence to her son's drinking and drugging could be viewed as accomplice liability by the authorities, because she is assisting and abetting her son in the continuance of the commission of a crime. That will get her attention in a hurry, especially if you have proof or an admission from the child that he is regularly using illegal drugs, and his mom is aware of that admission.

Actually, accomplice liabilty requires some affirmative action, so your ex can't be prosecuted. But, it may make her think twice about being uncooperative.