relocation of the child case

[Dez]

Greetings Soc,

Please consider 'substantial change' while reading.

Son is 11 years of age, moved away August 2004, by the CP.

Since my son was moved away, (left coast to right coast)he has struggled in school with his grades and had discipline problems as well, which have resulted with several 'In school suspensions' and at least one 'out of school' suspension. He still hates his school after two years of attendance.

His stepfather does not even like him let alone love him. He treats my son very poorly. My son says the stepdad has a very bad temper and hits walls and slams doors all the time in anger. He broke my son's door off the hinges a while back.

Last year my son was in counseling seeking help with his poor adjustment to the new invironment, and his behaviour problems. He is still depressed and is not getting any help with it.

The CP's new marriage was basically on the rocks 3 months into it with them in marriage counseling at that point. It continues to be in turmoil, creating a very unhappy homelife for my son. Cp actually sleeps in my son's bedroom most of the time the husband is home. They do get some relief when he is traveling for work a few days each week.

My question is:

Would these circumstances and living conditions be considered enough of a substantial change for me to request custody?

If yes, what would be the next step? Thank you.

[socrateaser]

>My question is:
>
>Would these circumstances and living conditions be considered
>enough of a substantial change for me to request custody?

Could be.

>If yes, what would be the next step? Thank you.

Do you have any credible evidence of the abuse? Right now it's just your word against the other parent's. Is there some way you can get the child to a therapist of your choosing in that jurisdiction where he lives now. You need a witness to testify to the child's mental state before you'll have a chance of getting a judge's attention.

If the stepdad were to become violent again and break something, I'd tell the kid to call 911 and tell the dispatcher that he's afraid that his stepdad's gonna hurt him, because he just broke the ____!

That would get a squad car and a report and a visit from child protective services, and then you might have something, especially if the kid were to tell the cps and the sheriff that he's afraid and he doesn't want to live there.

They would probably put the kid into a foster home until they sorted out the mess, and then you could file a motion for a change in custody based on the report.

I'm not suggesting that you invent a problem. I'm suggesting that if what you say is happening routinely, then it is grounds for a custody change -- but you're far away, so the child will have to report it, the next time something happens, because it's damn certain that the mom is too afraid to do anything.

[Dez]

The stepdad has done a bunch of stuff to my boy. His pet move used to be to turn on all the cold water when my son was in the shower as to scald to him...just not enough to permantly injure him, or leave scars.

The mom is just hanging in there for the money. She has apoligized to my son for ever marrying the guy, but is the type that has never worked for a living, just living on child support in the past years. So it's basically a money issue, because she sold her house here and has no place else to go.

She has two daughters from two different dads that are now grown and emancipated. I am the third dad now, and the only source of free income to her besides the new hubby.

Your questions:

"Do you have any credible evidence of the abuse? Right now it's just your word against the other parent's.

Is there some way you can get the child to a therapist of your choosing in that jurisdiction where he lives now."

First question...Recorded phone conversations w/sons consent stating then same.

Second question...no way. I would need the cp's cooperation, and that aint going to happen.

Questions:

#1. Is there an agency in VA that I can contact that would check on and interview my son re these issues that you know of?

#2. Is my sons own testimony to good enough for the courts?

#3. What would it take to have the court of jurisdiction (My county) order his and mom's return to answer to this situation in front of a judge? Especially since the court already granted the move, but no final order yet.

Thanks again Soc, your advice is worth it's weight in gold friend.

[socrateaser]

>Questions:
>
>#1. Is there an agency in VA that I can contact that would
>check on and interview my son re these issues that you know
>of?

You can contact VA CPS: http://www.dss.virginia.gov/family/childabuse.html

>
>#2. Is my sons own testimony to good enough for the courts?

If the recording sounds credible, I'm sure that CPS will investigate.

>
>#3. What would it take to have the court of jurisdiction (My
>county) order his and mom's return to answer to this situation
>in front of a judge? Especially since the court already
>granted the move, but no final order yet.

You can file for new temporary orders and use the recording as evidence, but it must be very credible -- the child needs to sound frighthened and not coerced by you. I can't really judge the weight of this sort of evidence -- you need to contact a local attorney and get an objective opinion.

But, if the child believes he's in danger then he needs to call the hotline, above referenced, and complain, because then you're not in the picture, so you can't be viewed as attempting to manipulate the situtation to your advantage.

And, if VA CPS finds a problem, then you will have credible evidence to have custody reversed.

[Dez]

Thank You!