Lawyer advised to file asap....

[dipper]

Soc,

First let me say that I had honestly hoped for time to find out if son will improve in our home.  Court for two years has been exhausting and highly stressful.

I had written last week about the screaming and cursing my ex did when I picked up my son for custody reversal.  

I wrote ex a letter suggesting that she seek clarification from the court if she feels the order is different from before.  I also stated how I had never had that extra time.  Visitation would stand as I had proposed.

The day she received the letter, she called me during my lunch break on my oldest son's cell phone (we work together).  She screamed over the phone and threatened contempt and told me how she would get this time, etc.  She once again demanded to pick son up from camp tomorrow.  Well, I was willing to be flexible and allow her to have him overnight if she returned him Sunday by 11:00 for his stepsister's birthday party.

She told me absolutely not!  She was going to keep him until 7:00 p.m.  When asked hadnt I always allowed her to have him for family events, she said "Yes, but that is the past!"  

According to ex, this is a whole new ballgame and it's all on her terms - just as the other game was.  

So, the same day she calls me she sends a letter to me.  I got it yesterday - she is blaming ME for son's problems.  I am hard to get along with.

She tells me that the past is the PAST, and the new order says she gets all this time..  She goes on to switch every time I had proposed, and then states, "I will agree to the set schedule this year, but next year I will pick my own dates as YOU WILL NOT control me or tell me when I can or cannot see (son)."

Soc, she admits what she did in the past as far as denying visitaiton, etc...but, according to her, it doesnt matter.    

I called lawyer yesterday and he advised that I go ahead and file a show cause for her cursing me in front of son, which is specifically forbidden in court order.  He said while there we can ask for the clarification of the order.  

I want a step further - I want specific wording to be added to resolve this issue.  I am willing to follow the judges instructions, even if I do not agree with what he says.

I am also filing to have CS dismissed that I owe, and support be reviewed in order that she start supporting son in my care.

I am going to family/friends day at camp and son is coming home with me today.

What are your thoughts on filing show cause/clarification so soon after order entered?


Filing for a clarification first should negate any contempt charges she may file in the mean time, shouldnt it?

[socrateaser]

>What are your thoughts on filing show cause/clarification so
>soon after order entered?

Your ex needs to be in an anger management program. This hostility isn't something that's just surfacing -- it's always been there, which means she's been likely emotionally venting on the boy since forever.

I think you should ask for a restraining order and not let her anywhere near the kid. Obviously, he has all sorts of issues now, and his mom needs to be "encouraged" to get some help for her anger.

>Filing for a clarification first should negate any contempt
>charges she may file in the mean time, shouldnt it?

There is no negating contempt -- it's a criminal charge. If you steal my bike and I steal your lawnmower to get back at you, the state will prosecute us both and we may even share the same cell.

[dipper]

Soc,

My question about the clarification negating contempt...what I meant was that I will abide by judge's rule - I am convinced that as we have done the court order for two years is the way it is intended.  So, while I could just let her keep fussing and threatening, I am taking the step to get this straight in court.  

I am hoping the judge will see that I do NOT want to continue fighting...I want to know the court's intent on this matter.

I also recall that while the judge instructed that the two weeks of school would be considered her visitation time, he did NOT include any comments regarding a third weekend to be taken as well.

Now, as to your statement about anger management - I have noted this in writing to my ex.  Her anger is purely AT ME.... son called her today when I brought him home from camp and she was sweet as honey, saying she knew that he would not be coming to her house this weekend.  This after she sent me the letter stating that she WILL be picking him up.

I did see a counselor today regarding my son.  I did not talk bad about his mother, but did mention that son had not had any alone sessions with former counselor.  The counselor today said that he did not feel that was appropriate and that son would BEGIN with sole sessions.

Soc,
Do I have enough to request a restraining order against ex to keep her away from son (son will be the first to tell you that I am not the one who starts these fights)?

What action would I have to take to initiate this process?

[socrateaser]

>Do I have enough to request a restraining order against ex to
>keep her away from son (son will be the first to tell you that
>I am not the one who starts these fights)?

You wouldn't if I were judge, but maybe your attorney knows this judge better. He should.

>What action would I have to take to initiate this process?

If you can honestly testify that the actions of the other parent frightened your son or yourself, then you can just go to the courthouse and ask the clerk to help you file for a domestic abuse restraining order.

[dipper]

Soc,

First let me say that I had honestly hoped for time to find out if son will improve in our home.  Court for two years has been exhausting and highly stressful.

I had written last week about the screaming and cursing my ex did when I picked up my son for custody reversal.  

I wrote ex a letter suggesting that she seek clarification from the court if she feels the order is different from before.  I also stated how I had never had that extra time.  Visitation would stand as I had proposed.

The day she received the letter, she called me during my lunch break on my oldest son's cell phone (we work together).  She screamed over the phone and threatened contempt and told me how she would get this time, etc.  She once again demanded to pick son up from camp tomorrow.  Well, I was willing to be flexible and allow her to have him overnight if she returned him Sunday by 11:00 for his stepsister's birthday party.

She told me absolutely not!  She was going to keep him until 7:00 p.m.  When asked hadnt I always allowed her to have him for family events, she said "Yes, but that is the past!"  

According to ex, this is a whole new ballgame and it's all on her terms - just as the other game was.  

So, the same day she calls me she sends a letter to me.  I got it yesterday - she is blaming ME for son's problems.  I am hard to get along with.

She tells me that the past is the PAST, and the new order says she gets all this time..  She goes on to switch every time I had proposed, and then states, "I will agree to the set schedule this year, but next year I will pick my own dates as YOU WILL NOT control me or tell me when I can or cannot see (son)."

Soc, she admits what she did in the past as far as denying visitaiton, etc...but, according to her, it doesnt matter.    

I called lawyer yesterday and he advised that I go ahead and file a show cause for her cursing me in front of son, which is specifically forbidden in court order.  He said while there we can ask for the clarification of the order.  

I want a step further - I want specific wording to be added to resolve this issue.  I am willing to follow the judges instructions, even if I do not agree with what he says.

I am also filing to have CS dismissed that I owe, and support be reviewed in order that she start supporting son in my care.

I am going to family/friends day at camp and son is coming home with me today.

What are your thoughts on filing show cause/clarification so soon after order entered?


Filing for a clarification first should negate any contempt charges she may file in the mean time, shouldnt it?

[socrateaser]

>What are your thoughts on filing show cause/clarification so
>soon after order entered?

Your ex needs to be in an anger management program. This hostility isn't something that's just surfacing -- it's always been there, which means she's been likely emotionally venting on the boy since forever.

I think you should ask for a restraining order and not let her anywhere near the kid. Obviously, he has all sorts of issues now, and his mom needs to be "encouraged" to get some help for her anger.

>Filing for a clarification first should negate any contempt
>charges she may file in the mean time, shouldnt it?

There is no negating contempt -- it's a criminal charge. If you steal my bike and I steal your lawnmower to get back at you, the state will prosecute us both and we may even share the same cell.

[dipper]

Soc,

My question about the clarification negating contempt...what I meant was that I will abide by judge's rule - I am convinced that as we have done the court order for two years is the way it is intended.  So, while I could just let her keep fussing and threatening, I am taking the step to get this straight in court.  

I am hoping the judge will see that I do NOT want to continue fighting...I want to know the court's intent on this matter.

I also recall that while the judge instructed that the two weeks of school would be considered her visitation time, he did NOT include any comments regarding a third weekend to be taken as well.

Now, as to your statement about anger management - I have noted this in writing to my ex.  Her anger is purely AT ME.... son called her today when I brought him home from camp and she was sweet as honey, saying she knew that he would not be coming to her house this weekend.  This after she sent me the letter stating that she WILL be picking him up.

I did see a counselor today regarding my son.  I did not talk bad about his mother, but did mention that son had not had any alone sessions with former counselor.  The counselor today said that he did not feel that was appropriate and that son would BEGIN with sole sessions.

Soc,
Do I have enough to request a restraining order against ex to keep her away from son (son will be the first to tell you that I am not the one who starts these fights)?

What action would I have to take to initiate this process?

[socrateaser]

>Do I have enough to request a restraining order against ex to
>keep her away from son (son will be the first to tell you that
>I am not the one who starts these fights)?

You wouldn't if I were judge, but maybe your attorney knows this judge better. He should.

>What action would I have to take to initiate this process?

If you can honestly testify that the actions of the other parent frightened your son or yourself, then you can just go to the courthouse and ask the clerk to help you file for a domestic abuse restraining order.