To sign or not to sign.....

[kachirired]

I am going to court for the first time on Wednesday in VA for custody/visitation, paternity, child support etc.  (I already got the paternity test and thankfully he is my son.)

I have 2 questions:
A) If I am representing myself and I don't get joint/legal/shared parenting then I don't have to sign the judge's order so that I can appeal, correct?  

B) I live more than 100 miles from my son.  I read in the "Father's Emergency Guide to Divorce and Custody" that I can ask for a reduction in child support for travel and long distance call expenses but it didn't say what percent it could be reduced.  Any idea?

Thank you

[socrateaser]

>I am going to court for the first time on Wednesday in VA for
>custody/visitation, paternity, child support etc.  (I already
>got the paternity test and thankfully he is my son.)
>
>I have 2 questions:
>A) If I am representing myself and I don't get
>joint/legal/shared parenting then I don't have to sign the
>judge's order so that I can appeal, correct?  

You only sign if you are stipulating to an agreed order between yourself and the other parent. Otherwise, you may be asked to sign the order approved as to "form," but if it doesn't say you are only approving as to "form," then definitely don't sign it, because otherwise you will be approving it as to "substance," and that would void your appeal rights.

>B) I live more than 100 miles from my son.  I read in the
>"Father's Emergency Guide to Divorce and Custody" that I can
>ask for a reduction in child support for travel and long
>distance call expenses but it didn't say what percent it could
>be reduced.  Any idea?

I have no knowledge of the cited publication, however, if you did not move between the time that you were declared the legal parent and the time of the hearing, then your reasonable argument is that, as you did not cause the additional expense of travel incident to exercise of parenting, then it is fair and just that the court divide the transportation costs between the parents.

Having said this, I don't know enough about the facts of your case to make any further comment. The court may defer any permanent custody and support until an evaluation is conducted, assuming that you have asserted a claim that you be granted it.

Frankly, if you're just walking in blind to a final paternity hearing, then you are gonna get squashed like a bug, and I STRONGLY urge you to get an attorney TODAY!