CS Question - Income to include?

[notnew]

Weird situation. My son is being deployed to Iraq later this week. He has given me a general power of attorney to handle things for him while he is gone. He is married, but separated. My questions are:

State: Utah

Current Order in Place: None - no court filings yet. Separated since January.

Question: I want to send CS to her equal to what the guidelines would call for under the state of Utah since no order is in place. Her and my son have been bickering and I don't want to get in the middle of that. The bickering has been over how much of his income should be included in the calcuations.

I maintain that all of his income should be included. From what I understand, she does also.

He thinks that a portion of his income (LEI I think he called it), is specifically set aside for him and should not be included.

I have never been in the military and don't understand how the pay thing works. I know he gets allottment for clothing, etc. I will have all of the paperwork by the end of the week and want to make sure the kids are taken care of.

Do you know if all income should be included or if there are allowances for income earmarked for a service member exclusively?

Sorry for not having any more details. At this time, this is all the information I have. PS - going to court and/or filing for him is not a viable option. I live 2,000 miles away from the kids and the base he is currently stationed at.

Thanks!

Thanks!

[socrateaser]

>Do you know if all income should be included or if there are
>allowances for income earmarked for a service member
>exclusively?

Not my area of expertise. Your son's JAG department should be able to advise him on whether there is some federal law that excludes a portion of his income from child support.

The better route, in my opionion, is (1) stay out of it, until your son actually asks for your advice/help; (2) See #1 -- there is no #2.

I hope I'm getting through, because I think you're gonna be really sorry if you step into this minefield.

If your son's spouse needs support, then it's up to her to get an order. She may be gambling that your son will be killed in action and she will get the death benefits, whereas, if she files for divorce, then she won't get them.

I realize that this is an extremely cynical look, but it's a possibility that you can't ignore. So if she wants to dance with the devil, then, once again, my STRONG suggestion is that you stay out of it until your son actually asks for your advice/help.

Now, if YOU want to GIFT money to the children, and let their mother do with that money what she wishes, that's entirely your business. Just don't expect this to win you any awards later with your STBX-daughter in law or with your son. If you do, you will be sorely disappointed.

Blood is thicker than water, but money will absorb both and still come out of the laundry green.

[notnew]

Well Soc, I have to tell you that when I see your dry sense of humor in responses to others, it give me a chuckle sometimes. But, boy is it harsh when I'm on the other end of the response.

I don't like being in the middle. He has been paying her $400 per month.  I suppose I should just continue what he has already started. I don't know why they keep dragging their feet on getting court action started and settled. They aren't getting back together, she is with another man and expecting his child.

Well, son has asked for my help by giving me POA and handing over all of his financial stuff for me to pay his bills while he is away. I just didn't know what to do about the CS since there is no order in place.

My son and I haven't agreed on this situation in a lot of instances, and he has been pretty pissed a few times. I don't offer my opinion unless it is asked for. He has learned to not ask I suppose and after a few weeks of silence, he started calling again and he just doesn't mention the matters that I would rather not discuss and I don't ask. He is 21 - he's not as grown up as he thinks he is, but he has the responsibilties of an adult and must handle them.

I'll just continue paying her whatever he has and he can work it out when he gets back.

God knows what her motives are. I am not angry at her and we still have a relatively good relationship. Both know I won't get in the middle and don't relay information/rumors, etc. The kids are what is important to me.

They have had 6 mos. to work out a court order covering CS. He has had the JAG office a phone call away the whole time too. If neither one has acted up until this point, I will just continue what it appears they have already agreed upon. As you said, if she wants it to change, it is up to her to get an order.

Thanks Soc!

[Giggles]

I am not a lawyer nor should my advice be taken as such...having been around these boards for going on 10 years, I've seen many people pay highly for not having court orders, especially when it comes to CS.

It might be more beneficial for your Som if you were to put what he has set aside for CS into an account until such time as a court order is in place.  The BM "could" claim that all monies given prior to a court order were "gifts" and your DS "could" end up owing that which he has already paid.  THen when the court order is established and if there is any arrearage amounts, you simply pay them with the funds in that specific account.

Again...Not legal advice, just something from what I have learned here at SPARC.

Soc...if I am overstepping feel free to delete!

[notnew]

Both of these kids have failed to listen to good advice from me and all other parents/mature family members involved.

I intend to write on the memo line each check "child support for XX month". Whether that covers him or not is not my problem. It's probably better than what he's been doing for himself up until this point.

I am well versed in how arrearages work and that his butt is in a sling over this. I have explained to him how it can work and also told her she needs to get an order in place. I am done talking and so is everyone else. They will learn these lessons the hard way.

As I said earlier, all I am concerned about it that my grandchildren are taken care of. How the court looks at the monies paid while he is away is going to be what the two of them have to deal with sometime in the future.

I also advised son of the other issue upcoming. The child she is expecting is legally his until paternity is established. If she puts off action on that as she has on getting any CS/divorce orders in place, he could be in a heap of trouble!

I just wanted to try to do the right thing and pay the CS that the calculations called for. However, Soc is right in that I should do as little as possible for him while he is gone. So, I believe I will just continue with the arrangement they have in place and let them sort it out on their own later.

Thanks for your input. Kids, they never listen!

[Giggles]

I have even gone back to my parents and apologized for not listening to them when I should have!!

Sigh...live and learn I suppose!