Questions

[Imom]

Soc,

I finally have everything to move forward and file my motion. My original motion was simply for the enforcement of medication while son is with my ex as she refuses to give him his asthma meds.

I have all the medical records from the ped here and the specialist.

Some issues that have come to light are;

The ins. so I have it lined up to where if required I can obtain it at my work...therefore if that issue is addressed I will simply ask that a proper medical/support order be put in place. This is what made the ex have second thoughts of signing an agreement to resolve.

The new claim is that, my ex is having problems obtaining a doctor in her area. We live 10 hours apart and she has 10 weeks in the summer and when he has more then a 3 day weekend off of school. (However in 2002/2003 our son seen a doc there 2x each summer period.)

The ex claims that when she called the doc in my area they told her she did not know what she was talking about, she called to get a referal for a specialist. The medical records here do NOT show that she called for this reason only on another matter:

As for the medical records; I have the ones from the doc our son seen in the ex's area over 2002/2003. The records there do not indicate that our son was being treated for ADHD with meds in my area. They simply state to "try" this med, which was different then the meds he was on.
She told me she has it changed.

Then in 2004 told me that she took him in and her doc had never heard of the meds our son was on in my care. The medical records DO show that she did ask for the meds he is on here BUT that she only called their office and requested it by phone and that it had been a year since they had seen him and thats why they would not give it to him.

This above is why in my motion I am asking that the:

The Petitioner/Mother to be Ordered to administer any and all medications to the minor child as prescribed by a medical care provider during her Physical Custodial/Parenting and Visitations Times.

The Petitioner/Mother to be Ordered not to discontinue, alter or change any medications as prescribed by a medical care provider without the written approval of the prescribing medical care provider.


Then my ex sprung on me of a possible move on her part....she is not required to inform me per co..therefore the last time I had a heck of a time obtaining her address I would like to have that issue addressed with the enforcement motion so I am assuming this now has turned into a motion to to clarify and modify also....

When I filed for a clarification re transportation the judge commented as to how long my title was. I came up with the following but its rather???

AFFIDAVIT AND MOTION FOR MODIFICATION AND CLARIFICATION AND ENFORCEMENT OF PRESCRIBED MEDICATION DURING THE
                                PETITIONER'S PARENTING TIME.


1. Should I shorten the above in anyway at all or leave as is?

2. Is the fact now my ex is claiming she can not obtain a doc in her area going to hurt my case?
   
   a)What about the fact we live 10 hours apart, for what I am asking with regards to

      The Petitioner/Mother to be Ordered not to discontinue, alter or change any medications as prescribed by a medical care provider without the written approval of the prescribing medical care provider.

[socrateaser]

>AFFIDAVIT AND MOTION FOR MODIFICATION AND CLARIFICATION AND
>ENFORCEMENT OF PRESCRIBED MEDICATION DURING THE
>                                PETITIONER'S PARENTING TIME.
>
>
>1. Should I shorten the above in anyway at all or leave as
>is?

Try: AFFIDAVIT AND MOTION FOR CLARIFICATION OF PARENTAL HEALTHCARERESPOSIBILITY


>2. Is the fact now my ex is claiming she can not obtain a doc
>in her area going to hurt my case?

No, and if she uses this, then I would argue that if she cannot find adequate healthcare providers in her locale, and that this is a rationale for not obtaining healthcare,  that this represents a substantial change of circumstanes affecting the child's best interests, and that the court should consider reversing primary custody, so that the child's needs can be adequately provided for.
   
>   a)What about the fact we live 10 hours apart, for what I am
>asking with regards to
>
>      The Petitioner/Mother to be Ordered not to discontinue,
>alter or change any medications as prescribed by a medical
>care provider without the written approval of the prescribing
>medical care provider.

There's nothing wrong with what you're requesting, but the question is why is the other parent refusing. It will be hell for you to enforce this order no matter how you word it, unless the other parent actually cooperates -- so if she won't then that's a reason to reverse custody -- assuming that this medicine is necessary.

[Imom]

>2. Is the fact now my ex is claiming she can not obtain a doc
>in her area going to hurt my case?

No, and if she uses this, then I would argue that if she cannot find adequate healthcare providers in her locale, and that this is a rationale for not obtaining healthcare, that this represents a substantial change of circumstanes affecting the child's best interests, and that the court should consider reversing primary custody, so that the child's needs can be adequately provided for.
_____

I do have primary custody...well, what we have is Joint Legal and Shared Physical. I have Physical one week before the school year until one week following the school year. She has summer Physical (10 weeks) and anytime our child is out longer then a three day weekend. The problem is Summer.

____

> a)What about the fact we live 10 hours apart, for what I am
>asking with regards to
>
> The Petitioner/Mother to be Ordered not to discontinue,
>alter or change any medications as prescribed by a medical
>care provider without the written approval of the prescribing
>medical care provider.

There's nothing wrong with what you're requesting, but the question is why is the other parent refusing. It will be hell for you to enforce this order no matter how you word it, unless the other parent actually cooperates -- so if she won't then that's a reason to reverse custody -- assuming that this medicine is necessary.

____

The mother claims that she is not giving him the meds because I did not take the child to a specialist and that since I had not she was not going to give him meds that could kill him. This request came after 1 year of the diagnoses and her stating she would take him during her summer period of 05. Through out the year he has taken his meds when he is there just not everyday like prescribed. When the supply ran out 2 weeks into her summer period this year she did not take him in for a check up/to obtain a refill.

I have taken him to the specialist like she asked so I have those records and they do state he needs the meds everyday as prescribed even while in her care. Plus the records from his Ped. here whom prescribed the meds and they state that he needs them.

I send enough meds for the shorter visits the summer I only send what I have. I pay for all expenses while the child is here and she pays while he is there. Son is not covered under the state ins. over the summer here......but was/is there. My ex claimed she did have it, then did not and now she does again (she is worried about a support/medical Order). So this may be the factor that needs to be resolved but it will be covered if it needs too.

As for enforceing the Order I am sure your right... Son is 11 and will be 12 in July I don't want to but may have to have him talk to a gal or the judge if he still states his mom wont/didn't give him the meds.

I have further questions...

1. With regards to her claiming she can not obtain a doctor in her area would that be grounds to ask for a reduction of her summer period so that he would have the follow ups/treatments here?

2. >AFFIDAVIT AND MOTION FOR MODIFICATION AND CLARIFICATION AND
>ENFORCEMENT OF PRESCRIBED MEDICATION DURING THE
> PETITIONER'S PARENTING TIME.
>
>
>1. Should I shorten the above in anyway at all or leave as
>is?

Try: AFFIDAVIT AND MOTION FOR CLARIFICATION OF PARENTAL HEALTHCARERESPOSIBILITY

Will this cover the other issue of her moving and my asking for an Order that both parents must keep the other informed of their physical/mailing address and telephone number. That both parents must inform the other immediately of any changes to this information within this same motion?  

3. Just so you know I have no idea what I am doing...I have the medical records plus correspondence between my ex and I that needs to be attached the motion (because of the medical records) I will not be able to staple all of them together. Can I staple the correspondence to the motion and paper clip the records to the motion?

[socrateaser]

>I do have primary custody...well, what we have is Joint Legal
>and Shared Physical. I have Physical one week before the
>school year until one week following the school year. She has
>summer Physical (10 weeks) and anytime our child is out longer
>then a three day weekend. The problem is Summer.

Whoops. Sorry -- silly me.

>I have further questions...
>
>1. With regards to her claiming she can not obtain a doctor in
>her area would that be grounds to ask for a reduction of her
>summer period so that he would have the follow ups/treatments
>here?

I think that they way to handle it is to explain to the judge what the problem is, and then just ask that if the other parent cannot be "persuaded" by the court to administer the meds, that her visitation should be reduced to intervals of no more than ____ days, so as to ensure that the child is not in distress for lack of appropriate medication.

>Try: AFFIDAVIT AND MOTION FOR CLARIFICATION OF PARENTAL
>HEALTHCARERESPOSIBILITY
>
>Will this cover the other issue of her moving and my asking
>for an Order that both parents must keep the other informed of
>their physical/mailing address and telephone number. That both
>parents must inform the other immediately of any changes to
>this information within this same motion?  

AFFIDAVIT AND MOTION FOR CLARIFICATION OF PARENTAL
HEALTHCARE RESPOSIBILITY AND RELATED MATTERS

>
>3. Just so you know I have no idea what I am doing...I have
>the medical records plus correspondence between my ex and I
>that needs to be attached the motion (because of the medical
>records) I will not be able to staple all of them together.
>Can I staple the correspondence to the motion and paper clip
>the records to the motion?

The better approach is to provide a summary of the medical records, and bring the actual records to the hearing. You can attach copies of any important pages that you want the judge to take note of, and/or that may be relevant/referred to in your affidavit. But, there's no need to attatch a book, because the judge won't read it anyway.

[Imom]

>
>3. Just so you know I have no idea what I am doing...I have
>the medical records plus correspondence between my ex and I
>that needs to be attached the motion (because of the medical
>records) I will not be able to staple all of them together.
>Can I staple the correspondence to the motion and paper clip
>the records to the motion?

The better approach is to provide a summary of the medical records, and bring the actual records to the hearing. You can attach copies of any important pages that you want the judge to take note of, and/or that may be relevant/referred to in your affidavit. But, there's no need to attatch a book, because the judge won't read it anyway.


_______

Soc, too funny! A book you mean a noval. Much better better idea!!!!

There may be a chance my ex wont show like this last time (10 hour drive one way and she is not working at this time).  And to explain her actions???

I heard (although I am not putting any value in it) that if she does not show I should ask for sole medical decision making rights.

1. Can I ask for that if she does not show?

2. How do I handle the summer period if she does not show?
   

[socrateaser]

>1. Can I ask for that if she does not show?

You can ask for whatever you want.
>
>2. How do I handle the summer period if she does not show?

The judge will probably appreciate it if you act reasonably regardless of whether the other parent shows up or not. You may get more mileage if you explain that you are not trying to deprive the other parent of time with the child, and that you simply want some enforcement mechanism that gets the medication to the child without a fight.  

[Sunshine1]

I had this very same problem and I was given full medical decision making rights and the other parent was ordered to give all medications that were prescribed by the attending physician.

This took away my Ex's 50 legal "medical" ultimately.  It doesn't come right out and say it but, there is no way he can go around and refuse medications that are already prescribed unless the other parent takes me back to court for each one that they object to.  

There was a whole lot more to the case but the jist of it was that.  The judge also warned that if my ex stopped giving the meds he would shorten the visits so they were administered properly.

This is not unheard of, but hopefully you don't have to get real ugly in the matter like we did.

Good Luck!

[Imom]

I would rather not have to ask for a cut in her time at all. I don't want to come across as not acting in my son's best interest though. I just know the judge will ask me about the length of time my ex has our child over the summer and him getting the care he needs.

I am just trying to figure a way to not stick my foot in my mouth but also act in my son's best interest. I don't want to ignore the fact that my ex stated in her email that she can not find a doctor for a part time PT.  I thought about replying that she is able to bring him here???

Nor do I want to ignore the fact that when she was seeking medical treatment in 2002/2003 the medical records stating the PT was not on any meds when infact he was. She simply did not like the meds I had him on and changed them but did not inform the doc there he was already being treated.

She did/does have the right to change his meds its just that she (lied/fibed) to the doc there and did not provide medical records, therefore I am afraid she will pull this again with the asthma meds. What if the new meds counter react with the meds he is on???


It just does not seem like I have enough to ask for sole medical (which is why I am not asking for it in my motion) although that would be the only way to guarantee the meds are not changed without a doctor fully aware of his medical history.

I am confused thats all!!!!

[Imom]

Thats the problem how to ask without being/seeming vendictive to the Judge?

I would rather not have to ask to take time away but also don't want to come across as not acting in my son's best interest either. My ex has him for 10 weeks during the summer so like soc said enforcing this may be a little hard plus with the past actions of not providing a full medical history to the doctor in her area just cause further problems.

I am sure the judge will ask me several questions with regards to the length of summer and healthcare needs, I just don't know what to say. I was only going to say (if she is there and claims she can not get a doc in her area) that she could always bring him here then as a last resort what soc said about the reducing of time. But what to say if she is not there????

[Sunshine1]

There is no nice way to do this.  First I went with they were ordered to give meds and then we had to go back and I got full decision making ability because Dad didn't like the meds but he never bothered to attend a medical appointments either.  He just flat out took him off while on his time OR reduced the dose.

The judge said if you do not comply, we will limit your time next.  Mainly the SM was altering the meds because she is bi polar and on a few of the same drugs as our son.  She is on a low dose for her moods and our son was on a high dose for seizures.  She was trying to compare apples to oranges and it just didn't work.  Then we asked for the kids not to be left alone in her care for any amount of time, which I won, but not to limit Dad's time at all and we haven't seen him since. (I am leaving out about 4 years worth of history here, this is the cut to the chase version).

What happens now is SM likes to cancel my son's appointments every now and again just for fun and I have now put a stop to that.  Everytime there is a cancellation they must call me to confirm.  Last time they called me was while we were on vacation in Colorado...apparently I had cancelled an appointment while I was away.

Does the mother have a valid reason for not wanting the meds?  BF did not becasue they were the same since 9 months of age and he didn't object until he remarried...you do the math.

You don't sound vindictive to me, it sounds like you have tried to work it out, the next step is to try and have the judge make the mother work it out.

Good Luck, keep us posted!!