Sleeping arrangements

[gas]

Hello Soc,

San Diego County.  50/50 Shared parenting and Custody, well above average on the successful co-parenting scale (conflict non-existent, parenting styles consistent)

We have two boys, ages 6 and 8.  To this day they sleep in Mom's bed every night they are with her and have done so since they were born.  I have asked Mom to finally "cut the cord" and have them sleep in their own beds at her house but to no avail.  She does not see it as a big deal.  Perhaps it isn't but my instinct tells me this isn't healthy for them.

Question:  Is this an example of an area judges typically WON'T get involved and refuse to intercede based on your experience?  Obviously without a court's help I can't change this arrangement in Mom's house.

Thanks for your insight.

[socrateaser]

Invite your ex to a counseling session with a child psychologist and see if you can get an objective therapist to break the tie (and maybe the cord, as well).

If the therapist says, no biggie, then asking a judge will be a waste of time. Otherwise, your ex will know that the weight of evidence will be against her if it goes to court.

I think that your ex's behavior isn't really weird, but it's not exactly normal, either. But, with every passing day, it gets a little weirder.

Approach it like you understand that she thinks it's no biggie, and you're unsure, so you'd really appreciate an objective opinion, and that you'll go with whatever the counselor suggests.

Also, make sure that the counselor is a woman, so your ex can't accuse you of stacking the deck.

[gas]

Thanks for the advice.  I have asked her before if she would be open to discussing this matter with a child psychologist and she refused-since she doesn't see it as a issue.

I could meet with the child psychologist alone to get her opinion.  I guess that's not as optimal as having both of us participating.  Depending on the level of concern (if any) I could then choose to pursue in court.

Question:

  If the child psychologist expresses concern, are these medical professionals usually comfortable documenting in a format(letter?) that I can reference in court?  I'm trying to avoid depositions, 3rd party "live" testimony, etc. in what would be a fairly simple hearing.

[socrateaser]

>Question:
>
>  If the child psychologist expresses concern, are these
>medical professionals usually comfortable documenting in a
>format(letter?) that I can reference in court?  I'm trying to
>avoid depositions, 3rd party "live" testimony, etc. in what
>would be a fairly simple hearing.

You could get a written report from the psychologist and offer it at a preliminary hearing, with the idea of getting the court to order joint counseling, on grounds that you've asked and the mother has refused.

I think you should ask your ex one more time, and just tell her that you'd really like to do this in a cooperative manner, but if she won't agree then you'll go to the counselor yourself, and if the counselor believes that there's an issue, then you'll ask the court to order it. Example:

"Wouldn't it be so much simpler to just have a little joint counseling. Maybe the counselor will tell 'me' that I'm overreacting, and I'll let it go."

[gas]

thank you (nm)