Court Update and Questions

[HelpingHands]

Hi Soc, hope you're enjoying your Holidays.

Just wanted to give you some great news. I retained custody during the appeal trial. After an hour of trying for a settlement prior to court, she refused to compromise on anything, so my attorney said we're going to trial. One that lasted 3+ hours.

Once again in court she fumbled and made herself out really bad, by lying and then telling on herself. Her stories were so full of holes and once dug into- were proven to be lies and inconsistent.

Court ordered that custody of our daughter remain with me in TN and the mother gets visitations and pay child support. Transportation issue is unclear, because my attorney requested 1/2 & 1/2. Her attorney requested I do all the driving, because I chose to live out of state. The GAL said transportation has been on me, but that can change with this order. Anyways, I have to travel back to VA to pick my child up from her mother, following her visitation for Christmas.

I recieved a phone call yesterday(one day after court) from the mother and her new husband(not married a week yet) informing me that HER mother is going to seek Grandparent's rights and ask for every other weekend visitation. Mom and or her new husband(then boyfriend) filed harrassment charges against BM's mom the day before Thanksgiving this year. Grandmother has had no relationship with the child  since August and no phone contact since October. The distance between homes is 465 miles one way.

My questions are:

1. The BM is going to allow our daughter to visit with her mother (without BM being there) while she has her for this Christmas visitation. Should the grandmother keep our daughter and fail to return her,either to her mother or to me, would it be kidnapping, since she is not a parent?

2. Would I file charges against both mom and grandma for interfering with Child Custody and visitations since it's BM's responsibility for our daughter during her visitations?

       2a- Would that be grounds for supervised only visitations if it had to go before a judge again?

3. What rights does the grandma have in pursuing grandparent's rights/ visitation rights? She has more money than sense and would fight me in court for spite. I understand she 'can' motion for visitation rights, but what's the liklihood that would happen with a long distance between homes?

4. Would it be wiser to move jurisdiction to my current state(6 months residency will be end of January), to prevent easy filing of petitions in Va- or let the Virginia court system retain jurisdiction, since they are well aware of the situations and I have an attorney that can not practice out of state?

     4a Mom and her new husband are offering to help me pay counsel to prevent the Grandmother from getting any rights, stating they know she will poison our daughter against both parents, like she's been trying to do all along. My attorney can not represent me and the BM- but in the event it DID go forward, my attorney could use them as witnesses to prevent extraordinary contact, right? I do not want to end the relationship with her grandmother, I just see no reason why BM can not allow her contact while she has HER visitations. BM already gets every extended break from school, the majority of summer and every holiday break from school. There is no room for MORE visitations.

5. The mother resides with her husband, another unrelated male, a female and her husband. If these people remain in the home, during her visitations, isn't that considered a violation of the court order preventing co-habitation?

     5a She admitted in open court that the unrelated male lives there and pays rent. She denied that the other parties lived there during her last visitation. Contempt wasn't brought up for those issues, but if this has to go before the court again- will it be a wise/unwise to bring up the issue that she is cohabitating against orders?

6. Child Support will be based on her SS payments because she lost her ssi when she married her BF (CS=approx $65 month- the lowest it can be) , though she has and does work whenever it's convenient. Can I petition the TN(my state) or the Virginia Child Support Agency to require her last 2 years taxes or do I have to wait until a change occurs first?

I think that's all for now. I am just happy my daughter is not in that hostile environment anymore. The GAL spoke with her just before entering the courtroom and stated the custody will not change.

I appreciate all your hard work on this site and by helping me along the way. I bet you don't realize just how much you are helping families out!

Thank you Socrateaser and have a very Merry Christmas!

[socrateaser]

>My questions are:
>
>1. The BM is going to allow our daughter to visit with her
>mother (without BM being there) while she has her for this
>Christmas visitation. Should the grandmother keep our daughter
>and fail to return her,either to her mother or to me, would it
>be kidnapping, since she is not a parent?

I could be kidnapping, if grandma kept the child. You can just call the police.

>
>2. Would I file charges against both mom and grandma for
>interfering with Child Custody and visitations since it's BM's
>responsibility for our daughter during her visitations?

If the issue comes up, call the police where the mom lives, and let them decide what charges to levy.

>
>       2a- Would that be grounds for supervised only
>visitations if it had to go before a judge again?

Maybe.

>
>3. What rights does the grandma have in pursuing grandparent's
>rights/ visitation rights? She has more money than sense and
>would fight me in court for spite. I understand she 'can'
>motion for visitation rights, but what's the liklihood that
>would happen with a long distance between homes?

Since the mother already has visitatation, and grandma can visit during mom's visitation, I'd say that grandma doesn't have a case. I'd move that the action be dismissed and ask the court to have grandma pay your attorney fees.

I don't think the judge will give grandma's action 10 seconds.

>
>4. Would it be wiser to move jurisdiction to my current
>state(6 months residency will be end of January), to prevent
>easy filing of petitions in Va- or let the Virginia court
>system retain jurisdiction, since they are well aware of the
>situations and I have an attorney that can not practice out of
>state?

If you could, yes, but as long as the other parent lives in VA, the court probably won't grant it. Plus, you need a cause of action arising after your VA action is finished, in order to petition for TN jurisdiction.

>     4a Mom and her new husband are offering to help me pay
>counsel to prevent the Grandmother from getting any rights,
>stating they know she will poison our daughter against both
>parents, like she's been trying to do all along. My attorney
>can not represent me and the BM- but in the event it DID go
>forward, my attorney could use them as witnesses to prevent
>extraordinary contact, right? I do not want to end the
>relationship with her grandmother, I just see no reason why BM
>can not allow her contact while she has HER visitations. BM
>already gets every extended break from school, the majority of
>summer and every holiday break from school. There is no room
>for MORE visitations.

I don't think that this case will ever see the light of day. If it does, your attorney can simply state that no one has refused grandma contact with the child, so there is no injury and therefore, no standing to sue.

If BM were dead, or she refused grandma any opportunity to see the child, that would be different, but I doubt that BM will do his, and

Game over.

>5. The mother resides with her husband, another unrelated
>male, a female and her husband. If these people remain in the
>home, during her visitations, isn't that considered a
>violation of the court order preventing co-habitation?

I don't know. I'd need to read the order again.


>     5a She admitted in open court that the unrelated male
>lives there and pays rent. She denied that the other parties
>lived there during her last visitation. Contempt wasn't
>brought up for those issues, but if this has to go before the
>court again- will it be a wise/unwise to bring up the issue
>that she is cohabitating against orders?

I don't know. The other parent is self-destructing all by herself. You don't need to do much to help.

>
>6. Child Support will be based on her SS payments because she
>lost her ssi when she married her BF (CS=approx $65 month- the
>lowest it can be) , though she has and does work whenever it's
>convenient. Can I petition the TN(my state) or the Virginia
>Child Support Agency to require her last 2 years taxes or do I
>have to wait until a change occurs first?

As long as you deal with the agency, you're prettymuch at their mercy as to what evidence will be produced. If you want tax returns, you'll have to file directly with the VA court for a CS mod.

[HelpingHands]

Merry Christmas!!


When you have time, I have a few follow up questions for ya.

The Co-habitation issue is very important- because BM likes to have men in and out of our daughter's life. Even with being married to another man, she's not one for being monogamus. This unrelated male(and another), was living in the home and present during her T-day visitations, but our daughter never met him prior to that visitation. He currently resides in the home. Unsure if the other male still resides there as well.

I am not trying to find fault and look for trouble. I just want to cover bases, because BM has been very predictable in filing petitions shortly after the New Year, each year while not following the court's orders herself.

1) Is Registering a Foreign Child Custody/Visitation & Support Order in my state the same as requesting jurisdiction- or does that just give TN the right to enforce the child support and visitations in addition to the Virginia Courts?


2) If it allows TN to enforce the order as well, I would assume that registering the foreign order would be the best thing to do with an out of state order retaining jursidiction. Is that correct?

2a Are there any downfalls(legally) to registering it in TN that I should be concerned with?


3) The court order specifically states " There shall be no cohabitation with members of the opposite sex not related by blood or marriage while with the child." Unless that changes in the current Judge's order, would having a ' male roommate(s)'  be in violation of that, during her visitations?

Thank you again for all of your help through this. I just know this is NOT the end of this mess, as much as I wish it were.

[socrateaser]

>1) Is Registering a Foreign Child Custody/Visitation & Support
>Order in my state the same as requesting jurisdiction- or does
>that just give TN the right to enforce the child support and
>visitations in addition to the Virginia Courts?
>

Enforcement only.

>
>2) If it allows TN to enforce the order as well, I would
>assume that registering the foreign order would be the best
>thing to do with an out of state order retaining jursidiction.
>Is that correct?

It only allows TN to enforce the order against persons subject to TN jurisdiction, i.e., you (because you're a resident).

>2a Are there any downfalls(legally) to registering it in TN
>that I should be concerned with?

Registration is intended to enforce against persons residing within the jurisdiction. You're registering to enforce against yourself.

>3) The court order specifically states " There shall be no
>cohabitation with members of the opposite sex not related by
>blood or marriage while with the child." Unless that changes
>in the current Judge's order, would having a ' male
>roommate(s)'  be in violation of that, during her visitations?

Yes, in my opinion, unless the court expressly intended to only restrain intimate relationships. But, it's vague enough to prevent a contempt, without clarification.