Afterschool care

[mattie]

Salutations Soc

Live in NJ have joint custody of 10 year old.At the beginning of last month my ex and I went to court-agreed that my mother would pick up son from school to avoid afercare costs(and mother is retired and wanted to spend more time -However the lawyer agreed to this without judge signing anything-and said would send papers to judge to make this an order

Ex spoke with mother and they agreed that ex would call mother back with all information when she was ready to begin this arrangement

Weeks later I get a letter from ex's lawyer saying she wants money from aftercare to come through child support payments and it is too much of an incovience to go to mothers to pick child up and mother said this was a hassel (complete lie my mother was excited about picking up son and would love to do this).

So she enrolled him one month after agreeing not too-Now she wants money taken out of my check for it

Question** I want to go back to court andhave my mom picking him up made a court order-what do yo think my chances are now that she has already enrolled him in this afterschool program

I's $85 for 2 days-- when my mother would pick him up for nothing

Beleive me I know her intentions are to get the money and take him out as soon as the smoke clears-she's pulled this before

[socrateaser]

>Question** I want to go back to court andhave my mom picking
>him up made a court order-what do yo think my chances are now
>that she has already enrolled him in this afterschool program.

This is what will happen. Attorney will ignore any response letter from you, and file a motion for a modification according to his/her client's demand. You will go to court, and perhaps even bring your mother to testify to her willingness to help, or at least have a statement from her willingness as evidence. The court will respond, that your mother is not a party to the case, and that if you and the other parent cannot agree to use grandmother as an alternate daycare provider, then the court will have no alternative but to allow a commercial daycare provider and impose support charges at fair market value.

In short -- you will lose.

>Beleive me I know her intentions are to get the money and take
>him out as soon as the smoke clears-she's pulled this before

All you can do is file for another support mod as soon as proof appears that the CP has pulled the child from daycare.

[mattie]

I  was given right by the court to get him afterschool till 6 before--but had to stop this school year once his mother moved and his schools changed and he now lives further - couldn't get there in time

How about if I argue my mom will pick him up and this will be part of my parenting time--because I will then meet at her house to see him

[mattie]

Salutations Soc

Live in NJ have joint custody of 10 year old.At the beginning of last month my ex and I went to court-agreed that my mother would pick up son from school to avoid afercare costs(and mother is retired and wanted to spend more time -However the lawyer agreed to this without judge signing anything-and said would send papers to judge to make this an order

Ex spoke with mother and they agreed that ex would call mother back with all information when she was ready to begin this arrangement

Weeks later I get a letter from ex's lawyer saying she wants money from aftercare to come through child support payments and it is too much of an incovience to go to mothers to pick child up and mother said this was a hassel (complete lie my mother was excited about picking up son and would love to do this).

So she enrolled him one month after agreeing not too-Now she wants money taken out of my check for it

Question** I want to go back to court andhave my mom picking him up made a court order-what do yo think my chances are now that she has already enrolled him in this afterschool program

I's $85 for 2 days-- when my mother would pick him up for nothing

Beleive me I know her intentions are to get the money and take him out as soon as the smoke clears-she's pulled this before

[socrateaser]

>Question** I want to go back to court andhave my mom picking
>him up made a court order-what do yo think my chances are now
>that she has already enrolled him in this afterschool program.

This is what will happen. Attorney will ignore any response letter from you, and file a motion for a modification according to his/her client's demand. You will go to court, and perhaps even bring your mother to testify to her willingness to help, or at least have a statement from her willingness as evidence. The court will respond, that your mother is not a party to the case, and that if you and the other parent cannot agree to use grandmother as an alternate daycare provider, then the court will have no alternative but to allow a commercial daycare provider and impose support charges at fair market value.

In short -- you will lose.

>Beleive me I know her intentions are to get the money and take
>him out as soon as the smoke clears-she's pulled this before

All you can do is file for another support mod as soon as proof appears that the CP has pulled the child from daycare.

[mattie]

I  was given right by the court to get him afterschool till 6 before--but had to stop this school year once his mother moved and his schools changed and he now lives further - couldn't get there in time

How about if I argue my mom will pick him up and this will be part of my parenting time--because I will then meet at her house to see him

[socrateaser]

>I  was given right by the court to get him afterschool till 6
>before--but had to stop this school year once his mother moved
>and his schools changed and he now lives further - couldn't
>get there in time
>
>How about if I argue my mom will pick him up and this will be
>part of my parenting time--because I will then meet at her
>house to see him

This isn't a legal argument. It's just an offer in compromise to the other parent. I wouldn't choose that route.

Court orders aren't optional. If you had the right to pick up the kid, then you had the right to object to the move or to obtain different orders to make up for the fact that the other parent moved. If you didn't object, then the first question is how long has it been since the move? If it's been more than 30 days, then you have permitted a new status quo to occur, and you're probably screwed. Otherwise, you could object that the other parent's move has created this cost, so that parent should bear the cost alone.

You could still make this argument, even if it's been more than 30 days. But, the longer the time period, the weaker your argument becomes, because you apparently didn't care about the injury caused by the other parent's move.