What would the chances be?

[greatdad]

Father has sole custody pendente lite and it will be more than a year
 ( that I have raised the children on my own) till final divorce hearing.STBX left and moved to another state a year ago.In an 2nd pendente STBX was ordered to pay CS. Children ( 4 & 7)have flourished in past year while with father. Since  custody is temp until final decree, if STBX tries to make an end run at custody at final
( to get out of paying CS),since over a year will have passed, what "realistic" chance would STBX have,wouldn't  STBX need to  demonstrate substantial change, and wouldn't it  have to be something extraordinary and that would be be in best interest of children  beyond the excellent environment they are currently in, other than she just wants to have them because she has now become settled? Anyone have experience with similar situation in Va ?

[jenjen]

she better have a good excuse for not paying child support and if she hasnt made any attempt to visit the children, i dont know what her reasons would be to change the status quo.

 be very careful the courts are bias when fathers have custody but, it sounds like you dont have anything to worry about.

unless she can prove that the its not in the childrens best interest to continue to reside with you, then you should be awarded primary residence(custody) especially if you can show that the children are doing well and thriving.

[greatdad]

STBX has had EOW visitation , which has been a real hardship on children and I, as it is 650 miles and 11 hrs round trip EOW.The expense of gas alone without any support has been rough. STBX was self employed at 1st hearing when she lost custody and said had 0 income.Then I found out had been working for past 8 months and it took this long to get back to judge who just ordered CS to me. STBX claims is in school so only works less than 15 hrs a week and am pretty sure she will not pay the little it will be. To me it would make no sense to change sole custody as how can someone who hasn't made any decisions in the childrens lives the past year and resides in another state realistically have joint custody, even with me remaining sole physical? This is an STBX that has consistently refused to cooperate or discuss anything including holidays without forcing it to go to attorneys. Doesnt court look at the ability for cooperation?

[Jade]

>STBX has had EOW visitation , which has been a real hardship
>on children and I, as it is 650 miles and 11 hrs round trip
>EOW.The expense of gas alone without any support has been
>rough. STBX was self employed at 1st hearing when she lost
>custody and said had 0 income.Then I found out had been
>working for past 8 months and it took this long to get back to
>judge who just ordered CS to me. STBX claims is in school so
>only works less than 15 hrs a week and am pretty sure she will
>not pay the little it will be. To me it would make no sense to
>change sole custody as how can someone who hasn't made any
>decisions in the childrens lives the past year and resides in
>another state realistically have joint custody, even with me
>remaining sole physical? This is an STBX that has consistently
>refused to cooperate or discuss anything including holidays
>without forcing it to go to attorneys. Doesnt court look at
>the ability for cooperation?

Personally, I don't see a change in custody.  But I do see a change in the visitation plan.  

It will probably go to the long-distance parenting standard visitation.  Which, IMO, is hard on small children.  I would also push for your stbx to bear the brunt of the transportation costs since she was the one who moved away.  

The EOW, with that distance, just isn't good for your kids.  I wish you luck in your court hearing.

[greatdad]

>>STBX has had EOW visitation , which has been a real
>hardship
>>on children and I, as it is 650 miles and 11 hrs round trip
>>EOW.The expense of gas alone without any support has been
>>rough. STBX was self employed at 1st hearing when she lost
>>custody and said had 0 income.Then I found out had been
>>working for past 8 months and it took this long to get back
>to
>>judge who just ordered CS to me. STBX claims is in school so
>>only works less than 15 hrs a week and am pretty sure she
>will
>>not pay the little it will be. To me it would make no sense
>to
>>change sole custody as how can someone who hasn't made any
>>decisions in the childrens lives the past year and resides
>in
>>another state realistically have joint custody, even with me
>>remaining sole physical? This is an STBX that has
>consistently
>>refused to cooperate or discuss anything including holidays
>>without forcing it to go to attorneys. Doesnt court look at
>>the ability for cooperation?
>
>Personally, I don't see a change in custody.  But I do see a
>change in the visitation plan.  
>
>It will probably go to the long-distance parenting standard
>visitation.  Which, IMO, is hard on small children.
  I would like to amend it to once a month to travel the children and STBX could visit locally the 2nd time each month.Dont know if court will accept ?
>also push for your stbx to bear the brunt of the
>transportation costs since she was the one who moved away.  
How do I formulate that  as now she will be ordered to pay CS, but gas costs around 160 a month for the EOW trips right now.

>
>The EOW, with that distance, just isn't good for your kids.  I
>wish you luck in your court hearing.