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still waiting on evaluation report

Started by Rane, Feb 07, 2004, 12:40:30 PM

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Rane

Dear Dr. D,
  As I have posted before we are now waiting on the evaluator to file his report. We saw my sd the Saturday before the evaluation and had birhtday party for her. She seemed very comfortable being with us and the rest of our family. She and her friend put on a dancing/singing show for us. She is 10 now, by the way.

We still have had no contact w/the children since evaluation. Nobody will answer calls or return them when we leave a message. Dh has seen both children from a distance at ss games when they see him they just turn away.

Well now my new problem/concern is today we were (my 3 children and I) walking out of a store and sd &bm were coming in. My kids were excited to see their sister and spoke to her she hid behind her mom and shyly said hello & bm grabbed her by the hand & walked past us. The way sd acted was total opposite from her visit w/us before the evaluation. She really acted scared of something. Do you think she was scared to speak to us in front of bm or could she really be scared of us?

I am soo confused about all of this. I am sure bm was the one pushing the visit before evaluation but sd seemed very happy to be w/us.  Now she won't even speak to any of us!  Please, any advice you can give?

Rane

Dr. D

Dear Rane,

Ouch! I know this must hurt ALL of you.  Sounds like PAS in the making.  Something is going on in this world of hers' . Do you have any visitations scheduled?  SOunds like you need time to undo what is being done.  Sounds like BM of SD feels threatened by your relationship with sd, with your own kids and the whole idea of another family taking her little girl away.  Although, this is difficult, you might best try to "be very nice" to bm.  SOmetimes sugar gets you what you want.  If you cannot do this, try hard to see the situation for what it is.  Address the unhealthy aspects and brace yourself for it.  Dr. D