More on narcissism and the courts, therapists, etc

[MiRoCK]

I've read the entries for the previous questions re NPD.  I found them all very helpful and insightful.  My DH is convinced that both his ex, and her mother, both have this disorder.  However, up until reading about NPD on this and other websites, we didn't have a name to use to describe the behavior.  Now we do.  The next question, is how do we approach this problem with health professionals involved?

Here's a summary of our situation.

Last summer, kids told us that their mom and her boyfriend were hitting and slapping them - for reasons unknown to them.  We took the kids to a psychologist here in Canada where we live.  The dr said that the summer visitation period wasn't long enough to be a proper diagnosis, because there is tremendous tension between the parents, and it is hard to separate all the facts.  This psychologist recommended that we work with a Kids Exchange program in Texas, to help us with family therapy.  She also recommended individual therapy for the eldest child, as the test she ran indicated that he suffers from severe depression and anxiety disorders.

When the kids returned to TExas, we had a tough time getting their mom to take them to the local Kids Exchange to meet the managing director.  In fact, we had a hard time getting a hold of the managing director ourselves. (as did our child psychologist).  One of the reasons why we wanted the managing director personally involved, was because that even though she doesn't have specific training as a child psychologists or psychiatrist, the local courts have a lot of respect for her and her word is gold with the courts.

Well, the ex, who is a true narcissist, pulled her act on the managing director and the managing director turned around and blasted my DH for causing problems for the kids mom (couldn't we see how hard she was trying???).  So, our chance of getting to the bottom of the problem was just shattered.   With her mission accomplished, none of the kids have been to see any mental health professional since., and my eldest SS, 12.5  (who was diagnosed as having depression and anxiety disorders) has been left untreated.  

Now, the eldest SS has begun peeing in his pants, without realizing he has done this until he notices that his pants are wet.  He doesn't pee a night, just during the day.  Ex called my DH and told him about it, saying that it has to be a problem with his kidneys.  My DH agreed that he should be examined by a doctor, but said that he strongly felt it could be related to his depression.  (if is was a physical problem, wouldn't he be wetting the bed at night??)

We've talked to our attorney about preparing a motion to order the EX to take this child to therapy.  However, if the courts become aware that there are documents with the managing director of Kids Exchange, who thinks that my DH is just trying to cause problems, then we run a big risk of having our motion kicked out of court.

I personally think that the reason why the managing director bought into the EX's whole story (without ever having had the benefit of meeting my DH in person, nor hearing his side story), I think that the managing director is the victim of a NPD snowjob!!!  If it is possible for trained psychologists and psychiatrists to be fooled, isn't it possible that a social worker could miss the signs too???

So my questions are this:

1.  If we are successful at getting a motion to order child psychology therapy for at least the eldest child, should we mention to the psychologist involved that we suspect that there may be NPD involved or not?

2.  If a child psychologist or psychiatrist does believe that there could be NPD involved, shouldn't the qualifications of these doctors outweight the opinion of a social worker, who albeit may have a lot of field experience, but doesn't have the training to deal with personality disorders?

Sorry, I didn't expect to go on for so long, but I appreciate your patience.

Thanks

[JenG99]

You need to hire a Lawyer in Texas immediately and thoroughly fill him in in regards to your concerns. In the mean time, have the children in therapy while they are visiting in the summer. I would file to increase visitation immediately as well.  Your DH is entitled to 4-6 weeks in the summer and possibly fall and Spring break as well. He is also entitled to alternating Thanksgiving and Christmas Break (even though Canadians do not celebrate Thanksgiving).

 Your Lawyer will tell you exactly how to proceed. You must find a reputable Lawyer in Texas to seek a psych evaluation on the Mother.

Good Luck to You.

 

[janM]

who's been living in the US almost 10 years, I couldn't resist...
We celebrate Thanksgiving...in October. LOL....just don't tell the CP that.

Where in Canada?

[MiRoCK]

We are in the nation's capital!!!  Spring has finally sprung here!