Welcome to the Moms Without Custody Message Boards

[Dr. Jen]

Thanks to each of you who posted a welcome message to me.  I'm still getting used to manuvering through the mechanics of this website, the message boards, and the facilitation of our Moms Without Custody message board in particular.

I see my role here to be one of supporting each of you in your questions and requests for support from one another.  Each of you is going through your own personal experience, your own journey, and it is important you "own" your experiences and be respected and understood for your experiences.  I also think you'll find there to be others who have had or are having experiences of a similar nature.  These other experiences and awarenesses and lessons learned from these experiences of other mothers (and fathers as well, as we may have some fathers who wish to post to this board) can offer valuable insights, information and guidance to support and assist you along your journey.  I encourage you all to be active participants in your support and exchange of information with one another.

I also see my role here to be one of offering support and guidance to you both in alignment with who you are and what you're experiencing but also, with guidance and support that might bump up against what you may be hoping to hear.  Sometimes it is in the things we don't want to hear that our greatest learnings of awareness occur.  I ask and invite you to share in this space with me, understanding that it is offered to you from a place of awareness, concern, care and support for you across the long years of moments and experiences, not simply throught the shorter moments you are experiencing in this present moment or minute.

To give you a simple snapshot of myself -- I was a noncustodial mother for many years.  I had a split icustody interstate arrangement in which my two sons lived with their dad and my daughter with me.  The kids went back and forth between us twice a year for summer and Christmas visitation.  I'm happy to say that despite the hardships and challenges this parenting arrangment presented, my children are today very close to one another, and very close to both myself and their father, a testament, I believe, to what can occur when one keeps the longer term picture in mind and knows how to creatively and lovingly move through the waters of diovrce, custody and parenting.

In addition to my own divorce and custodial arrangement, I was also a residential and non-residential stepmom.  My children and stepchildren are all in their 20's now, so custody, residency, etc. are no longer issues of daily concern.   I am also a child of divorce as well as been a stepchild.  As you can see, my experience in this area of life is one of experience on both the personal and professional level.  

You can learn more about me by visiting my websites, one of which is  //www.momswithoutcustody.com.

On a housekeeping note, please remember we are all here sharing in our personal experiences and asking for guidance and support.  While we as human beings may be similar in nature and our experiences mirrors of one another, we are still individuals with our own stories, our own experiences, our own needs, wants and desires.  Please be respectful and caring of one another, honor the intention from which a person brings their questions and messages to the board, and respond in the spirit in which you would like to be responded to were it you posting your own request for support.  

Flaming, disrespect, profanity, lack of care, consideration and awareness for the feelings and experiences of others will not be supported or encouraged.  While "spirited conversation" is certainly encouraged and can oftentimes be a springboard to more awareness and change, I ask that you engage in the art of spirited conversation in a way that seeks to express your thoughts, opinions and beliefs while at the same time offers respect and understanding to the other persons engaged in the thread of conversation.

Feel free to bring your questions to me as well as to one another.  Feel free also to email me privately if you have any concerns about the topics and/or content of conversation that appear in this forum.  While the forum is open to everyone and is a place for open communication, I understand too that not everyone will be in agreement with what might be posted.  If anything, learning how to agree to disagree as well as provide unconditional awareness and understanding while at the same time not endorsing and agreeing to that which does not fit with your belief system is a skill we can all benefit from, especially in the manuevering through the waters of separation, divorce, custody and parenting.

Welcome again to each of you.  I'm happy to be here and look forward to being of support and guidance to you.


Warm, supportive loving and care,

Jennifer

Jennifer Isham, LCPC, CS, GM
Email: [email protected]
//www.momswithoutcustody.com

"The way you manage your absence in your child's life is as influential to them as how you manage your presence."

[olanna]

a chance to chat next time you have one.

I hope to hear from you soon.

;)