Hey stk_agn....How about an update?

[MixedBag]

Are you getting the time you're supposed to?

Been a while since you posted....            

[stk_agn]

I'm sorry that it has been so long since my last post.

I HAVE been trying to spend time with my daughter. I DO get the time I am supposed to get with her (by the standard visitation order).

But since July 29th (the last court date) my mother has only allowed one extra visitation day. The only way I could get my daughter was to go pick her up and take her back. (my mother wouldn't do any of the transportation for the extra visit)

My mother either doesn't allow or won't allow my daughter to call me, therefore, I call my daughter every two days.

On every other Thursday I go pick my daughter up, drive 45 minutes back to my house, only to see my daughter leave to go back to my mother 45 minutes later. My mother will not come to my house to pick her up because they don't want to drive this far. So I have to meet them half way. (which is going to stop now, if they can't meet me half way I can't meet them half way. My mother was ordered to provide transportation one way for all weekend visits and Thursday visits.)

We have a 3-hour court date set for Sept 15th where all the evidence and witnesses will be heard. (and my evidence is going to blow hers out of the water!)

On August 13th. I went to pick up my daughter and my mother stood there and called my daughter a "lard ass" in front of me, my son, my other daughter and my niece. (It's not the first time I have heard her call my daughter names like that) If that's not emotional/mental abuse I don't know what is.

I was informed lastnight that my daughter has a meeting for Girl Scouts this Friday at 6:00 (the same time I am supposed to pick her up, my mother will also be at this meeting and I don't want to be where my mother is for a long period of time, if I can help it.) What do I do?

Do I not let her go to the meeting? Do I pick her up late and have to lose time with her? Do I go to the meeting too and have to listen to my mother's s***?  I'm not sure what I need to do. Help! :)

Thanks for your time and advise

[Kitty C.]

I'd go to the meeting, whether your mother is there or not.  If she gets her knickers in a twist about it, SHE will be the only one who looks bad.  Go, be the responsible parent, show the interest in your daughter, get details on upcoming events and even volunteer to help at some of them.  And if Mommy Dearest starts to spout off, watch how quickly EVERYONE will back away from her.  Then after the meeting you can still spend some time with DD and if she has any questions or concerns about what happened, you will have first opportunity to tell her the truth, instead of the garbage that you know MD would fill her head with.

And as long as you handle yourself maturely and professionally, NO ONE will think you are like MD in any way.  If anything, they will pity you and your daughter.  Give people more credit, they can spot stupid people just as easily as we can, LOL!

And in the end, your daughter will love you for it!

[stk_agn]

Through a little investigation I found out that the meeting is actually over at 6:00 (which is good for me)

I also found out that the meeting is at MY sister's house so maybe my mother will act like she has got some sense. (could be wishful thinking though)

Does time always seem to stand still when the well-being of your children are at stake? (meaning upcoming court proceedings)

I have never had to go through something like this before.  I can not stand the waiting and the acting like nothing is wrong when I have to see my mother.

I try to think positive and tell myself that I am going to get my daughter back from her, but sometimes in the back of my mind I don't see it happening.  How can I stop the ping-pong-like game in my head? it is driving me batty.

Got any tips on calming techniques (until the court date)?  I think I need to be angry with my mother the day of the hearing so I won't cave if something goes wrong. (You would have to understand the relationship I USED to have with my mother to see where I would give in to her)

Thanks everyone for taking the time to leave your input and for the support.

[hisliltulip]

Yes, it does seem that life goes in slow motion while going through this kind of crap.

Try not to let this become all-consuming.  It's hard I know, but to keep your sanity, you need to give your brain a break from time to time.

Not sure where your faith lies, but the power of prayer is an awesome thing.

We had the whole church praying for my SS while going through DH's custody battle.

While praying, it gave DH a great peace, knowing that God was in tune to what YSS needed.

There were many things that happened in the process that we can only attribute to God's hand working for SS.

DH now has physical custody.  He went in front of a rural, MN, female judge...  and won custody.

Pray for God's will.  Pray for your child.  Pray WITH someone else (prayer is more powerful when atleast two are praying in agreement).



And keep coming back to Sparc for support!