What's it for? Child support that is.

[NeverGiveUp]

I've searched this site but was unable to find an answer to this question.  My X is not providing my children with the things they need when they are with me.  My kids are telling me they need to go shopping for clothes to keep at my house when they're there.  Isn't that the whole reason I pay my X $1000/month?  Am I really expected to provide clothing for my kids when they're with me as well?  I guess my question is a general, what obligations does the custodial parent have toward providing for the children?  Where is the line drawn?  The court defined my monetary obligation in strict detail.  They forgot to mention what it was for though . . .

[MKx2]

You can search all you want, but you won't find the answer you [em]want[/em].

Child support is for the NCP's financial percentage of the total cost for the CP to house, clothe and feed unemancipated children of the former marriage.  Now one would think with a hunk of money like that (ours was in the same range) that the CP could have packed a few clothes for the kids, that were appropriate for the existing weather when they came over ... but NOOOoooooooo.  Certainly couldn't do THAT!  If they came with any clothes at all, it was usually the stuff they had outgrown, ruined with stains or holes, etc.

Do yourself a favor ... don't get your socks in a knot over this issue.  Most all NCP's have faced this one and they all usually end up doing the same thing, which is:  take the kids to WalMart, K-Mart, a 2nd hand store, or wherever and buy them some clothes to KEEP at your home.  When they get there for visitation, have them change from the clothes they arrived in, into the clothes you have for them at your house.  Wash the "CP" clothes if needed, and when they get ready to go back, have them change back into those.

It isn't fair, I personally don't think it's right, but it's a small battle you will probably not only lose, but will cause you undue grief and stress.  Save it for the big stuff my friend.

I'm sure there will be others who will post the same thing ... the voices of experience (mine has been with my 3 skids ... they NEVER had appropriate clothing with them, if any at all - and it was a battle by DH with his ex that never should have happened LOL - because in the end it never changed).  Sometimes it's better to take the path of least resistance for self-preservation.

[Peanutsdad]

LOL, and on the flip side of the coin,, I used to pack outfits for peanut,, yet never got any back. So, after spending several hundred bux,, I decided, pb could provide her own.

[wendl]

welcome to being an NCP, my dh provides clothing for his children while they are with us too, hmmm and their moms house too.

It actually works out better then the CP can't say, you didn't return this shirt or that shirt bla bla bla.

What we do is, once the kids get to our house they changed their clothes, we put them up so we know EXACTLY what they arrived in, then prior to taking them back to bms we have them change their clothes.

Sucks but its a no win situation, your dammed if you do and dammed if you don't.

Happy Holidays!!!

[ShelbyDelin]

Actually, according to DH's decree he IS supposed to provide clothing for the children when they are with us. Then they are sent back in EVERYTHING they wore here, down to socks and underwear.  And get this, we've been asked NOT to wash their clothes... BM's mom seems to think that we'd ruin the RAGS they are sent in!! I still wash them, though, that's gross. Then she turns around and washes them again.

[hisliltulip]

I'm a CP of one, and SM to two, to top it off, 3 ex's (yay).

I pack clothing for my son when he sees his Daddy.  There was however one time last year that I did not, because I got fed up with sending three outfits, and getting one back.  I gave ex about four warnings that if I did not get clothing back, I would no longer be sending any.

See, he was never in the same place twice...  Either his Sister's, or Parents, or Brother's.  So he was leaving a couple outfits at each, and then demanding that I send more.  After the one time of not sending clothing, he's better about returning atleast 90% of it now.

My two SS's have their own clothing at our house too.  

The oldest wears whatever back and forth unless his Mom or we specifically ask for something (particular shirt for picture, or church, a sweatshirt because all ended up at one house, etc.)

The youngest shows up in rags, so he's immediately changed when he comes over, the clothing goes straight into the wash, and put up until his return the next week.  UNLESS, it's ridiculously too small or girl clothing.  (I refuse to put him back in pink heart sweatpants!)  If that's the case, then he returns to his Mom's in play clothes from our house.

It does get ridiculous, but we just figured out what is the least amount of hassle for each child.

Needless to say, for the reason above and many other's, oldest SS's Mom is our favorite ex!

Hang in there, and try not to get too upset about the clothing.

;-) Beth

[ksswthrt74]

Twice my Ex didn't pack any clothes for the girls to wear because the girls told him I had enough stuff here.. well I didn't.  I documented it..Also told him what it said in the court order about him providing clothing,etc  to me on my weekends. I have since found clothes that I had that they hadn't grown into yet ..and now they have clothes here. Pretty soon they won't need to pack anything unless they want to wear something special from home.

A lot easier on the kids.

ALL they got from me for Christmas was clothes.