Child Support/Termination of Parental Rights

[down hearted]

This is going to sound horrible, it still does to me. But there's some things I am trying to find out. My husband cheated on me I'm staying with him working through it and the mistress is pregnant, she says it's his. I believe her. Okay she was thinking about abortion but doesn't know but has said if she kept this child that she did want child support but didn't want my husband to ever come around her or the child ever again No contact no nothing ever. My husband doesn't want this child obviously wants nothing to do with her now or future or this child to be at all b/c he knows he would lose me. He wanted to know that if he terminated his Parental Rights, so when she gets married later on her husband could adopt this child without hassle b/c will will be in a completely different state soon, would he still be obligated to pay child support to her in Alabama if he terminated his rights. He doesn't wish to maintain contact and has total disinterest in this baby. So does anyone know anythign about this type of situation????? I'm in desperate need of these answers.

Down hearted

[kiddosmom]

oook this is a sad situation.
First off if he turns out to be the father, shame on him for ignoring the child, and shame on you if you are forcing this issue and not allowing a child its father. Period.

now to your ?'s

Yes your husband can give up his rights, he needs to take a paternity test to prove he is the father first.

Even if he gives his rights up, he is still obligated to pay child support untill the child turns 18 or graduates high school wichever comes later, the child emancipates him/ herself, or the child is adopted. It does not matter what the state, though some states go by different cs amounts pretty much all use the same guidlines to your question

[wendl]

1st I think its horrible that he would feel like you would leave him because of this child, and if you would leave him-shame on you,  its not the child fault and this child shouldn't be punished for your husbands ways.

No he wasn't right for doing what he did but it has been done and a child was concieved.

1st he needs to make sure its his, how does your husband know she wasnt sleeping with other men.  He needs to get a paternity test done.

If is found to be the father, usually they will not terminate parental rights unless their is someone to adopt the child. If they do grant that parental rights be terminated then he is still going to be obligated for child support unless this child is adopted.

Every child has the right to know both parents and for those parents to put aside their wrong doings and look for this child, this child was not asked to come into this world and should not be punished because of it.

Good luck

[down hearted]

Ok on my defense here I never told him I would leave him for having something to do with this child, if it is his. He's the one who wants nothing to do this child or her and she's the one who doesn't want him to have anything to with either of them. I personally don't like the situation any of us are in.   The fact of the matter is he doesn't think it's right for her to want child support and then forbid him to see the child. Then there's the fact that either way he can't have anything to do with this child. We're military and will be moving to a totally different time zone soon.  She's been seeing her ex husband again so it could be his for all we know. Who knows at the moment.  He wants to voluntarily relinquish his parental rights but no child support, this woman is never going to tell this child who the father is.  There's the extreme Parental Disinterest and the fact that there's going to be no contact between either of them b/c that's how they want it. I'm just trying to find info for him so he'll know. He assumes I would leave him b/c of the child but I wouldn't and I have told him that.We get a small amount of money enough to live on really and have a newborn child of our own there's no way we could even afford child support for another. I'm about to have a breakdown b/c of all of this mess b/c I just found out about it 2 days ago on my own when I tracked down the mistress who had no idea he was married.

down hearted

[wendl]

Sorry about assuming I just responded to what I read in regards to if you would leave him or not.

OK here it goes, regardless if he termiantes his legal rights he will still be more than likely required to pay child support.  If he wants something to do with this child then AFTER paternity has been established and it proves if he is or is not the father, then he can request thru the courts visitation of the child.  The courts view that some man has to pay for this child. So your best bet is determine if he is the father or not and go from there.  

I feel for you I don't know how I would act if I were put in this situation.

I would contact a few attorneys and seak legal advice as well.

[KAT]

I'm sure this is all new & it hurts. Haven't been there done that (thank heavens) but I have been cheated on by my former husband (yup, he still lives! *LOL*) You didn't name your state, so it's impossible to say if child support will continue if his rights are terminated. But pretty much, if she doesn't agree, it's not going to work anyway. Courts don't like to bastardize children. In some states, he can terminate, she agrees not to ask for support but a few years later she does just that, asking for back support, yadda, yadda. All states are different in this area!!! There is no global answer. You really need to seek the advice of a *FAMILY LAW* attorney in your area. Make a list of questions before you go. Things you might not be considering right now like wills & inheritances. Most lawyers have free or low cost consults. The one thing he will need no matter what is a DNA test. On average, 33% come out negative. Only she really knows. She wouldn't be the first woman to fake a pregnancy or put it on the guy for revenge (especially a married one). Heck she was having an affair with a married man, doesn't make for good moral character now does it?? You made a statement about 2 states being involved? He might want to go to http://www.childsupportguidelines.com/ to find out just how much he's probably going to end up paying and/or figure out which state has the lower guidelines AND when support terminates (!!! some states you have pay until 22!!) just in case a choice in jurisdiction comes into play. Is this woman on welfare? He could also get stuck paying the medical bills to the state......

As for visitation, it can not be forced. He has no obligation to see her or the child again..his only obligation is probably going to be monitary. Set it up for automatic garnishment thru support enforcement that way he only has to deal with them every 3 years or so (depending again on the state) for a review. Perhaps once things settle down, he might wish visitation. This is something that will have to be filed for but can be heard at the same time as support...or later.

Take care of YOU now. This has got to be so very hard!

KAT

[kiddosmom]

I do feel bad for you hon, you are in a terrible situation!
As I posted I said IF, and I am glad that is not the circumstance.
As for your husband,,,, after he takes a paternity test,,, IF it is his child then he will have to pay child support, he did it, he has to pay the consicinses (sp?) doesn't matter who moves where.


Most of the people on this site are doing everything they can to spend even a day with their children,
My DH (darling hubby) went from not being able to see his daughter at all, to having custody, mainly due to this site and getting a wonderful attorney.