Owe child support to 3 states,everytime ex.moves another state jumps in

[ProudPops]

I am asking for help in getting numerous states to stop coming after me for back child support everytime ex. moves,she turns me in to another state agency.
I recently got behind in my child support do to being terminated from my job in May 2003.
I started back to work in Oct.2003.
As of this posting i owed back child support totaling $1500.00.
My ex. has moved 3 times since our divorce in 1997.
The original support order was thru Va.
She moved to N.C.with her boyfriend and my children against my wishes.At which time she turned me into N.C. child support,due to a serious injury i was unable to work for 9 months.I had my Federal Income Tax refund taken for back child support even though i no longer was behind in support.N.C. took my refund for over 3 years.When i contacted them they informed me that i had to notify Va. to contact them (N.C.) to get the money refunded back to me.
I contacted Va. and they informed me that they would notify N.C.As of this posting I never received the refund(s),1998,1999 & 2000.
My ex. then moved to Wash.state in 2000.
This year because i got behind in support........N.C. AGAIN !!! took 900.00 dollars from my Fed.Tax refund,Washington state took 2500.00 dollars from Fed.Tax refund....and THEN.....Va. took over 1000.00 dollars from my State tax refund.
As of this posting i only owed 1500.00 dollars but as you can see ALL THREE states took well over 4000.00 dollars.
Now as a result of this i am unable financily too fly my kids home to spend the summer with me because the refund money was to be used to fly them here.
It has been 9 months since i have seen my sons, and at this time i wiil problably NOT be able to see them until this time NEXT year....2005!!!!
I tried to contact Va. as to why so much money was taken and the person who i talked to was NOT interested in fixing the problem,and wasn"t aware of Wash.state taking noney....and most importantly why N.C. is still taking money from my refunds when my ex.hasn't lived there in over FOUR YEARS !!!!!!!!
All the courts and states CLAIM to do what's BEST for the children........
If this were TRUE they first wouldn't have allowed my ex. to move to N.C.with my children and live with another man WHILE we were STILL MARRIED!!!!!
My ex. finally got married after three years,then took my children to Wash.state against my permission.Moving over 3000 miles away is NOT what's BEST for the children.
And NOW thanks to the 3 states not communicating with each other I have three states taking money that is not owed and because of this my children must face more trama not knowing when they will ever see their FATHER again.
Can someone help shed some light on who i can contact to get this matter straightened out?
Do i write my Congressman,Senator what??????
Thanks for your concern, all i want is to be able to see my kids .....

[KAT]

When you were served with papers for a new child support orders did you not attend the hearings? You should have filed motions to dismissed based on several facts 1. ONLY ONE support order can be opened at one time. 2. VA has and WILL CONTINUE to have exclusive jurisdiction over child support until such time as neither party is living in this state. (that at BOTH of you move out of state). 3. These other states have NO jurisdiction over you (providing that they do not of course for any reason). (Had to do this for Mr. KAT when biotroll moved to NC & tried to get it changed...cause it was a dollar higher, witch.)
YOU NEVER contact these agencies verbally. ALWAYS in writting by certified mail.
You had an obligation here of fixing this matter way before now. I really don't see you obtaining a refund unless you take her back to court & request an offset. The problem now is that since it appears you didn't contest these states from taking jurisdiction, they have & are gonig by their rules.
What a mess...I'll do what I can to help but do answer the question about the hearings.
In addition, in VA, it is required that you and the courts be notified of any move 30 days prior. This would have given you time to file for custody & a temporary restraining order preventing the move. Most of these forms are on line and/or at the local court house. I don't know how long ago this mess started, but ..... you have fight for your rights thru the courts and it's not going to be easy.
KAT

[ProudPops]

Do to the divorce and other health issues i am emotionally and financely bankrupt.I spent well over 30,000.00 dollars fighting for custody and my lawyer dropped me when i no longer could pay him!!!! I only owed him 3000.00 dollars when he gave me the boot.
I had two assualt charges filed against ex.which the court dropped because as the prosecuting attorney stated :I am NOT going to waste the courts time with this nonsense".She is a violent alchoholic and had her mother bank rolling her and eventually i just ran out of money.
When she started to move she only verbally informed me that she was moving(both times).At which time i contacted another lawyer who informed me that do to my history of being late and or behind in child support that the courts would not grant me custody or help me prevent her from moving to other states.Basically that i had NO rights as far as the courts see it because i was a dead beat dad in their eyes.
I had pictures and other evidence showing blood on my face after she dug her nails in my face and witnesses who saw her try to run me over in the drive way when i tried to prevent her from leaving with the kids while she was intoxicated.I called the police and they pulled her over for drunk driving then the officer let her call her boyfriend to come and pick her up!!!!!!When i called the police to find out what happened and how my kids are they informed me that it was none of my business.
When i was notified by N.C. and Wash state that child support was filed i was not able to travel or could i afford the expenses to do so.
At one point early on in our seperation she punched my oldest son in the nose causing bleeding when he was only eight years old.I took him to the local hosp. emergency room where he(son) informed five doctors that Mommy hit him.I then contacted child protective services who informed me that they would not investigate because ex. told them that son's nose was bleeding because he picked it and made it bleed.
I can go on for ever about all the insane actions of my ex. then and still on-going but it's just so unreal most people don't believe me or just don't care.I believe she has a narsissistic personality disorder and suffers from many mental illnesses.Unfortunatly she is very clever and quite good at deceiving people who believe she is very sweet and such a kind person.And as soon as people start to figure her out she pulls up stakes and moves so she can start all over again.As time has passed i now see the pattern of running to stay one step ahead of her fan club.
Again i wonder how much longer i can be strong enough for my children when at every turn the courts and the judicial system have failed me and my kids horribly.
I know that many others have it much worse than i do, and i know quite a few who are much worse off than i but seem to not care about their children or  have just given in or given up with the constant battle.
Thank you so much for your advice and concern.If someday i can ever afford another lawyer then maybe i can clear up some of the injustices done to me and my children via the judicial system.  

[KAT]

There are a million sad stories in the sea of b.s. family court. I'm sure there are some that do not care anymore however you won't find them posting on these boards. True, there are some that have had to give up, but that certainly doesn't mean that they no longer care or have give up the fight to change the system even if they can no longer participate in the lives of their children. If there wasn't stories such as yours, such as mine, such as the other ladies & gentlemen that post here, there wouldn't be a need for SPARC. Someday perhaps, though I doubt in our lifetime, but certainly in that our sons.
That said, who is collecting support? Is it VA? If so then you should immediately send in writting via certified mail a request for an audit of your account. Is VA the only state that is collecting?
You do know that you do not need a lawyer to file papers. VA has a website that has many of the forms on line or you can find them at the court house. You can also file in out of state courts by mail & if the judge gives permission you can appear by phone. DYI isn't an easy task. It takes a ton of research & probably several months (if not years, depending on the filing) in order to present your case the right way, to win before a judge.
VA judges can be very bias. Luckily we got rid of one judge for obvious father bias earlier this year in Virginia Beach. I think that this has made the rest of them sit up & take notice. YEAH JUDGE, you too can be made to step down!
Let me know what I can do to help.
KAT