A vent about CSD....

[oklahoma]

For various reasons, we attempted to have CS modified about 18 months ago--wasn't finalized until exactly a year ago.  CSD did their own thing and decided the amount shouldn't change, we couldn't afford an attorney to appeal, etc. etc.  So we left it there.

My husband is a full-time student.  We live on financial aid and my small income from child care.  So, our CS payments have been very irregular in the past few years.  (Quite frankly, because of our income and our children, our tax return is only about $1200 less than a year of CS--so even IF we paid nothing all year, we wouldn't get TOO far behind.)

We have been trying the past several months to speak with a caseworker about arrears and set something up to begin paying them off, and to avoid other actions by CSD.  We've sent letters, emails, and phone calls and had absolutely no response by the state people or by the county DA who officially does the enforcement.

So, yesterday my husband got a voice message from some new caseworker in the DAs office saying something to the effect of we obviously can't afford the ordered amount, and haven't been making regular payments, would we like to go through the process to have the amount lowered?  What?!?  (State law says you can only ask for a modification every two years, or if there is a significant change of circumstances.)  My husband's theory is that she thinks he is a woman, because his name can go either way.  But, hey, we'll call her back and see what happens!




BTW, I have to add that when we met, my husband was almost obsessive about paying CS.  When he made extra money in his own business, much of it went to his daughters and BM.  Since he has not had visitation in over 2 years now (BMs false accusations), and since BMs attorney costs for the trial to take the children away equaled a whole year of CS, and since BM subsequently tried to raise CS since my husband was not "exercising" visitation, and for many more reasons I am sure many of you also experience, my husband's desire to pay CS has diminished greatly!  He still wants to fulfill his responsibility, but just not with the same vigor and vim, I suppose.

[KAT]

Oh, do call them back, I want to hear this!!! Could it be a new, nicer, more understanding collection agency? Yeah, right...they probably just want to make sure they have your address correct.

You certainly don't have to explain your husband & cs to me.....I feel it is wrong, the entire system is just WRONG. We too went thru the false allegation b.s. & let me tell ya' Okie, those kids are a mess without their father (5 years for SD, 2.5 for SS)...heck, kids..not anymore, we only have 363 days left on support, SD emancipated in May. She preggers so now the entire state can care for her now.....*sigh* And the store that she's suing for slip & fall can contribute as well. Funny how all this came about 2 weeks after she turned 18 eh? Such is life the way biomom & her family lives it...always getting by with OPM (other peoples money).

Post back okay? And *HUGS* it really does end someday..it really does! :)

KAT

[oklahoma]

My husband called caseworker back, and she will be sending out a modification form.  Go figure!  My husband did not share many details of the conversation, so I am guessing it was not a very long discussion.  He had mentioned a work-related injury in Jan 2002 which left him on complete disability for 8 months until he was declared "medically stationary."  (He was released to work, but with certain limitations--in construction that doesn't cut it.)  Caseworker says that should have been enough to change CS order.  That's what we thought 18 months ago.  We'll see what happens....

Currently, my biggest frustration with the "system" is that it is not flexible in any way.  OK--so my husband was injured on the job, on disability, and then a became full-time student.  We waited a full year after the          before we applied for modification, then it took CSD 8 months to do anything, and they kept the same amount as what we paid when my husband was working full-time at $14/hour.  Meanwhile, OUR family has had to cut our bills by more than half.  It was our decision to go back to school, and we have made major changes to make it possible.  If SDs were in our home, they would deal with the changes as well--and be more than adequately provided for.  But since they are in BMs home, we are the ones that suffer more.

My SDs are 10 and 11--the days of dealing with CSD stretch out long before me!!  I'm sure BM will jump all over the modification the day my husband graduates from law school.  But who knows, maybe SDs will want to live with Daddy then....

[joni]

when you get that form, scan it and email it to Waylon so he can post it for access for other people living in OK who are on this board.  

His email is [email protected]

[KAT]

By chance is he planning on going into family law? :)

You know she's going to jump on it when he graduates. Our biohag had SS for the weekend (before she had custody). Mr. KAT asked her to switch a day so that SS could attend his graduation. NOPE, she said they had plans & she wanted him an EXTRA day. On the extra day that he didn't have to give her,  she took SS to a lawyer to file for custody....we got the papers 2 days later. Sweet eh? Soulless witch it's going to come around to get her when she meets her maker.

Think of it this way Kiddo, they aren't 2 & 3 right? Yeah, it could be worse. In 8 years you'll be done & all the money you & your husband makes is gravy. He will have a choice to voluntarily support his then adult children if he wishes. And you are right. If the kids lived with you they would be cutting back as he went to school as well. It's not fair that the NCP isn't given an option but it's perfectly okay for the CP to not provide a dime in financial support for the children....something is really wrong with this picture.

Also, since he's probably going to have student loans you might want to (if you haven't already) check your states family code to see if they allow an offset of the loans when it comes to child support determination.  They do here in VA.

Let us know how it goes!! I'll be waiting for your update!!

KAT

[oklahoma]

We are actually in Oregon.  I know the name is confusing--I lived in Oklahoma for a few years and LOVED it!!  

BTW, Oregon plays Oklahoma today in Norman.  Go Ducks!  Go Sooners!

[oklahoma]

My husband has considered family law, hasn't made definite plans yet.  We often discuss his doing pro bono work in family law--for dads who are in the position we are in now....  His ex wife was a bit taken back when he said he was going to do family law--he would just wipe out her attorney and the ex knows it.  A big factor in deciding to go to law school was that we had some really crappy attorneys (not just family law) and my husband simply said, "I can do better than that."  And he will!

As for requesting the modification, I think we will still wait a few weeks until we get standard visitation back.  That alone should drop CS considerably.  Our state has new CS laws, which include parenting time percentages in the calculations; they were enacted shortly after my husband lost his parenting time.  Then we will wait for CSD to do their thing.  It's all a big guessing game.  But I will surely let you know what comes of it.