What would our chances be????

[mom2boys]

My husband has a son who is 18 and turning 19 this summer. He will graduate from high school in June. He has a full time job when he graduates and does not plan on going on to college. According to the great state of NY my husband has to pay support until he is 21 years old. While we don't mind paying support for his son, he moved out of his mother's home in July of 2004. And has not been benefited from his support. The mother has given no money to the family he is living with. My husband called Support Collection Unit in our area to ask a few questions. They told us that we could get the payments changed and sent to the son. They also told him support would even continue if he gets married, is this right????I asked that question here and someone told me it would be considered a gift. And we would still owe the custodial parent too. So which is it? Also my husband went to a new job in 2002 and makes more in wage than when they went to court. She indicated in a letter to us a while ago, that she did not want an increase of support, but wanted us to help out with small bills, school clothes, supplies, lunch money, etc. What is considered reasonable??? We got a bill from her for graduation announcements and for a class ring and senior pictures. Also, what if she sends us a bill for help with his graduation party, I think this is a little much. We have not seen the son in almost a year, and not by our choice, we call all the time and calls go unanswered, we run into him and ask him to come for dinner, and it never happens. I feel bad about that but we have done everything to try and make him feel a part of this family and he doesn't want to be.

If we went to a lawyer to ask the liklihood of getting support done legally, meaning the actual 17% of his income, could she still nickel and dime him? My big question is insurance. If the son goes to this job and it does not have insurance coverage, is that still up to us to pay 52% of the premiums. For according to my husband's support order it says nothing about paying premiums when the child cannot be covered under the mothers insurance any longer. His support order states he is to pay 52% of all uninsured medical, dental, eye, ortho, etc. Does this mean if he does get insurance, is he still obligated to pay that 52% to his son?????

We will be consulting a local lawyer, but wanted to field the questions here first.

Thanks,

[ocean]

You can ask the court to emacipate him if he is living on his own and not going to school. In our NY papers, it states that child support will end at 21 (22 if still going to college), gets MARRIED even if marraige does not last, living on their own with full time job, and death of child. DO you have that in your papers? The 17% covers all that little stuff unless otherwise agreed upon. How is she going to court and asking for more money if he does not live with her??? You can go to CSE and talk to someone. They will help you file the correct papers and then go to court to change it. I actually had a good experience with them. If you have the money, hire a lawyer to do it. Good luck!

[KAT]

I agree. file to emancipate him. He makes his own living, not enrolled in college, refuses to live with either parent .. I believe in NY is enough. Anything else you do for the adult will be voluntary. NY law is stupid. Fight to change it even though it won't help your case now it will help future generations.
Let us know what the lawyer has to say. Forget support services, they'll have you paying until the kid collects social security!!! *snort*
:)
KAT

[KAT]

Sounds like you'll be able to emancipate. This was posted on another board:
http://www.empirestatecoalition.org/emanc.html

Good luck & please let us know how it turns out!

KAT