Not so Merry Christmas....

[Bolivar]

My ex with held my son for weeks.  I had to go to court to see my son.

She got a slap on the wrist.

I will say she has not pulled that stunt since.

[cathy]

for so many reasons.

I know the system can be biased and I know a lot of fathers have been screwed.  But what this man did was just STUPID.  He has already had complaints made for DV (regardless or whether they are true or not).  Now, what has his behavior done?  It has simply futhered the belief that he is a violent person.

Yes, fathers get treated unfairly everyday.  Yes, chances are good that perhaps this man was unfairly treated concerning his kids as well (or he may truly be a violent asshole, who knows?)   But did his actions further his cause? Hell no - he will probably be lucky to get supervised visits with his kids.

Oh - and what was the deal with the damaged hotel room????/

Anyway - I guess the first thing that hit me was - - - just because we know fathers that have been screwed, we shouldn't assume everytime we see something like this that the father is being screwed and treated badly.  Maybe he is a violent asshole (there are some out there!).

The other thing that hit me was - no matter how unfair and screwed, this type of behaviour doesn't seem to be the way to fix it at all.  It just gives fuel to the fire for the exwife to say "See?  I told you he was a lousy scumbag".  And now, by running from the police - ABANDONING his kids - he has pretty much said "Yeah, I am".

Unfortunately, as unfair as it may be, if someone says you are a scumbag, you have to work twice as hard to prove them WRONG.   And that sure isn't done by acting like a scumbag!

[smtotwo]

Nope still no kids, and now we're waiting for attorney to call back,  the felony may only apply to NCP, may be that, that door only swings one way!!

How frustrating!!

[Stepmom0418]

Your DH should still be able to hold her in contempt!! Sooner or later the courts have to do something when NCP's keep filing contempt!

My heart goes out to you and your family! Good Luck and keep us posted! Hopefully you will have better luck hearing from an attorney than we are!!

[olanna]

The size of most women and the lack of upper body strength makes it easier for them to be subdued when resisting arrest.  I don't hear of too many women resisting arrest, hence you won't hear of too many of them being tasered into submission.

Many years ago at a FL airport, I saw a woman running from the police and when they caught her they tasered her. But not her bf..he walked up peacefully.

[MYSONSDAD]

http://www.rockymountainnews.com/drmn/news_columnists/article/0,1299,DRMN

Johnson: Custody disputes can boil over during holidays

December 31, 2004

pictureIt is the story, among the dozens that floated past during my
absence, which still sticks. There are two other, quite similar ones
waiting for me on voice mail.

If I at all dread this time of year, it is because of stories such as
those and David A. Scott's. The season always reminds that married adult
people can be so cruel. And in their foolishness, they completely blind
themselves to what their children need.

Advertisement

We should, though, stick mostly with the story of David A. Scott. You
likely remember him. He is the Colorado Springs lawyer who last week
triggered an Amber Alert for his two daughters, ages 4 and 2.

The 41-year-old failed to return the girls to their mother and his
estranged wife, Elizabeth, on Christmas Day, as scheduled. Shortly after 1
a.m. Sunday, she called the cops, and the alert was issued.

This is where the story gets really sad: A man eating at a Brighton
restaurant around noon on Sunday recognized David Scott's car as the one
described in the alert. David Scott was inside, eating lunch with the two
girls. When the cops arrived, he darted out and led them on a short chase.
His two young girls were traumatized, crying their eyes out as customers
took them inside while police chased their dad.

I have listened to and reported enough of these stories to immediately
know David and Elizabeth Scott were in the midst of a really nasty
divorce. Trust me, nasty divorces are always the trigger for these holiday
season tragedies.

If you guessed there was a flurry of legal maneuvers preceding it all, you
would be correct. Elizabeth Scott days earlier got a judge to order that
David Scott have no contact with the girls.

Yes, he had bailed out only days earlier on domestic violence, harassment
and false imprisonment charges that Elizabeth Scott had brought.

Their separation on July 19 was followed by accusations of her drug use,
his yelling and screaming at her, his hitting her and pretty much taking
their bedroom apart.

Classic stuff. All of which was destined to come to a head when Christmas
arrived.

"The stories I could tell. It happens every year at this time, and it is
so heartbreaking," said Brett W. Martin, a Westminster family law attorney
who specializes in divorce and father's rights issues. He had just
completed a week of getting fathers who had been denied Christmas
visitation with their children out of jail. They all were men caught up in
custody disputes or divorces that are not yet settled.

"It is the most difficult time of the year to do what I do," Brett Martin
said.

He tells the story of his latest case, of a soldier recently separated
from his wife. They, too, have two young children. She has custody. He
simply, he said, wanted to say hello to the kids on Christmas Day. So the
soldier called his former home. His wife refused to answer the phone. He
called throughout the day without getting an answer.

"I spent the better part of a day talking to him, assuring him that things
would be OK," Brett Martin said. And they were. The soldier got visitation
time with his kids a couple of days later, he said.

The outcome is not always so rosy. A different client, refused Christmas
visitation by his wife, ran with his kids, setting out for the East Coast.
The cops nabbed him in Missouri.

The reason such stories occur, why Amber Alerts are issued, is the holiday
season, Brett Martin said.

"It is the time of year when you can really get at your spouse," he said.
"Generally speaking, people in these situations become incredibly selfish,
and think only about themselves and not about the children. One is trying
to control the other, to deny them what truly matters. And things go
haywire."

What David Scott did was incredibly irresponsible, if not stupid, Brett
Martin said. He has only compounded his problems.

"I always tell guys, 'You've got choices, that the best choice is to take
a big timeout, to think of alternatives. Rather than strong-arm your way
in, we can file a motion to modify visitation or custody based on her
actions,' " he said.

Many men respond to this, Brett Martin said. Yet it eats at them because
all they want is a few hours with their children on what they view as the
most significant holiday of the year.

What will happen to David Scott?

"He made the worst mistake," Brett Martin said. The first thing David
Scott can expect is for a judge to grant Elizabeth Scott a no-contact
order for her and the kids.

"Now, he is completely at the mercy of the system and the mother as to
when he can see his children," Brett Martin said. "It will not be often,
and likely will be supervised from here on out."

Criminal charges will have to be answered. There likely will be probation,
the no-contact order in effect the entire time, he said.

"It will not be forever, but it is a big hole he has just dug for
himself," Brett Martin said.

His phone rings again. It is another man desperate to see his children
before the holidays end.

"It's depressing. These guys have brought presents they may never be able
to give their children. The sitting around the Christmas tree never
happens, so you can imagine what is going through their heads."

Think, Brett Martin said, of David Scott's daughters, of how they watched
their father and the officers, of how they likely will carry that scene
with them forever.

"Take a timeout." Brett Martin said he tells clients every day this time
of year. "Work with her. You and she will be better off.

"And certainly, and most importantly, the kids will be better off."

Bill Johnson's column appears Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. Call him at
303-892-2763 or e-mail him at [email protected].



"Children learn what they live"

[olanna]

While I totally understand how these things fester, for the life of me I don't understand why he had to run from the police.  It was knee jerk reaction that is going to cost him and his little girls dearly in the long run...

And that is the saddest part of this story...