Emancipation of 18 yr, left my home would not abide by my rules --

[jsossi]

We need help on this issue, we have a son 18 as of tomorrow, he is in jeopardy of failing several courses needed for graduation, (N.J.), he is refusing to stop using, and now has left our home to go live with is mother in NY, (where the divorce occurred) still attending H.S. in NJ, support to the exwife was/is being paid timely at a reduced rate for the remaining child in her home, since he was living in our home, NOW the mother wants child support for this 18 child as well, and she is allowing the continued use of the substance -- he has been accepted to college, but failing graduation, that will not occur.  I would like to investigate the possibility of having him emancipated as to me and child support in the event for failure out of high school.  What his mother does I have no interest regarding her continued support of him -- I do not agree to this situation at all and feel that I should not be giving her funds for him to use to pursue his use.  Can anyone advise/help me.  This matter is in the NY Court system.  Thanks.

[mistoffolees]

You don't owe anything except what the court order states.

You said that you were paying reduced support while he lived in your home. Did the court approve this or is it something you did on your own? If the court approved it, you're OK. If you did it on your own, you could owe back support.

First step is to read your court order. Your are required to follow that to the letter. Nothing that either of you says will change that.

You'll want to look up what age emancipation occurs in your state. If it occurs on graduation from high school, you're probably OK since I can't see any way she's going to spend the time and money going to court if he would have finished high school before the court rules. If, on the other hand, your state reqiures you to support him if he's in college, you're likely to have a bigger problem. You'll want to require that they prove that he's attending college, for starters.

Once you have the above information, your path forward will probably be clearer.

[ocean]

If he is living with mom, she can go for child support for him. In NY, she will get an order until he is 21 (maybe 22 if attending college). If he repeats 12th grade, I'm sure they will still make you pay.

So I would continue to pay for the other child until she files in court. She can only get from the date she files so it is really up to her to go. Once she goes though...you will have to pay....

[mistoffolees]

>If he is living with mom, she can go for child support for
>him. In NY, she will get an order until he is 21 (maybe 22 if
>attending college). If he repeats 12th grade, I'm sure they
>will still make you pay.
>


21?

Just one more reason not to live in New York, I guess.

[ocean]

Yup...New York goes to 21....(and you can get stuck with a percentage of college too...)

[Jade]

>We need help on this issue, we have a son 18 as of tomorrow,
>he is in jeopardy of failing several courses needed for
>graduation, (N.J.), he is refusing to stop using, and now has
>left our home to go live with is mother in NY, (where the
>divorce occurred) still attending H.S. in NJ, support to the
>exwife was/is being paid timely at a reduced rate for the
>remaining child in her home, since he was living in our home,
>NOW the mother wants child support for this 18 child as well,
>and she is allowing the continued use of the substance -- he
>has been accepted to college, but failing graduation, that
>will not occur.  I would like to investigate the possibility
>of having him emancipated as to me and child support in the
>event for failure out of high school.  What his mother does I
>have no interest regarding her continued support of him -- I
>do not agree to this situation at all and feel that I should
>not be giving her funds for him to use to pursue his use.  Can
>anyone advise/help me.  This matter is in the NY Court system.
> Thanks.

In NJ, she can file for additional child support for him.  As long as he is in high school, the courts will order you to pay for child support.

And the courts can order you to continue paying child support through college (to a max age of 23).  You can try and get it tied to a passing grade on your child's part.  

[Jade]

>Yup...New York goes to 21....(and you can get stuck with a
>percentage of college too...)
>

In NJ, too.  Except it is 23.  

[cinb85]

think that the NCP has to pay a percentage of the college costs in addition to the CS.

[Jade]

>think that the NCP has to pay a percentage of the college
>costs in addition to the CS.

The costs for college is in proportion to our incomes at the time, but, yes, my ex will have to pay child support AND a percentage of college costs (after all school loans [the the kids have to pay], grants, and scholarships have been exhausted).  

It's in our divorce decree.