Flipped out on DCSE

[dipper]

It must be so hard to keep sight of the support being for your child and not for the ex...rising above her pettiness.  So many people have the opportunity to see their children, but dont want to pay support as they view it as the 'ex' getting their money.  

One reason I do like support going through DCSE is that for the most part, it keeps my ex and I from fighting.  He lies to me anyway - just like he has told me that they had already withheld payments twice from his checks.  Instead of fighting with him about what he should be doing and wont...I fight the system for not legally forcing him, which is the only way support will be paid.  

My dh and his ex are fighters....I could never imagine putting my children through that.  years ago I decided to accept that my ex lies to me and just let whatever he says keep travelling...

I pray that someday your child will see/know that you gave and gave because you loved him/her.  And being that you dont even see the child, that is a huge gift....would be so easy to give in to the anger...

[dipper]

Today I mailed out three letters.  Then this afternoon I got a call from DCSE in Virginia.  The lady said she had gotten a fax that I had written and checked into the case.  This must be a result of the email I sent to my governor last week.  She said she saw that I had called upset yesterday...that was an understatement.

She called the North Carolina caseworker today and got a response in 30 minutes.  My exhusband had turned in his new employer information.  DCSE had sent out a wage withholding.  Between time for it to be delivered in the mail, processed by the employer, and a withholding to take place, they give it 45 days.  In 45 days, if there is no payment, the computer alerts the caseworker.  This is what happened...caseworker called employer and they stated that they never got a wage withholding, so she faxed it.  

Since he just got paid, it will be several more weeks before any support comes - if he doesnt switch jobs.

The lady did say that he was informed when he called in about the employer that he was to send in payments himself until the employer started deductions.  Of course he didnt.

As far as serving papers out of state, they will not do so for child support...at least North Carolina will not serve those of another state.  You can mail it certified.

I have gotten my ex served once at his parent's home about 8 years ago.  I was fortunate enough to have advance notice of his visit and even more fortunate that I was able to request that they serve the papers before his mother took my children to their house.  My girls never had to see their dad get papers from the police officer....

In the past four years however, he rarely ever sees the girls...maybe 2 - 3 times a year....