Looking for help and getting raped

[lyonsden]

If you read this; to find out what it is all about please read my posts under: "I need help, advice, and anything else I may need" in Fathers Issues.

 The following is a post I sent to Socrateaser. I had posted to him looking for help and got very little in return. Other tham getting my posts to him deleted. So read on if you wish and if you have anything that may be of assistance to me and my children PLEASE let me know.




You deleted everything I posted along with your challenge to have others question your insight. What happened?

I told you every thing you asked for and was honest from day one. I have nothing to hide from you or anyone and you treat me like I did you bodily harm when you were telling me that "No one annoys you and lives to tell about it" and you acuse me of being condscending.

I asked if you cared about children and you said NO.

I no longer have web access to my posts because you deleted them, maybe to hide what you said.

Yes I do see thing in a "Right or Wrong" view, is that so bad. Yes the court system has to see things from their perspective not mine or my wife to try to get to the bottom of things. That is why I came to you. What did you do? Turned a blind eye to what I had to say and show.

Well I will not give up because my children are depending on me and I had hoped you would lend your insight instead of redicule and sarcasm.

I was wrong. Delete this if you with, I will repost it under another issue you are not in control of and maybe I can get answers that you want give.

On the NAZI issue you brought up, my mother told me today that my grandads brother was murdered during the war at camp Ohrdruf. So my family to knows the pain of haveing someone you love taken from you by the NAZI death camps.

I wish you had read my last post from start to finish maybe if you had you would have read what was there.

I am only a daddy looking for help, nothing more.>

[lyonsden]

After posting the above message I noticed that my post to SOC did not go thru so apparently he has blocked me from posting to him. What does this mean?

[c_alexander]

Who is Socrateaser? never heard of him/her. If they are on this board I higly doubt they are trying to be malicious...perhaps the explaination lies elsewhere. I dunno.

[MYSONSDAD]

Socrateaser is under "Dear Socateaser". Just scroll down in the message board area. He is here to help anyone who is having difficulties with legal issues. He volunteers his time to help all of us.
 
"Children learn what they live"

[TPK]

>After posting the above message I noticed that my post to SOC
>did not go thru so apparently he has blocked me from posting
>to him. What does this mean?

This probably means you have pissed off Soc beyond what he tolerates.

Forget right or wrong, help yourself and get a lawyer.


TPK

[dipper]

Soc is a genius.  He knows his stuff.  Yes, he is outright in what he says - but he is giving you great advice.  You have to put aside frailty, but you receive free expert advice......great deal I think.......

[jolawanda]

soc told you right from the get go and he doesn't pull punches. He says it like it is....you didn't like that. He made several suggestions to you and you were VERY snotty to him. I was surprised he bantered w/ you as long as he did.

Stop whining and get your ASS to a lawyer just like he suggested. sheesh. No one w/ respect you if you try and bash Soc. His reputation and integrity are pretty solid around here.
In one of his posts he stated to you that you could ask anyone that followed his advice if they WON or not and if they did not then the advice was not followed. *I* for one did not get off my ass and do exactly what he said to do and guess what?

It cost me and Mr. Jola TWENTY SIX THOUSAND DOLLARS. Yeah. you read it right. so, get off your high horse and follow his advice. sheesh!

[backwardsbike]

Hi Lyonsden,

I posted to you before.  I am the NCP mom who shres your procivilty to right/wrong thinking.  I understand how you feel.  I understand how hard it is to let go of the idea of "Justice".  

I wish I had found this site sooner.  I made so many mistakes because I was so stuck on doing it my way.  Now all I can do is watch my kids go down the tubes because the ex is a game player and he's good.  He has the kids an doesn't give a rat's behind about them only the control and power.  But no one cares.  As long as the kids are attending and passing school and aren't turning up at the emergency room at death's door the judge doesn't want to hear it.  So I must wait for things to become dire before I ca do anything.

Don't make the same mistakes I did.  This Custody World is different from anything most people have ever seen. There are different rules here than in the real world and if you don't play by them you will loose.  Your choice is among these:  Learn the rules and play by them, don't play by the rules and loose your kids, Don't play the game at all and just step out of it all.

Good luck to you.  I know it is hard not to take things personally but if you are in this custody world you have to grow a pretty thick skin very fast.

[MixedBag]

and was thinking to myself that you were NOT "listening" or "comprehending" what Soc was trying to tell you at all.

He made a very good point to you, something I wish I could keep in the forefront of my way of thinking as well.

Let me give you an example from what has happened to me as a NCP/BM.  Yep, a mom talking to you.

I filed a "Motion to Change Custody or in the Alternative More Time" with my son because I was retiring from the Air Force AND I was self-employed.  That meant I could be/am a "stay at home parent".  My thought was that mainly for the 12 week summers that my son is out of school, he should be with me instead of with my EX's fake-wife.  It's common sense that the child would benefit from spend more time with their parents, right?

Well, common sense didn't prevail in the court room.  

NO ONE could tell me if my "retirement from the air force" was a significant change in circumstances to go back to court.  The judge ruled it was.

Everyone here will say that a child should have a 50/50 arrangment with their parents where at all possible.....  But the judge didn't rule that way.

He probably wanted to give me more time, BUT in the courtroom he said that I didn't PROVE it was in my son's best interest to increase time with me.  (I didn't bring in an expert witness to testify that it would be in my son's best interest to make the change and increase his time with me.)

So what made sense, didn't prevail in the court room because there are two different standards -- if you ask me.

Sometimes there is a legal answer which is what you're gonna get in the courtroom and sometimes there's a common sense answer and you don't necessarily get that in a court room.  A judge's hands are tied by the law.  The two don't necessarily match up.  

Dad treats me like his ex-wife when he makes his decisions instead of like our son's mom.....and therefore he hurts our son through his decisions.

Maybe that will help you understand what Soc was trying to say to you.

Oh, another thing.....he keeps saying "Hire an attorney!" -- and I'll admit, I'm pro se.  I have no attorney in the courtroom (though I consult with DH's attorney who practices in another state).

My EX and fake-wife think I made a "fool" of myself in court, but I think I did fairly well.  I know I did a thing or two to make the judge mad, but considering that the EX had an attorney and THOSE two had some blunders, I'm not too concerned.  His attorney has no excuse to blunder in the court room -- after all he went to school and stuff to be an attorney.  So when a lay person (O.K, I'm educated more than most here), can point out "hearsay" and "leading questions" or when the judge tells the attorney "It's been a long standing interpretation of the court that....."  I was happy.  If the court has long held that blah blah blah is true, why didn't the attorney advise his client about it?  

Being pro se isn't for everyone.  I'm not sure how much longer I'll go this way, only time will tell.

Keep reading the boards....you've got a lot to learn.

BTW -- my EX and his fake-wife both read the boards.  Then they print off my posts and pass them along to their attorney or DH's EX ....

So ONE day, I bet, this will land in front of the judge and they will attempt once again to twist around what I'm trying to explain to you.

[jolawanda]

well, good gawd, don't get divorced, haven't you ever heard of pet support? Geeez, you are truly a mixed bag! LOL. WOW.