Hopeless with No Money for a lawyer. Any suggestions?

[HelplessInNH]

Good Day,

I live in New Hampshire and my wife and I have filed for divorce. Don't I have a say on WHO my children live with? If my wife moves in with a room mate?

Room Mate, we'll call him MT has twin boys from a girl years ago. She decided she didn't want to live with him, so when the twins were 5 - she ripped them out of their home and move five towns away. MT got to see his twins on the weekends to try to save what was left. When the twins were 8 or 9 - their mother got involved with a lunatic boyfriend. He ended up shooting her and killing her while the twins were in the house. They saw their mother. They were pulled out of the house, which they've known for four years, without their mother, and put into the custody of their father MT.

MT married 1 1/2 years. His wife had two girls and they all moved in together and started their new life. Her girls, his twin boys and MT and Mrs. MT.  1 1/2 years later, last summer, she up and left the house with her two daughters.

This family has gone through such tragic times, I feel bad for them. Really I do. But my wife IS moving into that house with our 4 & 6 year old. He is still there with his 11 year old twin boys and I'm so scared for my kids. Not only do I not know MT - I don't know him if he will hurt my kids, physically or mentally or worse, sexually. I also don't know how his twin boys are emotionally. Will they lash out because some strange lady is moving into THEIR house with two little brats. Rebell, Rebell, Rebell.

I don't want her to put my kids in that house. She is still doing it. She's been moving out boxes and staying out all night over his house. What can I do? I fear for my kid's safety and well being. She doesn't see it as being a bad thing. He can watch the kids at night, when I'm not, and she can watch his kids during the day. Free stay, free daycare.... no change of life style for her... and all that... she will risk her kids lives for. She is willing to take a chance - as she put it. I can't have this. I need to make sure they are safe and secure at all times, in and out of my care. Please help.

[wendl]

How you filed for divorce yet??? If not then tell her she can move BUT the kids are staying in with you in their home.

You need to file asap, you need to ask for custody, you need to get a background check on this man, how scary.

Do your research on your state laws and reach what you can here. Document everything.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[HelplessInNH]

We have filed the petition - jointly. We have the rest of the paper work to do. I wanted to put together an addendum to the decree which included a 90 day period. At the end of the 90 day period we would talk to see how the kids are doing. She didn't like it, but wouldn't rewrite it. Does anyone know where to start in looking in the laws for New Hampshire? Any help would be greatly appreciated. - David

[c_alexander]

There is a Yahoo group that I belong to for men in New Hampshire at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ncfcnh/
Here is their mission statement.

The mission of the of the National Congress for Fathers and Children, Inc. is to serve as a national organization, to assist state and local efforts compatible with the goal of assisting fathers to remain actively involved in the lives of their children regardless of martial status. We provide a forum to coordinate local efforts to impact national initiatives and to bring national attention to local concerns of our affiliated organizations and members.

As the New Hampshire chapter of NCFC, we welcome all men and women who share our concern for men and fathers to attend our meetings and participate in our activism projects.

Donations can be sent to:
Wayne Wood
NCFC Treasurer
428 Newington Rd
Newington NH 03801
NCFC 501C3 Federal ID#: 52-1442749

These guys know the in and outs of New Hampshire Law and might be able to help you better then say I could here in Indiana. I hate to send you somewhere else, but the important thing is to ge tyou the assistance you need.

As far as the kids go, it has been my experience that the courts do not really care, as do most custodial mothers, where or with who your kids live. My ex was living with a known felon and under house arrest (which he broke to stay with my ex). This guy was a wanted criminal....the courts did not care.

About the only thing you can do is try to get custody or at least a 50-50 parenting deal to ge tthem out of that situation as much as possible. About the only way anymore to get custody is to prove she is an unfit mother, and to do that you almost have to play dirty.  Anything short of a video showing the mother smoking crack in front of the lkids is usually thrown out. Once againthe court s do not care. They are interested in getting you to pay Child support so they can get federal funds for their state. Indiana gets $8.00 for every $1.00 of child support they collect. That is why people like Mike cox in Michigan or Mitch Daniels in Indiana are so Gun Ho  about going after these mythical dead beat dads. It means more $$$$$ for them.