The unbelievable story

[mjohns5]

This is a letter I just composed to my potential new lawyer
Because the justice system, and at this time I cant explain the pain and different emotions that I am going through. I feel that I have been let down by my attorney and the justice system. The only individual that I can actually thank and have confidence in at this time is Judge Kennedy in xxxxx Co. I will explain that when I get to it. Maybe I might be overreacting, however I do not think so. I guess what I need to do is tell you the story of what happened to me. I'll keep it " general " and maybe I can come in and talk to you and get into the details, and believe me, there definately are details. At this time my only other options are to contact the ACLU or just kidnap my 3 month old daughter. Neither seem appealing to me, but I'm being left with no choice.
I guess before I get into the " meat " of the story, I should let you know a little about myself. My name is Michael E. Johns, I'm 40 years old. I'm a 9.5 year veteran of the U. S. Marine Corps. I'm was in the first Gulf War, and a combat veteran.One of my goals is to obtain a Bachelor Degree, and I'm trying to do that at University of Phoenix. I'm a local truck driver and employed by R and J Trucking in xxxxxxxxx. So, by now you obviously know, I'm not a rich man, but I'm a spiritual, hard working man with NO CRIMINAL record.
 My story begins in January of 2004. My friend and her family, which have been friends of my family for 30 years, e-mailed me and called me to ask if I wanted to come up to Ohio, from Florida, to live with her and her 7 year old daughter in Oxford and continue my college education in Ohio. I accepted and moved up here to Ohio in Jan. 2004. I started college at ITT Technical Institute and worked part time to contribute money to my friend and roomate, at the time.She, At the time, and still is, employed at xxxxxxxx Healthcare, she is a LPN and grosses a annual amount in the access of 45k a year, which is much more than I make as a local driver here in xxxxxxxxx. My friend, Sheri and I, immediately fell into a intimate relationship, and on May the 9th, she came to me and told me she was pregnant. We both rejoiced at her being pregnant, as were both of our families. We were married on May 29th, but by the end of June, she told me that she did not love me did not want to be married to me, nor did she want me living there anymore. I was devistated, and hurt beyond belief. Sheri, Me, and her 7 year old daughter were a little family, her daughter was calling me daddy, and on June 29th she wanted me to leave. Remember, I was working part time, going to college, and a thousand miles away from family members. Where was I to go? I didnt have enough money to get an apartment, and no family members here in Ohio. I eventually went back to Florida to work with a trucking company, and to dodge Huricanes last summer. Through time I eventually saved up enough money to obtain an attorney ( Parris K. xxx ) and to obtain employment and an apartment in xxxxxxxxx,Ohio. I always believed this child to be mine, however, due to my wifes odd behavior, I thought is best that I have a DNA test conducted. On November 12th, Judge xxxxxxx ordered a DNA test, which was administered on Feb 2nd. At the time of the Order, Judge xxxxxxx ask my wife Sheri if the child was mine. She answered, yes. Through those months when I was absent, my wife would not talk to me, with the exception of the baby's health after a doctors visit, which was once a month. During those once a month phone calls, we did come to an agreement on the childs name and that mommy would contact me to come to the hospital when the child was born. When we found out that the baby was a girl, We agreed to name the child Courtney Nicole xxxxx. On Jan. 7th, I found out through a phone call from my mom, ( she found out via e-mail from my wife's brother ) that my daughter was born, and that her name was Hayleigh Lynn Woxman. Woxman is my wife's ex husband's last name, not mine. On Feb 10th, we had a hearing with Judge xxxxxxx ( Butler Co. ). Even though the DNA test was not back yet, Judge xxxxxxx ordered visitation rights for me, the father, every day for 2 hours. The mediation was supposed to take place March 2nd, and if that did not work, then another hearing for March 10th. During my visits with my daughter, my wife convinced me that she was sorry for the things that she has done to me and begged for forgiviness. Being a spiritual man, a man that prays for a family, I forgave my wife. It wasn't too hard, after all she had done to me, I still loved her, and I wanted to have a family and be with my wife, step daughter and biological daughter. After reconciling, she withdrew the divorce complaint with her attorney ( Pat xxxxxxx ) on Feb 25th. During that time we recieved confirmation that Hayleigh was, in fact, my daughter. I eventually moved my clothes and myself in with her and my daughter in the apartment in xxxxxx. On March 11th, I came to the apartment in xxxxxx and waited for my wife and my daughter to come home, she never did. I called her parents which live in the same apartment complex and they told me they did not know where she was. I then called xxxxxx police department. After a officer was there for about 5 minutes, the dispatcher called the officer and told him that my wife was on the other line and would not speak to me, but would relay a message that she had been to family services, and to her attorney. at that point I did not know where my wife and daughter was. An hour later, my wife text messages me and said that she wanted me to move my clothes out and she was upset that she had heard that morning that I told my, at the time, 8 week old daughter, that " I was going to knock her out" because she was crying. On March 11th, she tried to have a Domestic Violence Protective Order put against me. It was denied and closed by Judge xxxxxxx. On the 14th of March I follwed my wife from work just to find out where my daughter was, because she would not communicate with me, she called xxxxx Co. Sherrif Department, deputies pulled me over to question me. After questioning me, they asked me not to follow her and return to xxxxxxxxx, in which I complied to the deputies orders. On March 18th, my wife went to Warren Co.( another county )and applied for a DV and was approved for her and my daughter. Hearing was set for April 1st. On April 1st, the original magistrate was out, so a substitute took over that day. My wife and I did not get a hearing, we were told that on April 4th that the original magistrate would be back and set another hearing ( as of April 5th no hearing has been rescheduled ). During the mean time, I was left with two choices, see my daughter 1 hour on Sat, and 1 hour on Wed, or no visitation at all. First of all, Judge xxxxxxx gave me two hours a day, seven days a week, and we didnt know for sure if this was my daughter. Now we know... I get two hours a week? I'm not a criminal, I've done nothing wrong, I wanted a family, a mommy and daddy to be in the same home for the girls..... now look at me, I'm being treated like a criminal. I cant file for divorce because I haven't been a resident of Ohio for six months, and for right now, she wont file again, which is in her best interest, because she can play hide and go seek with my child.
Mrs.xxxxx, I feel that I'm being treated like a criminal by the justice system, and I feel like my attorney basically doesn't care. He has no compassion about my case, or my daughter and me. I have paid him three thousand dollars at this point, and I continually get ignored on phone calls, or call backs.... what call backs? I really need some help.
d my attorrney have repeatedly let me down.

[gipsy]

MY OPINION :  I went through a different form of torture , And I advise you to interview MANY atty's , I found one that mostly represents men , I fired two .There are atty's that represnt more men , And you need a clear answer , Don't expect because they passed the BAR  Makes them any special person , think of it like hireing another Marine , or truck driver , They need to talk to you like a human , And  A good atty will cut you off on all the details you have written , And get to the legal issues , This is now a legal issue ,  And $3000 is a chunk  for one court appearance , I would interview Attys and see if the problem is the jurisdiction , I believe you can file for divorce in the proper jurisdiction ,.And she will be paying the travel to your ariginal jurisdiction , Next you need to understand the legal system in your area , Here in Wash state , They alway's appoint a Guardian ad Litem  , Thats because the judge knows the atty's represent the paying client for cash , And they want an investigation , Judges don't go investigate , So they require a report to the court from the Guardian ad litem , Before they will do any thing for you , And the GAL Reports on behalf of the minor child , You need to find out if They use the GAL in your area ,And Yes I absolutely understand the issue of Short visits when the child is very young , I got the same One Hour twice a week as you , So here is My advice , I am not an atty , This is a legal issue about the child and getting a divorce , No More and no less , And atty's and the court don't seem to care about personal issues , So Here's what My atty told me to do , And what I learned by going through the system , Make all your efforts good one's . And Be a good parent . And be nice to all the courts players and appointee's , And it will come out that you will get a good repore from these people ,you will need to get a mother . Or your mom and ask What you need in a diaper bag . Trudge to the store or goodwill , And get the stuff , Get some toys ,baby formula , diapers and clothes for the child , And a bed all set up and take a picture for the next court appearance , Be good and let this mother Do all this garbage , and your letter is pretty factual , And you are not bad mouthing the mother ,this is good , Don't bad mouth  , This is now about the child and the legal issues , It's not as huge as it seems . I went through very similar crap , Show up for every visit and file contempt if she doesn't produce the child THE FIRST TIME  she doesn't go by the court ordered visitation get her straightened out , My psycho ex pulled all kinds of garbage on me and it will get to you , But remmember people like this will screw up , keep your side clean , The mistakes is made were reacting to the mother doing all this , after three atty's I found that they are all kind of lackadaisical about it , Because this is day in day out  buiseness for them , your case is not so wierd , As far as this type of stuff goes , It's just new to you , And It was in the beginning new to me and very shocking , The basics will be that your visits will increase , Just don't do any thing to make it look like your the type she say's you are , And Try as hard as it is through this to enjoy visits , My visits were supervised at first , Talk about being treated like a criminal !! , But My atty guided me toward making the system work for me , And I had to force myself to play with My 11 month old son , And push these painfull issues behind , My good atty advised me to file for custody and take her to trial , I did and it made her straighten up , He said " because she now knows from the beginning you will stand up to her " And it took Untill now , My son is 5 YO , And she is more cooperative , One thing she knows is , If she messes up I will take her too court every time ! So Again I am not an atty , But this is what happened to me and what I gather from being through it , be a father and love the child , Its not your fault all this is happening , And remaining issue is you will love the child as I love my son !! I really never talk to the mother I just get My son , Oh Yeah and on the next  court appearance try to get the exchnge at a place like the police station , Or a public place , My place is Mcdonalds ,This seems wired at first butit works because  My atty told me to get a coke when I get there on time and keep the reciept , If mom doesnt show or have her reciept from Mcdonalds and you do it shows that she was not there and you prove that you were , This put a stop to other tricks that they pull , Relax this is emotionally huge , But  I wonder what the fuss was about , I got my time with my son it all came out OK !

[Hawkeye]

Lawyers.... Harumpf... I'm begining to think Shakesperee was right...

[Brent]

Unfortunately, there is nothing unbelievable about your story. We see this sort of thing a lot. :(  

Welcome to SPARC, start reading. :)  

[Bolivar]

A judge will spend LESS time making a decision about custody than they do for lunch.

Welcome mjohns5.  There are no quick fixes, it takes time and patients.  Learn all you can, support those that are grieving and troubled.

When I first came to these boards I had a question and was looking for "THE ANSWER".  I found out the Divorce Court Industry does not work that way.


"Never forget who your actual opponent is – The System.  Don't give your opponent any opportunity to continue to pretend the problem is between you and the eX-. It thrives on the conflict it engenders."
By Jim Loose

[NoNicky]

Depending on what part of Ohio you are in I can point you to some very good attorneys.


NoNicky
For God has not given a spirit of fear; but of power and of love and of a sound mind.  1 Peter 1:6

[mjohns5]

Thanks for your reply, it was very helpful.

[mjohns5]

I live in Middletown. Butler Co.

[gipsy]

Usually good ethical atty's can point you to another good no Bull atty , In my mind atty selection is 50/50 .  I think  Another question you want to ask atty's , If they are buisy , Is do you know any No Bull atty's that just do there job and Know the courts process on these issue , . In a way You are  About where every one in your position would be with visits , At the childs age , I hate to have too put it this way , But my atty told me , " You have to use the system too your advantage " I already posted about that , You will love the child , I started out different than you , The mother moved away when she was pregnant , And after DNA testing and the first  Gaurdian ad Litem And first ,FIRED! ATTY  , At 11 months of age I saw my son for the first time , And it was heart breaking that he was scared of me , He did not know me , But I knew I was hooked ,and after a few visits I loved the little guy ,  And the people at the  100$ per hour supervised visits said they almost cried < and coukldn't see why I did not cry ! But they were the first part of succes from the system , I was nice to them and they liked me <  the mother was uncooperative  plus some < But all they put into writng to the GAL was that she was uncooperative , , the court also ordered that the mother and I go to co parent counseling , This counselor Also gave a good report to the GAL , I did many things right , And a few wrong , My story is long , If I could Give you peace untill you got to the out come i would , If you had peace untill the out come  You would spend the next few months Enjoying life a little more , And you would still get to the out come < It will probably be < You get divorced and have a permanent parenting plan , Specifying when you get the child , The more friendly and relaxed you are through this the better you will do , I was in a mens group . And I saw men that were more worry free do better , than I did because I react ,