REALLY LOST and need some guidance.

[papaalex2003]

Ok here is my situation. I have a 3 year old daughter. I am the biological father but have not gone through the courst to prove paternity. At this momnet I dont have the funds to hire an attorney for this and I know I will need one due to the mother and family I'm facing. I used to see my daughter often and send her money but that all stopped about 5 months ago. They refused to let me see her of take her off with me, becuase she doesnt like the fact that I got married. (silly yes i know). I call over there and they tell me that she isnt there ever. I ask if i can just stop by but they tell me to call first. I know they are lying because I have called on times that they said she wasnt home but i could hear her in the background. Now it has gotten to the point that when I happen to run into her by chance she is afraid of me. I dont know what to do anymore. Its killing me inside. The sad thing is that my little angel is growing up thinking that I dont want her and im afraid that by the time i have the means to take them to court it will be too late. Will a judge even grant me and time with her if months have passed without seeing her.  I mean I even decided to stop sending money until they let me see her. I'm not sure if that is a good idea either. They wont take me to court because they know that I will be granted some rights, since I have nothing against me and I have custody of my first child.  I really need some guidance here. Totally lost and confused.

[Kent]

Since there is no custody order, you have no rights. You need to get parenting time established. In order to do that, you need to file a petition with the court. In this petition, you also need to ask for a mandatory paternity test. You need to do this ASAP, so they cannot claim "abandonment".

I hope you never sent cash, but always a check writing "Child Support" on it. If not, they may claim you never paid a dime in child support, and you may get hit with 3 years of back child support.
As for now, do not pay any money to them, but instead put that money in a savings account. Should you be ordered to pay back child support, then at least there is some money there.

Check if your state is a one-party state; if so, start recording the phone calls, especially the ones where they claim she's not there while you hear her in the background.

Also start asking for time with her in writing; certified with return receipt.

It is absolutely better to prepare and file your motion through an attorney. However, if you cannot afford and attorney, then go Pro Se (i.e. do it yourself). But : You cannot afford to NOT have an attorney!

Having custody of another child is a plus, but it will not help you a lot.

Kent!

[papaalex2003]

Well the state I live in is Florida. I thought that it is  against the law to record someone over the phone. Also I'm confused about having to pay back child support. I mean my ex wife hasnt neverpaid me child support in over 5 years since the divorce ,and i was told that she wouldnt have to pay retro for those 5 years? I know that I need to ask for paternity, its so hard to do it these days with out an attorney. Thats why Im concerned.

[CustodyIQ]

Hi,

The only reason you'd have to pay retroactive child support is if the mother is receiving any sort of public assistance.  Otherwise, you will only be ordered to pay child support retroactive to the date of the first filing for the paternity action.

It is not necessarily SO HARD to file this action on your own, but it's going to take some time to learn about how it's done.

I suggest that you first go to the courthouse in the county where the child is located.  If there is more than one courthouse in that county that handles family law, just pick the courthouse most convenient to you.

If you're not sure, go to google, type in your county name, the word courthouse, and the word family.  You should be able to find it pretty easily, or at least a courthouse number for whom someone could tell you where you need to go.

Many courthouses have Family Law Information Centers.  If there's one in your county, you can go there for help with picking the right form and filling it out.

You'll file a Petition for Paternity.

You'll propose orders for a parenting schedule within that Petition.  You'll write a declaration, in attachment, that pretty much says you were this kid's dad up until you got married, and then the mother terminated all contact between you and child.

Then, mother will respond.  If her family has money, they'll hire an attorney who will probably try to intimidate you.  I can't imagine that the mother will try to claim you're not the father.

The court may require that you two try to work it out in mediation before a hearing.

Then, finally, you'll either get a mediator to draw up papers, or you'll go to court.

Eventually, you'll get court orders that will outline when the child will be with you.

It is very BAD for your case that you haven't seen the child for 5 months and have been lackluster about filing a paternity action, regardless of reason.

You need to do it ASAP.  Ask plenty of questions, but do it ASAP.  Like... this week.

[Ref]

http://www.flcourts.org/gen_public/family/forms_rules/index.shtml

This page has all the family law forms you should need. The very bottom has a section on paternity. The directions are good, but do you homework. There are procedures that you need to follow that you might miss if you aren't careful.

Dh records calls with his ex. He has a recording of him saying to her, "from now on I will be recording all calls between us". She thought it was an empty threat and is currently ignoring it. Nothing much has come of it, but I'll tell you what, before he recorded, he missed some real jems. I think he is sending a ertified letter to her about some other issues and he is putting those words in it.

Start reading and ask as many questions as you can on this board. It really is the best

Good Luck
Ref

[rm1759]

>Hi,
>
>The only reason you'd have to pay retroactive child support is
>if the mother is receiving any sort of public assistance.
>Otherwise, you will only be ordered to pay child support
>retroactive to the date of the first filing for the paternity
>action.

This isn't 100% accurate in florida.  For an out of wedlock child, the statutes do allow for 2 years of back child support to be assigned.  If you have been paying some support (and it is clearly intended as support) this can offset this amount (they will take the guideline support amount for 2 years, less what you have paid and assign that).

But follow the advice you have been given.  By waiting for 5 months, you're only telling the judge that you don't care about the child.