Need simple help

[fanofdmb84]

I'm trying to find out (for my boyfriend) how he can get joint/partial custody or at least fixed visitation of his 11 month old son.  Right now he has no legal custody, the baby lives with his mother 2 hours away and the mom refuses to leave the baby with his dad for more than a few hours, and so far, Dad has only been able to see his son once every few months.  He's paying child support already, he just wants to see his son more often, preferably with the help of the courts, and without a costly lawyer.  What can he do?

[Ref]

This board will be of great help to your boyfriend. There are so many people who have been where you are and made terrible mistakes. They can help you avoid the same issues.

My suggestion is to file to establish paternity. What state are you in? Many states have webpages with all the forms on them. Many times you can file for visitation rights at the same time paternity is established.

I will defer to the experience of others after that.


Good Luck!
Ref

[fanofdmb84]

thank you for your support.  we live in wisconsin, and he has already been shown to be the father (dna test).  we just don't know which forms to look for, all the jargon is very confusing.

[patton]

1. Do you have any type of court order at all?  For any visitation?  Or just for child support?

2. If you do not have a court order for visitation you will need to file for visitation.  

This looks like a good link to start with for Wisconsin Family Law


http://www.wicourts.gov/services/public/selfhelp/faqsfamily.htm

[joni]

1) He'll need to file for a visitation plan.  He can file this with the friend of the court without having to hire an attorney.  Keep in mind, he'll have to provide a detailed (DETAILED) account of his plan to start with frequent but short visitations until he bonds with the child and move up from there to weekends and over nights.  He will not be awarded every other weekend immediately because of the mother's interference with the visitation AND the fact he hasn't seen the child in months.  Here are some samples of visitation plans from this site, include exact times, exchange places, date ranges of step up.

//www.deltabravo.net/custody/pplanmistakes.htm

//www.deltabravo.net/custody/pplan1.htm

//www.deltabravo.net/custody/eval3.htm

//www.deltabravo.net/custody/eval2.htm

2)  Forget about any sort of joint legal anything with this child.  Don't try to fight that battle unless the mom agrees to it.  You'll only be throwing good money after bad.  Many states have laws that say when a child is born to unwed parents, the mother is automatically awarded sole legal and physical custody.  It's tough to fight this unless mom endangers the child in some way.  You'd be throwing good money after bad.  Spend your money getting the best visitation scenario possible.

3)  At the time you file the parenting plan, you may want to consider asking for a Guardian Ad Litem for your case.  This is a child's advocate who will look out for the child and make decisions on behalf of the child.  This can be very helpful when the parents do not cooperate.  This mom sounds as though she's suffering from separation anxiety.  Possibly also she may be angry because he's no longer with her and use the child to be vindictive.

DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE when this mom may do to keep this child away from your BF or to interfere with visitations.  False accusations are VERY COMMON.  Ask anyone on this board.

DO NOT AGREE to anything that doesn't sit right with you.  It's near impossible to have decisions overturned and it'll cost you a ton of money. Hire a lawyer right away if this starts to happen.  

LISTEN TO YOUR INSTINCTS.

HIRE AN ATTORNEY if you feel gender discrimination as a man.  Go to this site to find one that certified in family law in your state, //www.aaml.org/directory.htm

GOOD LUCK!