Please help

[worriedgirlfriend]

Ok this is a wierd situation. I got with my boyfriend about 6 months after he split up with his x. they were never married but do have a son. The son is almost 3. Since Me and my boyfriend got together she has not let him see his son at all. Being how he is she pushes him around and dont let him have an decision in anything. Now I am very close to my dad and I know how important it is to have one. I was wondering that if he went to pick up his son and took him would he get in trouble? I know she would call the cops but since he is the father and did not leave state would they still charge him with kidnapping???? Please help. It has been 8 months since he has seen his son.         We live in colorado

[CustodyIQ]

He needs to file a paternity action in a courthouse in the county where the child resides.

The paternity action will establish him as the father.

At that time, there will be orders made for when he can spend time with the child, as well as for child support.

Once court orders are made for when he can spend time with the child, both parents must abide by those orders.

If one parent elects to ignore the court orders, that parent can be held in contempt of court.

If the father attempts to abduct the child without the mother's consent, and if they were never married, he could get into a heap of trouble that would hurt his future opportunities in court to get legitimate orders.

So... he would be best off consulting with and retaining an attorney.

At a minimum, he may want to check if the courthouse has a Help Desk where they could at least help him fill out the forms and file them correctly.

He can expect that within a couple months of filing, there will be temporary orders that dictate when and how often he and the child will see each other.

[gipsy]

personally I would not just take the child ! You could post the question on socrateaser's board , Wich is on this site ! There is a court process as stated by custody IQ , A paternity action is when You file with the court to establish who the fater is , In My case I asked for genetic testing , Based on the fact that I wasn't really even her boy friend . We had a fling and she got pregnant , The court ordered that I have a regular parenting plan , :: Every other weekend , Half of holiday's , And 2 weeks summer vacation , With 4 weeks summer vacation at age 6 or first grade , . Basically he needs a court ordered parenting plan in place . This all seems to be a  freaky court process , However . try to file for mediation and get a parenting plan , And maybe Mom will talk to a realistic atty that will tell her the truth , Wich is the court system is a uneccessary process , BUT if she just agree's then You will get a parenting plan and a child support order ,
   If you spend money in the court , You will get  the same  Or similar to what I said I have ,
   It's important to file for a parenting plan and get somwething in the court so she can't just move away , even if He just files for a tremporary Parenting plan untill this sorts itself out ,
   IF the mother doesn't go psycho over the issue the court will just sign off on a plan , and its done ,
  Sooo hope for the best : You may file a temporary restraining order untill this gets settled ,
  I kept my psycho's feet to the coals all along and she has learned that
  If she messes with me there will be results , I get my visitation , I recomend the same , Get a parenting plan and if she messes up once ,file contempt ,And you probably will put an end to her contrrol issues ,
  My atty say's if you let her get away with it you teach her that she can < And he does well for men !

[sheerdark]

Wow! 8 months without seeing his child?  That's awful.  He'd barely even know the child now, as they grow and change fast, especially if the child is young - you've got to get him to go to court and get the paperwork.  I agree that just taking the child is a VERY BAD decision...especially considering it's already been so long.

You've got to let him know, as others have said, that as the father - he has legal rights!  However, each month he wastes makes him look even worse.  Something that I'm surprised about is that the mother hasn't gone to court to at least get child support...many of them do.  If he gets visitation, he'll have to pay support...but that is nothing compared to never seeing your own child.  I hope for the best - he needs to act NOW...every day with a child is so important.

[worriedgirlfriend]

She has taken him for child support. She is now getting more then half his monthy income. I want to get a paternity test done. (the child does look exactly like him though.) But it happened the first time they had sex and she has a daughter  and has no clue who her dad is (after testing five guys). We cant afford to have a test done. If we go through the courts does anyone know how much it might cost?  If the boy is not his will he still have to pay for it? Thank you all for your advice.

[sherrie ohio]

It's been a few years back for my husband,but it was $300.00 for DNA testing.I couldnt even begin to guess the cost now.Each state has differant rules and set cost.

[CNTD]

As the other's have said:

Go down to the court house, most larger court houses (I'm unsure of where specifically you are in Colorado was it?) will have a pro-se division, that has papers that you just fill in the blanks.

File a motion to establish paternity. Most judges (if they're not sexually biased) will have the parties split the testing fee.

With the motion to establish paternity, you should request time with the child, probably weekends, and have him one weekday evening for a few hours during the week, usually Wednesday.

That's just a motion basically what you are wanting with him, then his ex-girlfriend will have so many days to either respond, or hire an attorney to respond for her, in response to the motion you put in.

Goodluck.