Looking for some help here

[lilmule]

Hi there I'm in a bit of a situation and I was wondering if anyone has gone through something similar. I got involved with a girl and we got pregnant. We were not together long but I as a father am committed to my child. The mother has completely cut me off from the prebirth of our daughter. I'm lucky if  I hear from her maybe once in a month in a half. She refuses help with medical bills and will not allow me to attend Dr.'s Appointments.

Now I have come to grips with that situation and naturally I would file for joint custody upon the childs birth (in Feb). But here is the catch. I am in the national guard and there is a good chance that I will at the very least be called up to active duty if not sent to Iraq entirley. I am terrified that with this type of seperation my family will have no contact or influence on this child until I return (if I return). I was just wondering if anyone else has encountered something like this and if there is something I can do like perhaps have my parental rights handed over to my parents while I'm gone so at the very least I can be in the loop about the health and welfare of my daughter. PLEASE I have no idea what I'm doing here and even the smallest amount of advice would mean a great deal to me thanks!!!!!

[pollar]

I'm current girlfriend went through something like your situation.  You can do petition the courts for paternity. They can test you but depending on the state you live him she can refuse the paternity test on her behalf. Until paternity is established, you will not have any access to your ex.

Being you're in the military, you have the advange at this point. The court system frouns on allenation from a child if any one is in the military. Step in to the water by putting in a petition Now, so when and if you leave you're case will stay pending your return. Also no state in America will want to miss out on childsupport so this is to your advantage.

It's up to the courts when you're visitation is granted so seek information in your state. Don't be afraid to ask for help. The only fear you will have is a yes or no. Trust me on this.

My girlfriends ex took the kids away from her on false accusations only because he was in the military they take thing more serious. Please don't try to take the child away unless absolutely a must do. By petitioning the courts, you'll show that you are a dedicated father and want to be in you childs life.

Even though the child is not yet born there may or may not be a law guarden appointed also they froun on moms keeping kids from their dads. So for now as hard as it will be, leave her alone and see what the courts will determine.

As for my girlfriend, she got the kids back on the bases of her ex got busted for running a meth lab.

Pollar dedicated father

[gipsy]

Not in the military but , Went through the same thing exactly ,  Wash state , In short , You will file with the court to establish paternity , you will be going to a place where they test , And you mom and Baby will Get tested and if you are likley to be dad then you will be dad < Secondly As soon as this happens file for a parenting plan , And then it sounds she will be a butt head , So then you will have to appoint a Guardian ad litem , Because the court has to view these things with caution , And she will be likely to make up a story or two about you , The GAl will report to the court ,
  They won't do to much , But my report basically said ,:: Dad has a crib house toys and things he needs for a baby , Job , Life and none of moms allegations check out ! , Dad should have a parenting plan , And baby should be afforded a dad !

The rest is stress , But Just think you are in it for the child , And My case none of her allegations equated to a lot < The court wants kids to have dads , And although the mom in my case tried EVERY STUNT ! The court said I see the child ,
    If she messes up file contempt . Keep posting . And post on Socrateasers board , This Guy is an atty , And he makes it simple , What ever you do don't give up , I didn't and I have a good relationship with my son , He was born out of wedlock  From a fling with the nieghbor whom was showing me her tit's in the window , So I went to investigate ,
 She is a psycho , But my son has a dad , And he loves me I pick him up from school , Once a week and see him every other weekend , Holidays and summer vacation he goes camping with me , He's a good boy and I know I did the right thing , And  odd as it may seem , Now the mother see's I never backed down from her and had her ass in court many times , And she no longer messes with me ,