new father seems to have no rights

[grandma of one]

trying to find out info for my son first time dad, child is now 3 mos
parents not married living with my mother in another county relationship
of parents not good at all. visiting my home until christmas day doing
a family portrait for my mother for christmas present, mother of my
granddaughter causes a huge fight between herself and my son in a mall
very embarrassing later find out because she didnt want to be in the
picture or have anything to do with our family for the holidays due to
her family not being around her for anything!(sad) her parents not
involved in her life not even thru her pregnancy. She keeps contact
with her mom thru e-mails and then her mom e-mails her back no cards
no initiated contact by her parents personally. A bigger fight ensues son
gets arrested mother and grandaughter taken somewhere by police.
my son has to appear for court no representation nothing asked how he
pleads to be home for christmas he decides to plea guilty! He now has
no rights for trying to have joint custody and mother can leave the state
etc... she has everything. this seems so very,very unfair. What can he
do, what can our family do to help in this situation so very troubled!!!
We have not seen nor heard granddaughter or mother for 2 weeks.
HELPPPPPPPP!

[Indigo Mom]

first of all, commas and periods go a long way in helping to understand your post.

Now, lemme see....

I have to say that no contact with parents (i'm talking about your sons adult girlfriend) really sucks, and does tend to put a damper on your life.  I have parents who I "do" have contact with, but they drive me nuts with all their insults.  Though I do love my folks, I would be happier in my life if they'd move to Mars.  So, understand that this woman is having a tough time because the 2 people who are SUPPOSED to love her...don't.  That's a big old sucky pill to swallow.

-----A bigger fight ensues son
gets arrested mother and grandaughter taken somewhere by police.
my son has to appear for court no representation nothing asked how he
pleads to be home for christmas he decides to plea guilty! -----

I have to say this.  Your son is an idiot!  Either that, or he really is guilty of whatever he has been charged.  People don't plea guilty if they're innocent.  What's the charge?  Domestic violence?  If so, then he's up shit creek for a little while.  

-----He now has
no rights for trying to have joint custody and mother can leave the state
etc... she has everything. this seems so very,very unfair. -----

Who says he has no rights?  They've already been to criminal court AND custody court?  Seems like such a short time to be in and out of both those places, especially around the Holidays.

-----What can he
do, what can our family do to help in this situation so very troubled!!!
We have not seen nor heard granddaughter or mother for 2 weeks.-----

A few more details, commas, and periods are in order here.  

[gipsy]

At first it seems to be that as a DAd You don't have any rights !! And to a degree , You don't , But to a degree there are a number of rights that Dads do have , Soo First off , Yes you feel so beat by this , But I always tell people , There is a process for every state  Some vary but in general . I will say what happens in < Wash state ,
   This is My story in  General terms to be brief
     False allegations [like the psycho's invented this )
  Went to see the commissioner for temp orders , In wash state you see a commissioner for temp orders for child suppoert and visitation ,
    In Wa state the commissioner will do nothing for the Dads visits when there are Allegations , But they will make the Dad pay child support , So hERE WHEN YOU GO  to the commissioner for temp orders You also file the papers for the appointment of A Guardian Ad Litem .  Highlite the word      Guardian Ad Litem    and click or double click it and this site will explain what a GAL Is ,    So what Your son needs is to know that He will feel beat down If he doesn't know that the commissioner will do nothing for Him untill  The commissioner see's a GAL report . So Son Has to file the papers to appoint a GAL , That Is simple He can go to a Parrelegal
        Let Me give you suggestions on what he can do Here in Pierce county wash
   Type In Your search bar       Northwest Justice project    That will take you to a site that has family law packets , , try to find such a site for your state ,
   Also this site has an area where they have legal papers for All states , You can down load them . I never used them
       Next call the court  And ask if there is a time when atty's help pro se litigants file papers they do it here , you just stand in line and they help ,
    Call a parrelegal they can  help file the papers, But he has to go talk to the judge or commissioner ,  Basically all he has to say Is he wants to see the child . Tell Him not to make up a story or tell anystory to the commissioner , When He Files for the GAl the GAL will report to The commissioner, He should also be filing a declaration To support his Appointment of a GAL . Make sure It say;'s this is at a split fee , Mom pays half , And tell Him to ask for atty fee's because she is making up stories , If He doesn;t say No to all the fee's  really have been abused , So the court has to check this out ,
  But then again Once in front of a commissioner , The commissioner ask me My Bday , Etc and looked right there in the computer , Then told the other Idiot atty , Mr XXXX doesn't have a record , So there could be a Little problem since he plead the case , But again and again I say , All he has to do Is take an anger management class and convincethem That He is now a better man and get a good report and that will soon be in the past , Keep posting , But clarify what the heck you are saying , .
    And remmember Once in court is nnot the end , Its just the wonderfull beginning , What Ever he does tell your son not to react to any thing she does , This is clear cut intimidation , They want to cause a fight and then play the victim , It works for them very well , Don't get caught up in it
    Next I had watched a case where the dad was accused and the GAL reported that the mom was a perpetrater of the violence , And Dad had completed a Anger management class so the court accepts this as good on dads half , And dad won custody ,
     

[grandma of one]

Gipsy
Thanks so much for the input, I want people to know I'm
in no way condemning his girlfriend, as far as I'm concerned
She's had lots of personal family problems growing up. She's young 19
and we do care about her believe it or not! We just want to find
her and his daughter. Mom is mentally troubled, she is supposed to be taking wellbutrin doctors orders and she doesn't, so she becomes a
raging, unrashional person who feels she has the right to use their child as a pon to get what she wants or have things her way! She tells lies so much it's hard to decipher what's true. Your absolutely right my son needs to get through the court ordered classes to prove he's a good person/father. Myself and the rest of my family told him this but, we
as said still don't know his daughters whereabouts, he has the right
to see her and spend time with her, he just can't be within 300 yrds
of the mother etc...


                                                 thanks grandma of one

[gipsy]

At first it seems to be that as a DAd You don't have any rights !! And to a degree , You don't , But to a degree there are a number of rights that Dads do have , Soo First off , Yes you feel so beat by this , But I always tell people , There is a process for every state  Some vary but in general . I will say what happens in < Wash state ,
   This is My story in  General terms to be brief
     False allegations [like the psycho's invented this )
  Went to see the commissioner for temp orders , In wash state you see a commissioner for temp orders for child suppoert and visitation ,
    In Wa state the commissioner will do nothing for the Dads visits when there are Allegations , But they will make the Dad pay child support , So hERE WHEN YOU GO  to the commissioner for temp orders You also file the papers for the appointment of A Guardian Ad Litem .  Highlite the word      Guardian Ad Litem    and click or double click it and this site will explain what a GAL Is ,    So what Your son needs is to know that He will feel beat down If he doesn't know that the commissioner will do nothing for Him untill  The commissioner see's a GAL report . So Son Has to file the papers to appoint a GAL , That Is simple He can go to a Parrelegal
        Let Me give you suggestions on what he can do Here in Pierce county wash
   Type In Your search bar       Northwest Justice project    That will take you to a site that has family law packets , , try to find such a site for your state ,
   Also this site has an area where they have legal papers for All states , You can down load them . I never used them
       Next call the court  And ask if there is a time when atty's help pro se litigants file papers they do it here , you just stand in line and they help ,
    Call a parrelegal they can  help file the papers, But he has to go talk to the judge or commissioner ,  Basically all he has to say Is he wants to see the child . Tell Him not to make up a story or tell anystory to the commissioner , When He Files for the GAl the GAL will report to The commissioner, He should also be filing a declaration To support his Appointment of a GAL . Make sure It say;'s this is at a split fee , Mom pays half , And tell Him to ask for atty fee's because she is making up stories , If He doesn;t say No to all the fee's  really have been abused , So the court has to check this out ,
  But then again Once in front of a commissioner , The commissioner ask me My Bday , Etc and looked right there in the computer , Then told the other Idiot atty , Mr XXXX doesn't have a record , So there could be a Little problem since he plead the case , But again and again I say , All he has to do Is take an anger management class and convincethem That He is now a better man and get a good report and that will soon be in the past , Keep posting , But clarify what the heck you are saying , .
    And remmember Once in court is nnot the end , Its just the wonderfull beginning , What Ever he does tell your son not to react to any thing she does , This is clear cut intimidation , They want to cause a fight and then play the victim , It works for them very well , Don't get caught up in it
    Next I had watched a case where the dad was accused and the GAL reported that the mom was a perpetrater of the violence , And Dad had completed a Anger management class so the court accepts this as good on dads half , And dad won custody ,
     

[grandma of one]

Gipsy
Thanks so much for the input, I want people to know I'm
in no way condemning his girlfriend, as far as I'm concerned
She's had lots of personal family problems growing up. She's young 19
and we do care about her believe it or not! We just want to find
her and his daughter. Mom is mentally troubled, she is supposed to be taking wellbutrin doctors orders and she doesn't, so she becomes a
raging, unrashional person who feels she has the right to use their child as a pon to get what she wants or have things her way! She tells lies so much it's hard to decipher what's true. Your absolutely right my son needs to get through the court ordered classes to prove he's a good person/father. Myself and the rest of my family told him this but, we
as said still don't know his daughters whereabouts, he has the right
to see her and spend time with her, he just can't be within 300 yrds
of the mother etc...


                                                 thanks grandma of one

[Peanutsdad]

Ok, first of all, speaking as a father who HAS rights,, in fact, HAS custody of his children,,, let me say this. Your son either needs to get a handle on himself, or he'll ENDLESSLY suffer the consequences of his actions.

IF he DIDNT commit the offense he plead guilty to,, shame on him. He just GAVE away pretty much anything he previously had on his gf.

It doesnt matter if the gf becomes a raging irrational person off meds,, he has a conviction,, she doesnt. Court, and ESPECIALLY family courts, are about what you can PROVE, not about the truth.

He has already turned an uphill battle for himself into a mountain.

I strongly urge you tell your son to get his ass to this site, read everything thats here and lose the emotion. It has zero place in his case to regain contact with his child. The likelyhood of his regaining CUSTODY, is approximately the same as getting struck by lightening twice. A guilty plea was the absolute WORST thing he could do,, unless, he IS actually guilty,, then, sorry, but it sounds as tho NEITHER parent needs be parents.

From the jumble,, I gather,, THAT assumption is basically true. You would be better served telling BOTH of these idiots to grow the hell up.

[grandma of one]

peanutsdad,
I'm not trying  to score points but, as matter of factly your right
they do need to grow up! My son is Guilty as charged and as
said he has to take classes but, that doesn't mean he or any of his
family members shouldn't know where his daughter is! The judge
said he could visit with his daughter,he just has to stay away from the gf right now. Even though I'm his mom I sometimes feel the same way
as to what you were sorry about, it's the sad truth unfortunately!  

[Peanutsdad]

Then I am sorry for you,, in essence, when a man commits DV AND gets convicted of it, it carries a much blacker stain than when its a woman.

If a judge has ordered contact and the bm isnt allowing it, see an attrny,, file contempt. Record EACH occurance by contacting the police and filing a statement that shows it.

[gipsy]

Peanuts dad is right , Your son messed up . Now he has to play the game that the court will lay in front of him . The good thing is that the judge saw through it And gave him visits , With a restriction on how close he gets to Mom ,
   Here Is A suggested plan , He will have to find Mom some how ,She likely to be running around flashing the guilty plea , Getting relatives to help her hide ,
   Again I speak from the cases I know ,
    A fellow Man I knew had a similar case and regained visitation .
   He did it By Improving himself in the waiting period .
   I suggest Son gets the anger management class going ,
 And keeps a job < gets a place and has the toys and childs things all prepared
   I will give you an excerpt of what  the judge said to My friend who improved himself in the waiting period
     Mr , Dad Has taken steps to improve himself , Mom Has not changed any thing , Dad gets overnight visits
    Here is an excerpt from My first GAL report ,
      Mr Gipsy . Has a room with toys etc and a bed waiting for the chance to have his son over , I GAL , See no reaSON  why this child should not be afforded a father ,The mom makes allegations And there is no proof ,
   Thats what you have to do comply and get ready , If he does nothing the judge will be likely to  have a report that say's ,
   Dad did nothing and there has been no change , Supervised visits !
I did have support from My family they went out and got a childs bed . And all the stuff I needed , Then notified me that this wasn't free , And I had to pay them Back , Gee's I thought they were giving it all for free , BUT !! I needed them to help me get ready for a kid ! Moms can do that part , Moms know what is needed , The end result was good The GAL came by and looked at My house and the toys , This whole process plays itself out , And Is way simpler than you think , I was in a quandry about the whole thing , And to tell the truth Even trial in front of the judge was way simple , As My atty say's again and again , These are not complicated cases , This is not a complex legal issue ,  what was noted and abserved by the system and the judge in the finality of it all was way less than I ever expected , It really is simple if your son does something to her again ,it will be simple to the judge , If he cooperates it will be simple to the judge !!,