How to get out....

[Luving StepMom]

I have a friend who has recently (this week) split up with his wife. He has 2 young children and he wants to make sure he has a chance at custody (as least joint) with his kids.  I know the best thing is for him to stay in the home and keep the kids and have her leave, but this isn't really an option for him as she won't leave. In addition, when he is in the home she trys to make their discussions physical by pushing him, blocking doorways, and he is concerned she's going to claim domestic violence when that's not the case so he felt he had to leave.  

He also has concerns she's not mentally stable, but has no "proof" of this besides his word vs hers.  He didn't want to leave the kids with her, but he knows she will track him down and physically take them if he trys to take them.  So where does he go from here - any advice on some of the first steps he should take to make sure he doesn't screw things up for chances of custody with his kids?

[MYSONSDAD]

TGB's Newsletter: ''Tips For Getting Started''
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/news/10-19-2000.php - size 7kb - 23 Oct 2005

Your friend is correct. Stay in the home and don';t leave the kids with her.

Have him read this.


The List, by 'Tom'- A quick, practical primer on what to do if you find yourself in a divorce and/or custody situation.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/thelist.php - size 43kb - 05 Nov 2005

[gipsy]

short of reversing  the bullshit propagated by the feminatsi's ,
  Go take the kids and trump up allegations of abuse , And file a restraining order  against her :
  Or let her do the dirty work ,
     Right now he is establishing status quo and she will remain with the kids ,
 Or he could claim whats going on, and say what she has been doing and file a restraing order ,  Divorce papers , And temporary orders and set up a house etc . After he takes the kids , And go testify that she is not stable , Then he gets the status quo ,


 Sounds like the psycho I was married too : She did exactly what he fears , My psycho did every thing she could do get me too hit her , Just think , She gets you arrested and gets the house , And the kids , Just by provokiing a fight , Except for my situation . The police saw right through it and they made her leave "
    I would recommend he take the free consult from a few atty's .
    What I wrote is what Has happened to men , Women do this all the time ,
   It sounds that this woman is going to be a huge problem ,
   Looking back ward with the two women I had problems with , They planed deviously to advance thier position , The problem is if you let her file for divorce she wll be likely to pull a bunch of crap .
  If he files he could set the stage and take the kids and claim she is a danger to the children etc > Add feminatsi training ,
   It sounds that this women will be a nightmare to divorce , And will fight it tooth and nail , He needs to take excesses of money etc if she hasn't already , Cancel credit cards in her name , Ad infinitum ,
  Another Idea It to call the police on her and try to have her removed from  the house , Be leary of trying things that are vendictive , But As your short post sounds , She is allready trying it on him and he needs to get his ducks in a row ,
 My bet she has control of the money credit cards Etc etc , He needs to change this and not start a divorce with his hands tied

[Lawmoe]

Relocating from the home will immediately place him at a disadvantage since the home will be considered a point of stability for  the children in an unstable divorce situation.  He must get a divorce filed immediately and schedule a temporary hearing to resolve the temporay custody issues.  During that period he must try to de-escalate any conflicts.  Document issues that occur.  Use witnessses where possible and if his wife becomes abusive, seek a restraining order against her.  This could significantly shift the case in his favor.  

[Brent]

Must-read pages:

Steps To Protect Yourself
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/protect.php

First Aid Kit For Divorcing Dads
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/firstaid.php

Tips On Keeping Documentation
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tips1.php

[Emasculated1]

tell him to stay and fight. he has as much right to be there as she does, and tell him to start carrying a mini tape recorder. tell him to tell her that, from now on, he'll be taping all their conversations. i know this sounds extreme, and SPARC isn' t the one giving this advice, i am.  those are his kids too, and he has to remember that.


My blood...My babies...My life.