File for mod of joint legal and cont, can we still file custody appeal?

[dipper]

Hi all, dh went to court in January 2006 for custody of his 14 year old son.  BM has been primary for four years.  SS wanted to live with us and has been in serious trouble and suffered severe burns while in BM's care. This school year, he has been suspended in or out of school several days each month.  He also has a criminal matter pending for actions at the school.

The judge in January was old, retired actually, and didnt like ss.  He said ss was manipulating everyone and trying to dictate where he wants to live..and he was not giving him what he wants.  The judge said he thinks ss will wind up in serious trouble in the future and ordered counseling.  

Since the hearing, BM has been on her high horse.  DH and BM share joint legal, but there are no specifications.  BM absolutely refuses to tell dh of school meetings, counseling appts., etc.  She has made plans on DH's time and taken visitation away from him.  We tried to correct this by sending her a letter, with copies to lawyers.  Didnt phase her at all.  She sent a letter to dh saying that we need to stop fighting her as we are hurting their sons....and told him to stop complaining or she will stop allowing him any extra time.  She claims she let ss stay an extra day in January at dh's request - actually, she had no headlights and wanted to pick ss up early, so dh told her he would bring him home the next day.

DH wants to appeal the custody decision of the court in January....but in Virginia, you start out in J & D, then file an appeal that goes to circuit court.   You have to wait for the actual order to be filed.. and her lawyer has not signed the order.

The latest....ss is serving 5 days in school suspension, and then will be serving 5 days out of school suspension.  She didnt tell dh about this.  SS slipped up and mentioned something and then he told dh........we had to email an administrator at the school to find out what happened and how much punishment ss was given.  BM does not punish at all.  

BM's letters basically tell dh to buzz off...and then tells him to send her some money....for her lawyer...for supplies she donated.......

Her lawyer is representing ss in his criminal matters.  

DH wants to file an appeal on custody when the order is filed.  However, it seems there needs to be joint legal specifications and she is in contempt for interfering with visitation.  

If dh files for modification of joint legal and contempt for visitation......will he still be able to file for appeal on the custody trial?